Mapa de las Lenguas 2023

«Quiénes somos ahora», de Katya Adaui: ¿Dónde poner el amor?

Todo mapa es una representación del mundo que refleja la visión de quien lo dibuja, y el Mapa de las Lenguas no tiene fronteras ni capitales: once libros, un año y un territorio común para la literatura de veintiún países que comparten un idioma con tantas voces y lenguas como hablantes. Invitados por LENGUA, los autores de la edición de 2023 exponen su geografía literaria y explican cómo ésta encaja en esta colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura en español. Aquí, Katya Adaui escribe sobre «Quiénes somos ahora».

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un ratito, voy a ponerla en la posici\u00f3n en que naci\u00f3\u00bb, me dijo Alicia, la veterinaria que hab\u00eda atendido a Mara, mi perrita de diecis\u00e9is a\u00f1os, apenas debi\u00f3 sacrificarla. La embols\u00f3 sobre la camilla y la molde\u00f3 con suavidad apret\u00e1ndola contra su cuerpo. Me la devolvi\u00f3, tibia. En esa misma postura y ese mismo calor, yo hab\u00eda conocido y cargado a Mara \u2013aliento a leche\u2013 cuando ten\u00eda dos meses. Se me paralizaron las l\u00e1grimas o se postergaron. La tristeza profunda nunca lleg\u00f3.\u00a0<\/p><p>Yo no s\u00e9 bien, aunque lo intuyo, por qu\u00e9 sus palabras y su gesto tuvieron ese poder. Quiero decir: me cambiaron la vida. Nada me ha sabido consolar m\u00e1s. Fui removida de la desesperaci\u00f3n y la autocompasi\u00f3n por una bondad que lleg\u00f3 sin que la pidiera.\u00a0<\/p><p>Cuando volv\u00ed a casa, escrib\u00ed: \u00abVoy a ponerla en la posici\u00f3n en que naci\u00f3, dijo Alicia\u00bb. Entonces pens\u00e9 que todo se trata de d\u00f3nde poner el amor. Y algo se destrab\u00f3, tambi\u00e9n en la escritura. Inesperada, urgent\u00edsima, misericordiosa, dique y embalse, rompeolas, una corriente \u00edntima me arrastraba a aguas seguras y encontr\u00f3 sus formas fragmentarias y entrecruzadas en una narraci\u00f3n <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/208855-katya-adaui\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">en primera persona<\/a><\/span>. Uno de los problemas de la primera persona es c\u00f3mo distribuir la justicia, no quer\u00eda cebarme con una mirada denostativa por m\u00e1s que hubiera una rabia que aprecio. Esta vez mi rabia era serena. Por fin ten\u00eda la distancia \u2013un destiempo\u2013 para iluminar ciertos pasajes de mi propia vida, para pensar mis barrios, mi ciudad, y qu\u00e9 signific\u00f3 crecer en la Lima desigual de los setentas, ochentas, noventas, dos miles, con ese mar, Dios m\u00edo, ese mar, y con padres trabajadores, anestesiados, que solo parec\u00edan tener en com\u00fan tres adicciones con C: caf\u00e9, conflicto y cigarro, y que hab\u00edan atravesado sus propios itinerarios de p\u00e9rdidas, secretos y negaciones. El texto se mover\u00eda entre pasado y presente, dar\u00eda cuenta de las mudanzas y la migraci\u00f3n, de la llegada a la escritura, del proceso de intentar transformar el dolor en arte. Se escribe con una mano pegada a la infancia, dice Mar\u00eda Negroni. Supongo que por eso, a medida que avanzaba, surgieron estas primeras frases: \u00abEn 1986 yo ten\u00eda nueve a\u00f1os y todos los augurios se anunciaban en el cielo. <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/chernobil-svetlana-alexievich-carmen-de-la-cueva\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Chern\u00f3bil<\/a><\/span>, el Challenger, el cometa Halley, y el avi\u00f3n de Alitalia que deb\u00eda traer a mi 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personas solas en una habitaci\u00f3n no saben qu\u00e9 hacer\u00bb, dice John Cassavetes, dice Gay Talese. Ellos me hicieron ver que suelo escribir sobre dos personas encerradas en una habitaci\u00f3n, reaccionando a ese clima que van creando. Juntas atraviesan su extranjer\u00eda, su desencaje, en una vibraci\u00f3n que pese a todo se reconoce afectuosa.\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><em><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/tematicas\/312461-ebook-quienes-somos-ahora-9786125080011\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Qui\u00e9nes somos ahora<\/a><\/em><\/span> es un t\u00edtulo sin respuesta. Afirmativo, aunque su esp\u00edritu es abierto, entre la convocatoria y el despiste. Durante su escritura el lenguaje se volvi\u00f3 azul. Se hizo mar\u00edtimo, como las playas p\u00fablicas de mi ni\u00f1ez que no existen m\u00e1s, algo del mecerse, del ir y volver, de orillarse en el silencio.\u00a0<\/p><p>Convers\u00e9 con muertos, vivos y sobrevivientes y me dieron el tono que buscaba. <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/natalia-ginzburg-por-elena-medel\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Natalia Ginzburg<\/a><\/span>, Vivian Gornick, Jamaica Kincaid, Erri De Luca, Tove Jansson, <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/anna-ajmatova-marina-tsvetaieva-julia-navarro-una-historia-compartida\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Marina Tsviet\u00e1ieva<\/a><\/span>, Anne Boyer, Joy Williams, Donald Amtrim, Mart\u00edn Ad\u00e1n, Mary Sarton, Al \u00c1lvarez, Agota Kristof, Annie Ernaux. 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5 minutos
Katya Adaui. Crédito: Alejandra López.

Katya Adaui. Crédito: Alejandra López.

«Dame un ratito, voy a ponerla en la posición en que nació», me dijo Alicia, la veterinaria que había atendido a Mara, mi perrita de dieciséis años, apenas debió sacrificarla. La embolsó sobre la camilla y la moldeó con suavidad apretándola contra su cuerpo. Me la devolvió, tibia. En esa misma postura y ese mismo calor, yo había conocido y cargado a Mara –aliento a leche– cuando tenía dos meses. Se me paralizaron las lágrimas o se postergaron. La tristeza profunda nunca llegó. 

Yo no sé bien, aunque lo intuyo, por qué sus palabras y su gesto tuvieron ese poder. Quiero decir: me cambiaron la vida. Nada me ha sabido consolar más. Fui removida de la desesperación y la autocompasión por una bondad que llegó sin que la pidiera. 

Cuando volví a casa, escribí: «Voy a ponerla en la posición en que nació, dijo Alicia». Entonces pensé que todo se trata de dónde poner el amor. Y algo se destrabó, también en la escritura. Inesperada, urgentísima, misericordiosa, dique y embalse, rompeolas, una corriente íntima me arrastraba a aguas seguras y encontró sus formas fragmentarias y entrecruzadas en una narración en primera persona. Uno de los problemas de la primera persona es cómo distribuir la justicia, no quería cebarme con una mirada denostativa por más que hubiera una rabia que aprecio. Esta vez mi rabia era serena. Por fin tenía la distancia –un destiempo– para iluminar ciertos pasajes de mi propia vida, para pensar mis barrios, mi ciudad, y qué significó crecer en la Lima desigual de los setentas, ochentas, noventas, dos miles, con ese mar, Dios mío, ese mar, y con padres trabajadores, anestesiados, que solo parecían tener en común tres adicciones con C: café, conflicto y cigarro, y que habían atravesado sus propios itinerarios de pérdidas, secretos y negaciones. El texto se movería entre pasado y presente, daría cuenta de las mudanzas y la migración, de la llegada a la escritura, del proceso de intentar transformar el dolor en arte. Se escribe con una mano pegada a la infancia, dice María Negroni. Supongo que por eso, a medida que avanzaba, surgieron estas primeras frases: «En 1986 yo tenía nueve años y todos los augurios se anunciaban en el cielo. Chernóbil, el Challenger, el cometa Halley, y el avión de Alitalia que debía traer a mi madre».

«Dos personas solas en una habitación no saben qué hacer», dice John Cassavetes, dice Gay Talese. Ellos me hicieron ver que suelo escribir sobre dos personas encerradas en una habitación, reaccionando a ese clima que van creando. Juntas atraviesan su extranjería, su desencaje, en una vibración que pese a todo se reconoce afectuosa. 

Quiénes somos ahora es un título sin respuesta. Afirmativo, aunque su espíritu es abierto, entre la convocatoria y el despiste. Durante su escritura el lenguaje se volvió azul. Se hizo marítimo, como las playas públicas de mi niñez que no existen más, algo del mecerse, del ir y volver, de orillarse en el silencio. 

Conversé con muertos, vivos y sobrevivientes y me dieron el tono que buscaba. Natalia Ginzburg, Vivian Gornick, Jamaica Kincaid, Erri De Luca, Tove Jansson, Marina Tsvietáieva, Anne Boyer, Joy Williams, Donald Amtrim, Martín Adán, Mary Sarton, Al Álvarez, Agota Kristof, Annie Ernaux. A todos ellos y a Alicia, la veterinaria, les agradezco por hacerme pensar mejor.

Mapa de las Lenguas es una colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura de veintiún países que comparten el idioma. Pero es, sobre todo, un itinerario de viaje por once de los libros que el año pasado tuvieron mayor trascendencia en su país de origen y que, a lo largo de 2023, recorrerán el resto del ámbito del español.

Adentrarse en la obra de estas once voces es transitar un territorio físico, tangible, pero también un espacio moral, intelectual, anímico, político y sociocultural. La lectura de un autor contemporáneo de cualquier país de habla hispana es una ventana a una forma de expresarse y escribir en español, pero también un modo de tomarle la temperatura a las preocupaciones y los anhelos de cada uno de esos lugares. 

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