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Svetlana Alexiévich: la persona es más que la guerra

«No escribo sobre la guerra, sino sobre el ser humano en la guerra. No escribo la historia de la guerra, sino la historia de los sentimientos. Soy historiadora del alma». Casi un millón de mujeres combatió en las filas del Ejército Rojo durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial. ¿Cómo les transformó esta experiencia? ¿De qué tenían miedo? ¿Cómo aprendieron a matar? En «La guerra no tiene rostro de mujer» (Debate), la premio Nobel de Literatura Svetlana Alexiévich recoge los testimonios de cientos de ellas (mujeres que fueron francotiradoras, condujeron tanques o trabajaron en hospitales de campaña), relatos que hablan de la suciedad y del frío, del hambre y de la violencia sexual, de la angustia y de la sombra omnipresente de la muerte. Las siguientes líneas son las notas que la propia Alexiévich tomó en sus diarios entre los años 1978 y 1985 para darle forma a esta obra (la cual pudo reescribir en 2002 para introducir los fragmentos censurados y material que no se había atrevido a usar en la primera versión); anotaciones que le sirvieron para reflejar una perspectiva habitualmente ignorada: la de las mujeres que combatieron en el frente ruso.

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No escribo la historia de la guerra, sino la historia de los sentimientos. Soy historiadora del alma\u00bb. Casi un mill\u00f3n de mujeres combati\u00f3 en las filas del Ej\u00e9rcito Rojo durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial. \u00bfC\u00f3mo les transform\u00f3 esta experiencia? \u00bfDe qu\u00e9 ten\u00edan miedo? \u00bfC\u00f3mo aprendieron a matar? En \u00abLa guerra no tiene rostro de mujer\u00bb (Debate), la premio Nobel de Literatura Svetlana Alexi\u00e9vich recoge los testimonios de cientos de ellas (mujeres que fueron francotiradoras, condujeron tanques o trabajaron en hospitales de campa\u00f1a), relatos que hablan de la suciedad y del fr\u00edo, del hambre y de la violencia sexual, de la angustia y de la sombra omnipresente de la muerte. Las siguientes l\u00edneas son las notas que la propia Alexi\u00e9vich tom\u00f3 en sus diarios entre los a\u00f1os 1978 y 1985 para darle forma a esta obra (la cual pudo reescribir en 2002 para introducir los fragmentos censurados y material que no se hab\u00eda atrevido a usar en la primera versi\u00f3n); anotaciones que le sirvieron para reflejar una perspectiva habitualmente ignorada: la de las mujeres que combatieron en el frente 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style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/5980-svetlana-alexievich\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Escribo sobre la guerra...<\/a> <\/span><\/p><p>Yo, la que nunca quiso leer libros sobre guerras a pesar de que en la \u00e9poca de mi infancia y juventud fueran la lectura favorita. De todos mis coet\u00e1neos. No es sorprendente: \u00e9ramos hijos de la Gran Victoria. Los hijos de los vencedores. \u00bfQue cu\u00e1l es mi primer recuerdo de la guerra? Mi angustia infantil en medio de unas palabras incomprensibles y amenazantes. La guerra siempre estuvo presente: en la escuela, en la casa, en las bodas y en los bautizos, en las fiestas y en los funerales. Incluso en las conversaciones de los ni\u00f1os. Un d\u00eda, mi vecinito me pregunt\u00f3: \u00ab\u00bfQu\u00e9 hace la gente bajo tierra? \u00bfC\u00f3mo viven all\u00ed?\u00bb. Nosotros tambi\u00e9n quer\u00edamos descifrar el misterio de la guerra.\u00a0<\/p><p>Entonces por primera vez pens\u00e9 en la muerte... Y ya nunca m\u00e1s he dejado de pensar en ella, para m\u00ed se ha convertido en el mayor misterio de la vida.\u00a0<\/p><p>Para nosotros, todo se originaba en aquel mundo terrible y enigm\u00e1tico. En nuestra familia, <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/victoria-belim-mi-ucrania-urss-euromaidan-rusia\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">el abuelo de Ucrania<\/a><\/span>, el padre de mi madre, muri\u00f3 en el frente y fue enterrado en suelo h\u00fangaro; la abuela de Bielorrusia, la madre de mi padre, muri\u00f3 de tifus en un destacamento de partisanos; de sus hijos, dos marcharon con el ej\u00e9rcito y desaparecieron en los primeros meses de guerra, el tercero fue el \u00fanico que regres\u00f3 a casa. Era mi padre. Los alemanes quemaron vivos a once de sus familiares lejanos junto a sus hijos: a unos en su casa, a otros en la iglesia de la aldea. Y as\u00ed fue en cada familia. Sin excepciones. Durante mucho tiempo jugar a \u00abalemanes y rusos\u00bb fue uno de los juegos favoritos de los ni\u00f1os de las aldeas. Gritaban en alem\u00e1n: \u00abH\u00e4nde hoch!\u00bb, \u00abZur\u00fcck!\u00bb,<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/george-orwell-mein-kampf-adolf-hitler\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00abHitler kaput!\u00bb<\/a><\/span>.\u00a0<\/p><p>No conoc\u00edamos el mundo sin guerra, el mundo de la guerra era el \u00fanico cercano, y la gente de la guerra era la \u00fanica gente que conoc\u00edamos. Hasta ahora no conozco otro mundo, ni a otra gente. \u00bfAcaso existieron alguna vez?\u00a0<br \/><br \/>***<br \/><br \/>La aldea de mi infancia era femenina. De mujeres. No recuerdo voces masculinas. Lo tengo muy presente: la guerra la relatan las mujeres. Lloran. Su canto es como el llanto.\u00a0<\/p><p>En la biblioteca escolar, la mitad de los libros era sobre la guerra. Lo mismo en la biblioteca del pueblo, y en la regional, adonde mi padre sol\u00eda ir a buscar los libros. Ahora ya s\u00e9 la respuesta a la pregunta \u00ab\u00bfpor qu\u00e9?\u00bb. No era por casualidad. Siempre hab\u00edamos estado o combatiendo o prepar\u00e1ndonos para la guerra. O record\u00e1bamos c\u00f3mo hab\u00edamos combatido. Nunca hemos vivido de otra manera, debe ser que no sabemos hacerlo. No nos imaginamos c\u00f3mo es vivir de otro modo, y nos llevar\u00e1 mucho tiempo aprenderlo.\u00a0<\/p><p>En la escuela nos ense\u00f1aban a amar la muerte. Escrib\u00edamos redacciones sobre cu\u00e1nto nos gustar\u00eda entregar la vida por... Era nuestro sue\u00f1o.\u00a0<\/p><p>Sin embargo, las voces de la calle contaban a gritos otra historia, y esa historia me resultaba muy tentadora.\u00a0<\/p><p>Durante mucho tiempo fui una chica de libros, el mundo real a la vez me atra\u00eda y me asustaba. Y en ese desconocimiento de la vida se origin\u00f3 la valent\u00eda. A veces pienso: \u00abSi yo fuera una persona m\u00e1s apegada a la vida, \u00bfme habr\u00eda atrevido a lanzarme a este pozo negro?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfMe habr\u00e1 empujado a \u00e9l mi ignorancia? \u00bfO habr\u00e1 sido el presentimiento de que este era mi camino?\u00bb. Porque siempre intuimos nuestro camino...\u00a0<\/p><p>Estuve buscando... \u00bfCon qu\u00e9 palabras se puede transmitir lo que oigo? Yo buscaba un g\u00e9nero que correspondiera a mi modo de ver el mundo, a mi mirada, a mi o\u00eddo.\u00a0<\/p><p>Un d\u00eda abr\u00ed el libro <em>Ya iz \u00f3gnennoi derevni <\/em>(Soy de la aldea en llamas), de A. Adam\u00f3vich, Y. Bril y V. Kol\u00e9snik. Solo una vez hab\u00eda experimentado una conmoci\u00f3n similar, fue al leer a Dostoievski. La forma del libro era poco convencional: la novela est\u00e1 construida a partir de las voces de la vida diaria. De lo que yo hab\u00eda o\u00eddo en mi infancia, de lo que se escucha en la calle, en casa, en una cafeter\u00eda, en un autob\u00fas. \u00a1Eso es! El c\u00edrculo se hab\u00eda cerrado. Hab\u00eda encontrado lo que estaba buscando. Lo que present\u00eda.\u00a0<\/p><p>Mi maestro es <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/es.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Al%C3%A9s_Adam%C3%B3vich\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Al\u00e9s Adam\u00f3vich...<\/a><\/span><br \/><br 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lo largo de dos a\u00f1os, m\u00e1s que hacer entrevistas y tomar notas, he estado pensando. Leyendo. \u00bfDe qu\u00e9 hablar\u00e1 mi libro? <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/literatura-contemporanea\/11646-libro-la-guerra-no-tiene-rostro-de-mujer-9788499925752\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Un libro m\u00e1s sobre la guerra... \u00bfPara qu\u00e9?<\/a><\/span> Ha habido miles de guerras, grandes y peque\u00f1as, conocidas y desconocidas. Y los libros que hablan de las guerras son incontables. Sin embargo... siempre han sido hombres escribiendo sobre hombres, eso lo veo enseguida. Todo lo que sabemos de la guerra, lo sabemos por la \u00abvoz masculina\u00bb. Todos somos prisioneros de las percepciones y sensaciones \u00abmasculinas\u00bb. De las palabras \u00abmasculinas\u00bb. Las mujeres mientras tanto guardan silencio. Es cierto, nadie le ha preguntado nada a mi abuela excepto yo. Ni a mi madre. Guardan silencio incluso las que estuvieron en la guerra. Y si de pronto se ponen a recordar, no relatan la guerra \u00abfemenina\u00bb, sino la \u00abmasculina\u00bb. Se adaptan al canon. Tan solo en casa, despu\u00e9s de verter algunas l\u00e1grimas en compa\u00f1\u00eda de sus amigas de armas, las mujeres comienzan a hablar de su guerra, de una guerra que yo desconozco. De una guerra desconocida para todos nosotros. Durante mis viajes de periodista, en muchas ocasiones, he sido la \u00fanica oyente de unas narraciones completamente nuevas. Y me quedaba asombrada, como en la infancia. En esos relatos se entreve\u00eda el tremendo rictus de lo misterioso... En lo que narran las mujeres no hay, o casi no hay, lo que estamos acostumbrados a leer y a escuchar: c\u00f3mo unas personas matan a otras de forma heroica y finalmente vencen. O c\u00f3mo son derrotadas. O qu\u00e9 t\u00e9cnica se us\u00f3 y qu\u00e9 generales hab\u00eda. Los relatos de las mujeres son diferentes y hablan de otras cosas. La guerra femenina tiene sus colores, sus olores, su iluminaci\u00f3n y su espacio. Tiene sus propias palabras. En esta guerra no hay h\u00e9roes ni haza\u00f1as incre\u00edbles, tan solo hay seres humanos involucrados en una tarea inhumana. En esta guerra no solo sufren las personas, sino la tierra, los p\u00e1jaros, los \u00e1rboles. Todos los que habitan este planeta junto a nosotros. Y sufren en silencio, lo cual es a\u00fan m\u00e1s terrible.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pero \u00bfpor qu\u00e9?, me preguntaba a menudo. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9, despu\u00e9s de haberse hecho un lugar en un mundo que era del todo masculino, las mujeres no han sido capaces de defender su historia, sus palabras, sus sentimientos? Falta de confianza. Se nos oculta un mundo entero. Su guerra sigue siendo desconocida...\u00a0<\/p><p>Yo quiero escribir la historia de esta guerra. La historia de las mujeres.<br \/><br 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los primeros encuentros...<\/p><p>La sorpresa. Las profesiones militares de las mujeres eran: instructora sanitaria, francotiradora, tirador de ametralladora, comandante de ca\u00f1\u00f3n antia\u00e9reo, zapadora... Ahora esas mismas mujeres son contables, auxiliares de laboratorio, gu\u00edas tur\u00edsticas, maestras... Los roles no coinciden. Al recordar parece que evocan a otras chicas. Recuerdan y se sorprenden de ellas mismas. Ante mis ojos veo c\u00f3mo la Historia se humaniza, se va pareciendo a la vida normal, surge una iluminaci\u00f3n diferente.\u00a0<\/p><p>Algunas de estas mujeres son narradoras extraordinarias, en sus vidas hay p\u00e1ginas capaces de competir con las mejores p\u00e1ginas de los cl\u00e1sicos de la literatura. El ser humano se ve a s\u00ed mismo con claridad desde arriba \u2014desde el cielo\u2014 y desde abajo \u2014desde la tierra\u2014. Delante est\u00e1 todo el camino hacia arriba y hacia abajo: del \u00e1ngel a la bestia. Los recuerdos no son un relato apasionado o impasible de la realidad desaparecida, son el renacimiento del pasado, cuando el tiempo vuelve a suceder. Recordar es, sobre todo, un acto creativo. Al relatar, la gente crea, redacta, su vida. A veces a\u00f1aden algunas l\u00edneas o reescriben. Entonces tengo que estar alerta. En guardia. Y al mismo tiempo, el dolor derrite cualquier nota de falsedad, la aniquila. \u00a1La temperatura es demasiado alta! He comprobado que la gente sencilla (las enfermeras, cocineras, lavanderas...) son las que se comportan con m\u00e1s sinceridad. Ellas \u2014\u00bfc\u00f3mo explicarlo bien?\u2014 extraen las palabras de su interior en vez de usar las de los rotativos o las de los libros, toman sus propias palabras en vez de coger prestadas las ajenas. Y solo a partir de sus propios sufrimientos y vivencias. Los sentimientos y el lenguaje de las personas cultas, por muy extra\u00f1o que parezca, a menudo son m\u00e1s vulnerables frente al moldeo del tiempo. Obedecen a una codificaci\u00f3n gen\u00e9rica. Est\u00e1n infectados por el conocimiento indirecto. De los mitos. A menudo se ha de recorrer un largo camino, avanzar con rodeos, para poder o\u00edr el relato de la guerra femenina y no de la masculina: c\u00f3mo retroced\u00edan, c\u00f3mo atacaban, en qu\u00e9 sector del frente... Con una entrevista no basta, hacen falta muchas. As\u00ed trabaja un retratista insistente...\u00a0<\/p><p>Paso largas jornadas en una casa o en un piso desconocidos, a veces son varios d\u00edas. Tomamos el t\u00e9, nos probamos blusas nuevas, hablamos sobre cortes de pelo y recetas de cocina. Miramos fotos de los nietos. Y entonces... Siempre transcurre un tiempo (uno nunca sabe ni cu\u00e1nto tiempo ni por qu\u00e9) y de repente surge el esperado momento en que la persona se aleja del canon, fraguado de yeso o de hormig\u00f3n armado, igual que nuestros monumentos, y se vuelve hacia su interior. Deja de recordar la guerra para recordar su juventud. Un fragmento de su vida... Hay que atrapar ese momento. \u00a1Que no se escape! A menudo, despu\u00e9s de un largo d\u00eda atiborrado de palabras, hechos y l\u00e1grimas, en tu memoria tan solo queda una frase, pero \u00a1qu\u00e9 frase!: \u00abFui al frente siendo tan peque\u00f1a que durante la guerra crec\u00ed un poco\u00bb. Es la frase que anoto en mi libreta, aunque en la grabadora haya decenas de metros de cinta. Cuatro o cinco casetes...\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfQu\u00e9 tengo a mi favor? A mi favor tengo el hecho de que estamos acostumbrados a vivir juntos. En com\u00fan. Somos gente de concilio. Lo compartimos todo: la felicidad, las l\u00e1grimas. Sabemos sufrir y contar nuestros sufrimientos. El sufrimiento justifica nuestra vida, dura y torpe. Para nosotros, el dolor es un arte. 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me reciben?\u00a0<\/p><p>Me llaman \u00abni\u00f1a\u00bb, \u00abhija\u00bb, \u00abnena\u00bb, supongo que si hubiera sido de su generaci\u00f3n se comportar\u00edan diferente. Con tranquilidad y equitativamente. Sin la alegr\u00eda y admiraci\u00f3n que acompa\u00f1an el encuentro de vejez y juventud. Es un detalle muy importante: los que recuerdan entonces eran j\u00f3venes y ahora son viejos. Recuerdan tras una vida entera, despu\u00e9s de cuarenta a\u00f1os. Me abren su mundo con cautela, como disculp\u00e1ndose: \u00abAcabada la guerra me cas\u00e9 enseguida. Me ocult\u00e9 tras la sombra de mi marido. En la sombra de lo cotidiano, de los pa\u00f1ales. Mi mam\u00e1 me ped\u00eda: \\\"\u00a1No hables! No confieses\\\". Hab\u00eda cumplido mi deber ante la Patria, pero me entristece haber estado all\u00ed. El hecho de haber conocido aquello... T\u00fa eres tan joven. Lamento tener que cont\u00e1rtelo...\u00bb. Las tengo delante, y a muchas de ellas las veo escuchando su alma. Escuchan el sonido de su alma. Lo verifican con palabras. Con los a\u00f1os, el ser humano comprende que la vida se ha quedado atr\u00e1s y que ha llegado el momento de resignarse y de prepararse para marchar. Es una pena desaparecer sin m\u00e1s. De cualquier manera. Sobre la marcha. Al mirar atr\u00e1s, uno siente el deseo de no solo contar lo suyo, sino de llegar al misterio de la vida. De responder a la pregunta: \u00bfpara qu\u00e9 ha sido todo esto? Observar el mundo con una mirada un poco de despedida, un poco triste... Casi desde otro lado... Ya no necesita enga\u00f1ar ni enga\u00f1arse. Y comprende que la visi\u00f3n del ser humano es imposible sin la noci\u00f3n de la muerte. Que el misterio de la muerte est\u00e1 por encima de todo.\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/guerra-invasion-ucrania-rusia-andrei-kurkov\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">La guerra es una vivencia demasiado \u00edntima<\/a><\/span>. E igual de infinita que la vida humana...\u00a0<\/p><p>En una ocasi\u00f3n, una mujer que hab\u00eda sido piloto de aviaci\u00f3n me neg\u00f3 la entrevista. Por tel\u00e9fono me explic\u00f3: \u00abNo puedo... No quiero recordar. Pas\u00e9 tres a\u00f1os en la guerra... Y durante esos tres a\u00f1os no me sent\u00ed mujer. Mi organismo qued\u00f3 muerto. No tuve menstruaciones, casi no sent\u00eda los deseos de una mujer. Yo era guapa... Cuando mi marido me propuso matrimonio... Fue en Berl\u00edn, al lado del Reichstag... Me dijo: \\\"La guerra se ha acabado. Estamos vivos. Hemos tenido suerte. C\u00e1sate conmigo\\\". Sent\u00ed ganas de llorar. De gritar. \u00a1De darle una bofetada! \u00bfMatrimonio? \u00bfEn ese momento? \u00bfEn medio de todo aquello me habla de matrimonio? Entre el holl\u00edn negro y los ladrillos quemados... M\u00edrame... \u00a1Mira c\u00f3mo estoy! Primero, haz que me sienta como una mujer: reg\u00e1lame flores, cort\u00e9jame, dime palabras bonitas. \u00a1Lo necesito! \u00a1Lo estoy esperando tanto!... Por poco le pego. Quise pegarle... Ten\u00eda quemaduras en una de las mejillas, estaba morada, vi que lo entendi\u00f3 todo, que las l\u00e1grimas chorreaban por esas mejillas. Por las cicatrices recientes... Y sin darme cuenta de que lo estaba haciendo, yo ya le dec\u00eda: \\\"S\u00ed, me casar\u00e9 contigo\\\".\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bbPerd\u00f3name... No puedo...\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>La comprend\u00ed. Aunque para m\u00ed esto tambi\u00e9n es una p\u00e1gina, o una media p\u00e1gina, del futuro libro.\u00a0<\/p><p>Textos. Textos. Los textos est\u00e1n en todas partes. En los apartamentos de la ciudad, en las casas del campo, en la calle, en el tren... Estoy escuchando... Cada vez me convierto m\u00e1s en una gran oreja, bien abierta, que escucha a otra persona. \u00abLeo\u00bb la voz.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"40\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"vdbnyvj\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_layout\":\"\",\"stretch_section\":\"\",\"layout\":\"boxed\",\"content_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"gap\":\"default\",\"height\":\"default\",\"custom_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":400},\"column_position\":\"middle\",\"content_position\":\"\",\"structure\":\"10\",\"section_background\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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ser humano es m\u00e1s grande que la guerra...\u00a0<\/p><p>La memoria retiene solo aquellos instantes supremos. Cuando el hombre es motivado por algo m\u00e1s grande que la Historia. He de ampliar mi visi\u00f3n: escribir la verdad sobre la vida y la muerte en general, no limitarme a la verdad sobre la guerra. Partir de la pregunta de Dostoievski: \u00bfcu\u00e1nto de humano hay en un ser humano y c\u00f3mo proteger al ser humano que hay dentro de ti? Indudablemente el mal es tentador. Y es m\u00e1s h\u00e1bil que el bien. Es atractivo. Me rehundo en el infinito mundo de la guerra, lo dem\u00e1s ha palidecido, parece m\u00e1s trivial. Un mundo grandioso y rapaz. Empiezo a entender la soledad del ser humano que vuelve de all\u00ed. Es como regresar de otro planeta o de otro universo. El que regresa posee un conocimiento que los dem\u00e1s no tienen y que solo es posible conseguir all\u00ed, cerca de la muerte. Si intenta explicar algo con palabras, la sensaci\u00f3n es catastr\u00f3fica. Pierde el don de la palabra. Quiere contar, y los dem\u00e1s quieren entender, pero se siente impotente.\u00a0<\/p><p>Siempre se encuentra en un espacio diferente. Rodeado de un mundo invisible. Como m\u00ednimo somos tres los que participamos en la conversaci\u00f3n: el que habla, la persona tal como fue en el pasado narrado y yo. Mi objetivo es conseguir la verdad de aquellos a\u00f1os. De aquellos d\u00edas. Sin que la falsedad de los sentimientos la enturbie. Inmediatamente despu\u00e9s de la guerra, la persona cuenta una guerra determinada, pero pasadas unas d\u00e9cadas es evidente que todo cambia, porque la vida del narrador se cuela entre sus recuerdos. Todo su ser. Lo que ha vivido en esos a\u00f1os, lo que ha le\u00eddo, lo que ha visto, a los que ha conocido. Y hasta su felicidad o su desgracia. \u00bfConversamos a solas o hay alguien m\u00e1s? \u00bfLa familia? \u00bfLos amigos? \u00bfQu\u00e9 amigos? Los amigos del frente son una cosa; los dem\u00e1s, otra. Los documentos son seres vivos, cambian, se tambalean junto a nosotros, son una fuente de la que siempre se puede extraer algo m\u00e1s. Algo nuevo y necesario justo ahora. En este preciso instante. \u00bfQu\u00e9 estamos buscando? No buscamos las haza\u00f1as y los actos heroicos, sino lo sencillo y humano, lo que sentimos m\u00e1s cercano. Por decir algo, \u00bfqu\u00e9 es lo que m\u00e1s me gustar\u00eda saber sobre la Grecia antigua? \u00bfY de la historia de Esparta? Me gustar\u00eda leer de qu\u00e9 hablaba la gente en sus casas. C\u00f3mo se marchaban a la guerra. Qu\u00e9 palabras dec\u00edan el \u00faltimo d\u00eda y la \u00faltima noche a sus amados. C\u00f3mo se desped\u00eda a los guerreros. C\u00f3mo esperaban que volvieran de la guerra... No a los h\u00e9roes y a los comandantes, sino a los j\u00f3venes sencillos...\u00a0<\/p><p>La Historia a trav\u00e9s de las voces de testigos humildes y participantes sencillos, an\u00f3nimos. S\u00ed, eso es lo que me interesa, lo que quisiera transformar en literatura. Pero los narradores no solo son testigos; son actores y creadores, y, en \u00faltimo lugar, testigos. Es imposible afrontar la realidad de lleno, cara a cara. Entre la realidad y nosotros est\u00e1n nuestros sentimientos. Me doy cuenta de que trato con versiones, de que cada uno me ofrece la suya. De c\u00f3mo se mezclan y entrecruzan nace el reflejo de un tiempo y de las personas que lo habitan. De mi libro no me gustar\u00eda que dijeran: \u00abSus personajes son reales, y eso es todo\u00bb. Que no es m\u00e1s que historia. Simplemente historia.\u00a0<\/p><p>No escribo sobre la guerra, sino sobre el ser humano en la guerra. No escribo la historia de la guerra, sino la historia de los sentimientos. Soy historiadora del alma. Por un lado, estudio a la persona concreta que ha vivido en una \u00e9poca concreta y ha participado en unos acontecimientos concretos; por otro lado, quiero discernir en esa persona al ser humano eterno. La vibraci\u00f3n de la eternidad. Lo que en \u00e9l hay de inmutable.\u00a0<\/p><p>Me dicen: \u00abBueno, los recuerdos no son historia y tampoco son literatura\u00bb. Simplemente son la vida, llena de polvo y sin el retoque limpiador de la mano del artista. Una conversaci\u00f3n cualquiera est\u00e1 repleta de materia prima. Son los ladrillos, que est\u00e1n por todas partes. Pero \u00a1los ladrillos y el templo son cosas distintas! Yo lo veo diferente... Es justo ah\u00ed, en la calidez de la voz humana, en el vivo reflejo del pasado, donde se ocultan la alegr\u00eda original y la invencible tragedia de la existencia. Su caos y su pasi\u00f3n. Su car\u00e1cter \u00fanico e inescrutable. En su estado puro, anterior a cualquier tratamiento. Los originales.\u00a0<\/p><p>Construyo los templos de nuestros sentimientos... De nuestros deseos, de los desenga\u00f1os. Sue\u00f1os. De todo lo que ha existido pero puede 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vez m\u00e1s... Me interesa no solamente la realidad que nos rodea, sino tambi\u00e9n la que est\u00e1 en nuestro interior. Lo que m\u00e1s me interesa no es el suceso en s\u00ed, sino el suceso de los sentimientos. Digamos, el alma de los sucesos. Para m\u00ed, los sentimientos son la realidad.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfY la historia? Est\u00e1 all\u00ed, fuera. Entre la multitud. Creo que en cada uno de nosotros hay un pedacito de historia. Uno posee media p\u00e1gina; otro, dos o tres. Juntos escribimos el libro del tiempo. Cada uno cuenta a gritos su propia verdad. La pesadilla de los matices. Es preciso o\u00edrlo todo y diluirse en todo, transformarse en todo esto. Y al mismo tiempo, no perderse. Fundir el habla de la calle y de la literatura. La dificultad adicional es que hablamos del pasado con el lenguaje de hoy. \u00bfC\u00f3mo se podr\u00e1n transmitir los sentimientos de entonces?\u00a0<br \/><br \/>*** <br \/><br \/>Es por la ma\u00f1ana y suena el tel\u00e9fono: \u00abNo nos conocemos... He venido de Crimea, la llamo desde la estaci\u00f3n de ferrocarril. \u00bfEst\u00e1 lejos de su casa? Quiero contarle mi guerra...\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a1Ostras!\u00a0<\/p><p>Ten\u00eda planes para ir con mi hija al parque. A montar en el tiovivo. \u00bfC\u00f3mo le explico a una criatura de seis a\u00f1os lo que estoy haciendo? Hace poco me pregunt\u00f3: \u00ab\u00bfQu\u00e9 es una guerra?\u00bb. \u00bfC\u00f3mo responderle?... Quiero que entre en el mundo con el coraz\u00f3n tierno, le explico que no se puede arrancar una flor tal cual, por las buenas. Que da pena aplastar a una mosca o quitarle un ala a una lib\u00e9lula. Entonces \u00bfc\u00f3mo explicarle la guerra a un ser peque\u00f1o? \u00bfC\u00f3mo explicarle la muerte? \u00bfC\u00f3mo responder por qu\u00e9 unas personas matan a otras? Matan incluso a ni\u00f1os tan peque\u00f1os como ella. Nosotros, los adultos, formamos una especie de complot. \u00bfY los ni\u00f1os qu\u00e9? Despu\u00e9s de la guerra mis padres lograron explic\u00e1rmelo a m\u00ed, pero yo ya no soy capaz de hacer lo mismo con mi hija. No encuentro las palabras. Cada vez la guerra nos gusta menos, nos cuesta m\u00e1s justificarla. Para nosotros ya es el asesinato, nada m\u00e1s. Al menos para m\u00ed lo es.\u00a0<\/p><p>No estar\u00eda mal escribir un libro sobre la guerra que provocara n\u00e1useas, que lograra que la sola idea de la guerra diera asco. Que pareciera de locos. Que hiciera vomitar a los generales...\u00a0<\/p><p>Esta l\u00f3gica \u00abde mujeres\u00bb deja at\u00f3nitos a mis amigos (a diferencia de mis amigas). Y vuelvo a o\u00edr el argumento \u00abmasculino\u00bb: \u00abT\u00fa no has participado en ninguna guerra\u00bb. Pero tal vez es lo mejor: no conozco la pasi\u00f3n del odio, tengo una visi\u00f3n neutral. No de militar, no de hombre.<\/p><p>En \u00f3ptica existe el concepto de luminosidad: es la capacidad del objetivo de fijar mejor o peor la imagen captada. En cuanto a la intensidad de los sentimientos, de la percepci\u00f3n del dolor, la memoria b\u00e9lica de las mujeres posee una \u00abluminosidad\u00bb extraordinaria. Dir\u00eda incluso que la guerra femenina es m\u00e1s terrible que la masculina. Los hombres se ocultan detr\u00e1s de la Historia, detr\u00e1s de los hechos; la guerra los seduce con su acci\u00f3n, con el enfrentamiento de las ideas, de los intereses... mientras que las mujeres est\u00e1n a expensas de los sentimientos. Y otra cosa: a los hombres desde que son ni\u00f1os se les dice que tal vez, de mayores, tendr\u00e1n que disparar. Nadie les ense\u00f1a eso a las mujeres... Ellas no contaban con que tendr\u00edan que hacer ese trabajo... Sus recuerdos son distintos, su forma de recordar es distinta. Son capaces de ver aquello que para los hombres est\u00e1 oculto. Repito: su guerra tiene olores, colores, tiene un detallado universo existencial: \u00abNos dieron los macutos y los usamos para cosernos unas falditas\u00bb; \u00abEn la oficina de reclutamiento, entr\u00e9 por una puerta llevando un vestido y sal\u00ed por otra llevando un pantal\u00f3n y una camisa militar, me cortaron la trenza y no me dejaron m\u00e1s que un flequillo\u00bb; \u00abLos alemanes acribillaron a tiros toda la aldea y despu\u00e9s se largaron... Nos acercamos al lugar desde donde lo hab\u00edan hecho: la arena amarilla bien pisoteada, sobre ella hab\u00eda un zapato de ni\u00f1o...\u00bb. En m\u00e1s de una ocasi\u00f3n me lo han advertido (sobre todo escritores hombres): \u00abLas mujeres inventan\u00bb. Sin embargo, lo he comprobado: eso no se puede inventar. \u00bfCopiado de alg\u00fan libro? Solo se puede copiar de la vida, solo la vida real tiene tanta fantas\u00eda.<\/p><p>Las mujeres, hablen de lo que hablen, siempre tienen presente la misma idea: la guerra es ante todo un asesinato y, adem\u00e1s, un duro trabajo. Por \u00faltimo, tambi\u00e9n est\u00e1 la vida cotidiana: cantaban, se enamoraban, se colocaban los bigud\u00edes...\u00a0<\/p><p>En el centro siempre est\u00e1 la insufrible idea de la muerte, nadie quiere morir. Y a\u00fan m\u00e1s insoportable es tener que matar, porque la mujer da la vida. La regala. La lleva dentro durante un largo tiempo, la cuida. He comprendido que para una mujer matar es mucho m\u00e1s 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Cr\u00e9dito: Getty Images.\",\"link_to\":\"none\",\"link\":{\"is_external\":\"\",\"url\":\"\"},\"view\":\"traditional\",\"section_style_image\":\"\",\"space\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"opacity\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":1},\"hover_animation\":\"\",\"image_border_border\":\"\",\"image_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"image_border_color\":\"\",\"image_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"image_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"image_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"image\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"o1smahb\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p style=\\\"text-align: right;\\\"><span style=\\\"text-align: right;\\\">Junio de 1942. Mientras las fuerzas alemanas intensificaban el asedio de Sebastopol, miles de mujeres rusas completaban su entrenamiento militar para ser llamadas por el servicio en unidades regulares y de guerrilla. En la imagen, varias voluntarias empu\u00f1an la Tommy-gun en defensa de su pa\u00eds. Cr\u00e9dito: Getty 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hombres... Permiten con desgana que las mujeres entren en su mundo, en su territorio.\u00a0<\/p><p>Estuve buscando, en la planta de producci\u00f3n de tractores de Minsk, a una mujer que hab\u00eda sido francotiradora. Una francotiradora famosa. Los rotativos del frente le dedicaron varios art\u00edculos. Sus amigas de Mosc\u00fa me dieron el n\u00famero de tel\u00e9fono de su casa, pero era uno antiguo. El apellido que yo ten\u00eda apuntado era el de soltera. Fui a la administraci\u00f3n de la f\u00e1brica donde, seg\u00fan mis datos, ella estaba empleada. Ellos (el director de la planta y el jefe de la administraci\u00f3n) me dijeron: \u00ab\u00bfNo le basta con los hombres? \u00bfPara qu\u00e9 quiere todas esas historias de mujeres? Esas fantas\u00edas femeninas...\u00bb. Los hombres tem\u00edan que las mujeres contaran otra guerra, una guerra distinta.\u00a0<\/p><p>Visit\u00e9 a una familia... Los dos hab\u00edan combatido, el marido y la mujer. Se conocieron en el frente y se casaron: \u00abCelebramos la boda en las trincheras. La v\u00edspera del combate. Me apa\u00f1\u00e9 un vestido blanco con la tela de un paraca\u00eddas alem\u00e1n\u00bb. \u00c9l era tirador de ametralladora, ella hac\u00eda de enlace. El hombre, sin rodeos, envi\u00f3 a la mujer a la cocina: \u00ab\u00bfNos preparas algo?\u00bb. Una vez servidos el t\u00e9 y los bocadillos, ella se sent\u00f3 con nosotros, y el marido enseguida la hizo volver a levantarse: \u00ab\u00bfY las fresas? \u00bfD\u00f3nde est\u00e1 el tesoro de nuestros campos?\u00bb. Tuve que insistir, pero el marido finalmente le cedi\u00f3 su sitio a la mujer. Antes de irse le record\u00f3: \u00abCu\u00e9ntalo tal como te he ense\u00f1ado. Sin l\u00e1grimas y nader\u00edas de mujeres: \\\"Yo quer\u00eda ser guapa... Llor\u00e9 cuando me cortaron la trenza...\\\"\u00bb. M\u00e1s tarde, en susurros, ella me confes\u00f3: \u00abSe ha pasado toda la noche haci\u00e9ndome estudiar el volumen de <em>La historia de la Gran Guerra Patria.<\/em> Se preocupa por m\u00ed. Y ahora seguro que est\u00e1 sufriendo porque sabe que acabar\u00e9 recordando algo que no debo\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>Esto mismo ha ocurrido m\u00e1s de una vez, en m\u00e1s de una casa.\u00a0<\/p><p>S\u00ed, ellas lloran, mucho. Gritan. Y cuando me voy se tienen que tomar las pastillas para el coraz\u00f3n. Llaman a urgencias. Y, sin embargo, contin\u00faan pidi\u00e9ndome: \u00abVen. Ven, por favor. Llevamos tanto tiempo calladas. Cuarenta a\u00f1os con la boca cerrada...\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>Soy consciente de que no deben redactarse el llanto ni los gritos, una vez redactados perder\u00e1n importancia; la versi\u00f3n escrita saltar\u00e1 al primer plano y la literatura sustituir\u00e1 la vida. As\u00ed es este material, la temperatura de este material. Supera los l\u00edmites. En la guerra, el ser humano est\u00e1 a la vista, se abre m\u00e1s que en cualquier otra situaci\u00f3n, tal vez el amor ser\u00eda comparable. Se descubre hasta lo m\u00e1s profundo, hasta las capas subcut\u00e1neas. Las ideas palidecen ante el rostro de la guerra, y se destapa esa eternidad inconcebible que nadie est\u00e1 preparado para afrontar. Vivimos en un marco hist\u00f3rico, no c\u00f3smico.\u00a0<\/p><p>En ocasiones me devolv\u00edan el texto que yo les enviaba para que leyeran, con una nota: \u00abNo hables de las peque\u00f1eces... Escribe sobre nuestra Gran Victoria...\u00bb. Pero las \u00abpeque\u00f1eces\u00bb son para m\u00ed lo m\u00e1s importante, son la calidez y la claridad de la vida: el flequillo que dejan tras cortar la trenza, las ollas de campa\u00f1a llenas de sopa y gachas humeantes que nadie comer\u00e1 porque de las cien personas que fueron a combate solo han regresado siete; o, por ejemplo, lo insoportable que fue para todos, despu\u00e9s de la guerra, pasar por el mercado y ver las tablas de los carniceros te\u00f1idas de rojo... Incluso aquel pa\u00f1o rojo... \u00abCari\u00f1o, han pasado cuarenta a\u00f1os, pero en mi casa no encontrar\u00e1s nada de color rojo. \u00a1Desde la guerra, odio el 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eran: <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/igort-cuadernos-ucranianos-y-rusos-salamandra\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">rusos o sovi\u00e9ticos<\/a><\/span>? No, no, eran sovi\u00e9ticos: los rusos, los bielorrusos, los ucranianos, los tadzhik...\u00a0<\/p><p>De veras existi\u00f3 ese hombre sovi\u00e9tico. Creo que ya no habr\u00e1 ninguno m\u00e1s de su especie, y ellos lo saben. Incluso nosotros, sus hijos, somos distintos. Queremos ser como todos los dem\u00e1s. Parecernos al mundo, no a nuestros padres. Y ya no hablemos de los nietos...\u00a0<\/p><p>Pero yo les quiero. Les admiro. <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/sofi-oksanen-putin-stalin-rusia-finlandia-el-parque-de-los-perros\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">En sus vidas hubo Stalin, hubo Gulag y tambi\u00e9n hubo Victoria<\/a><\/span>. Ellos lo saben.\u00a0<\/p><p>Hace poco me ha llegado una carta:\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00abMi hija me quiere mucho, para ella soy una hero\u00edna, leer su libro le dar\u00e1 un gran disgusto. La suciedad, los par\u00e1sitos, la sangre infinita: todo eso es verdad. No lo niego. Pero \u00bfacaso el recuerdo de todo aquello es capaz de originar los sentimientos m\u00e1s nobles? \u00bfPrepararnos para un acto de valent\u00eda?...\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>Lo he comprobado muchas veces:\u00a0<\/p><p>... nuestra memoria no es un instrumento ideal. No solo es aleatoria y caprichosa, sino que adem\u00e1s arrastra las ataduras del tiempo.\u00a0<\/p><p>... miramos al pasado desde el presente, el punto desde el que observamos no puede estar en medio de la nada.\u00a0<\/p><p>... y adem\u00e1s est\u00e1n enamoradas de todo lo que les pas\u00f3, porque para ellas no solamente es la guerra, tambi\u00e9n es su juventud. 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Tercer frente bielorruso, Segunda Guerra Mundial. Un grupo de francotiradoras del Ej\u00e9rcito Rojo, las cuales han acabado con la vida de unos 2.000 alemanes, inspeccionan una peque\u00f1a ciudad en el este de Prusia que ha sido tomada por el ej\u00e9rcito sovi\u00e9tico. 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escucho cuando hablan... Las escucho cuando est\u00e1n en silencio... Para m\u00ed, tanto las palabras como el silencio son el texto.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Esto no es para que lo publiques, es solo para ti... Los adultos... En el tren, siempre iban pensativos... Tristes. Recuerdo una noche, mientras los dem\u00e1s dorm\u00edan, en que un hombre me habl\u00f3 de Stalin. Hab\u00eda bebido y se arm\u00f3 de valor, me confes\u00f3 que su padre llevaba diez a\u00f1os en un campo de trabajos forzados, incomunicado. No se sab\u00eda si estaba vivo o muerto. El hombre pronunci\u00f3 unas palabras terribles: \u00abYo quiero defender a mi Patria, pero no quiero defender <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/anne-applebaum-ucrania-entre-este-y-oeste\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">a ese traidor de la Revoluci\u00f3n, a ese Stalin<\/a><\/span>\u00bb. Yo nunca hab\u00eda o\u00eddo nada similar... Me asust\u00e9. Por suerte, por la ma\u00f1ana ya no estaba. Se habr\u00eda bajado del tren...\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Te cuento un secreto... Yo ten\u00eda una amiga, se llamaba Oksana, era de Ucrania. Fue por ella por quien supe por primera vez de la tremenda hambruna en Ucrania. No se ve\u00eda ni un rat\u00f3n, ni una rana: se los hab\u00edan comido todos. En su aldea murieron la mitad de los habitantes. Murieron todos sus hermanos peque\u00f1os y sus padres, ella se salv\u00f3 porque cada noche robaba esti\u00e9rcol de caballo de los establos del <em>kolj\u00f3s*<\/em> y se lo com\u00eda. Nadie m\u00e1s pudo com\u00e9rselo, excepto ella: \u00abSi est\u00e1 templado, no te entra en la boca, pero fr\u00edo es comestible. Y mejor si est\u00e1 congelado, huele a hierbas secas\u00bb. Yo le dec\u00eda: \u00abOksana, el camarada Stalin lucha. Aniquila a los malvados. Pero ellos son muchos\u00bb. \u00abNo \u2014me respond\u00eda\u2014, eres tonta. Mi padre ense\u00f1aba Historia en la escuela y me dec\u00eda: \\\"Un d\u00eda el camarada Stalin pagar\u00e1 por sus cr\u00edmenes...\\\".\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bbDe noche yo pensaba: \\\"\u00bfY si Oksana es el enemigo? \u00bfY si es una esp\u00eda? \u00bfQu\u00e9 he de hacer?\\\". Dos d\u00edas m\u00e1s tarde muri\u00f3 en combate. No quedaba nadie vivo de su familia, no hubo ad\u00f3nde enviar el aviso...\u00bb\u00a0<\/p><p>Rara vez tocan este tema y, cuando lo hacen, es con extrema cautela. Siguen paralizados por la hipnosis de Stalin, por el miedo, y por su fe. No han logrado a\u00fan dejar de amar lo que tanto hab\u00edan amado. El valor en la guerra y el valor en el pensamiento son dos valores diferentes. Yo cre\u00eda que eran lo mismo.<br \/><br \/><\/p><p><em>* Kolj\u00f3s:<\/em> econom\u00eda colectiva o granja colectiva en la Uni\u00f3n Sovi\u00e9tica. Despu\u00e9s de la Revoluci\u00f3n rusa de 1917 fue la principal forma de la econom\u00eda agr\u00edcola. Una vez expropiados, los terrenos pasaron a ser propiedad del Estado. Los campesinos eran trabajadores asalariados reunidos forzosamente en las granjas colectivas. (N. de las 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En la ciudad de Nikolaev en el d\u00eda de la liberaci\u00f3n, una mujer quita el cartel con el nombre de Adolf Hitler. 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Cr\u00e9dito: Getty 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manuscrito lleva mucho tiempo sobre la mesa...\u00a0<\/p><p>Llevo dos a\u00f1os recibiendo cartas de rechazo de las editoriales. Las revistas guardan silencio. <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">El veredicto siempre es el mismo: es una guerra demasiado espantosa<\/a><\/span>. El horror sobra. Sobra naturalismo. No se percibe el papel dominante y dirigente del Partido Comunista. En resumen, no es una guerra correcta... \u00bfY c\u00f3mo es entonces la correcta? \u00bfCon los generales y el sabio general\u00edsimo? \u00bfSin la sangre y los par\u00e1sitos? Con los h\u00e9roes y los actos de valent\u00eda. Sin embargo, lo que yo recuerdo de ni\u00f1a es: iba caminando con mi abuela a trav\u00e9s de un inmenso campo, y ella me cuenta: \u00abEn este campo, despu\u00e9s de la guerra, durante mucho tiempo no creci\u00f3 nada. Los alemanes se hab\u00edan retirado ya... En este lugar hubo un combate, lucharon durante dos d\u00edas... Los muertos yac\u00edan uno junto al otro, como gavillas. Como las traviesas de una l\u00ednea de ferrocarril. Los alemanes y los nuestros. Tras la lluvia, sus caras quedaron llorosas. Tardamos un mes en enterrarlos a todos...\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfAcaso puedo olvidarme de aquel campo?\u00a0<\/p><p>No me limito a apuntar. Recojo y sigo la pista del esp\u00edritu humano all\u00ed donde el sufrimiento transforma al hombre peque\u00f1o en un gran hombre. Donde el ser humano crece. Para m\u00ed, este ser ya no es el proletariado mudo de la Historia, que desaparece sin dejar huella. Veo su alma. Entonces \u00bfen qu\u00e9 consiste mi conflicto con el poder? Ya lo he descubierto: las grandes ideas necesitan hombres peque\u00f1os, no les interesan los grandes hombres. Un gran hombre es excesivo e inc\u00f3modo. Es dif\u00edcil de moldear. Yo en cambio busco al peque\u00f1o gran hombre. Ultrajado, pisoteado, humillado, aquel que dej\u00f3 atr\u00e1s los campos de Stalin y las traiciones, y sali\u00f3 ganador. 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contar\u00e1.<em><\/em><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"pdex19c\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><strong>OTROS\u00a0CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/las-rosas-de-orwell-rebecca-solnit-stalin\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Rebecca Solnit: Ucrania, Putin y los limones de Stalin<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/sofi-oksanen-putin-stalin-rusia-finlandia-el-parque-de-los-perros\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">De Stalin a Putin: Finlandia y la sonrisa del tirano<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/igort-cuadernos-ucranianos-y-rusos-salamandra\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Igort: el dibujante de la sombra rusa<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/orlando-figes-sobre-la-rusia-de-putin-esto-es-una-guerra-imperial\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Orlando Figes sobre la Rusia de Putin: \u00abEsto es una guerra imperial\u00bb<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/chernobil-svetlana-alexievich-carmen-de-la-cueva\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">La casa muerta: regreso a Chern\u00f3bil<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/la-invasion-rusa\/victoria-belim-mi-ucrania-urss-euromaidan-rusia\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">De la URSS al Euromaid\u00e1n: Ucrania en el abismo 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20 minutos
Svetlana Alexiévich en una foto de 2015, año en que ganó el premio Nobel de Literatura. Crédito: Getty Images.

Svetlana Alexiévich en una foto de 2015, año en que ganó el premio Nobel de Literatura. Crédito: Getty Images.

Escribo sobre la guerra...

Yo, la que nunca quiso leer libros sobre guerras a pesar de que en la época de mi infancia y juventud fueran la lectura favorita. De todos mis coetáneos. No es sorprendente: éramos hijos de la Gran Victoria. Los hijos de los vencedores. ¿Que cuál es mi primer recuerdo de la guerra? Mi angustia infantil en medio de unas palabras incomprensibles y amenazantes. La guerra siempre estuvo presente: en la escuela, en la casa, en las bodas y en los bautizos, en las fiestas y en los funerales. Incluso en las conversaciones de los niños. Un día, mi vecinito me preguntó: «¿Qué hace la gente bajo tierra? ¿Cómo viven allí?». Nosotros también queríamos descifrar el misterio de la guerra. 

Entonces por primera vez pensé en la muerte... Y ya nunca más he dejado de pensar en ella, para mí se ha convertido en el mayor misterio de la vida. 

Para nosotros, todo se originaba en aquel mundo terrible y enigmático. En nuestra familia, el abuelo de Ucrania, el padre de mi madre, murió en el frente y fue enterrado en suelo húngaro; la abuela de Bielorrusia, la madre de mi padre, murió de tifus en un destacamento de partisanos; de sus hijos, dos marcharon con el ejército y desaparecieron en los primeros meses de guerra, el tercero fue el único que regresó a casa. Era mi padre. Los alemanes quemaron vivos a once de sus familiares lejanos junto a sus hijos: a unos en su casa, a otros en la iglesia de la aldea. Y así fue en cada familia. Sin excepciones. Durante mucho tiempo jugar a «alemanes y rusos» fue uno de los juegos favoritos de los niños de las aldeas. Gritaban en alemán: «Hände hoch!», «Zurück!»,«Hitler kaput!»

No conocíamos el mundo sin guerra, el mundo de la guerra era el único cercano, y la gente de la guerra era la única gente que conocíamos. Hasta ahora no conozco otro mundo, ni a otra gente. ¿Acaso existieron alguna vez? 

***

La aldea de mi infancia era femenina. De mujeres. No recuerdo voces masculinas. Lo tengo muy presente: la guerra la relatan las mujeres. Lloran. Su canto es como el llanto. 

En la biblioteca escolar, la mitad de los libros era sobre la guerra. Lo mismo en la biblioteca del pueblo, y en la regional, adonde mi padre solía ir a buscar los libros. Ahora ya sé la respuesta a la pregunta «¿por qué?». No era por casualidad. Siempre habíamos estado o combatiendo o preparándonos para la guerra. O recordábamos cómo habíamos combatido. Nunca hemos vivido de otra manera, debe ser que no sabemos hacerlo. No nos imaginamos cómo es vivir de otro modo, y nos llevará mucho tiempo aprenderlo. 

En la escuela nos enseñaban a amar la muerte. Escribíamos redacciones sobre cuánto nos gustaría entregar la vida por... Era nuestro sueño. 

Sin embargo, las voces de la calle contaban a gritos otra historia, y esa historia me resultaba muy tentadora. 

Durante mucho tiempo fui una chica de libros, el mundo real a la vez me atraía y me asustaba. Y en ese desconocimiento de la vida se originó la valentía. A veces pienso: «Si yo fuera una persona más apegada a la vida, ¿me habría atrevido a lanzarme a este pozo negro? 

¿Me habrá empujado a él mi ignorancia? ¿O habrá sido el presentimiento de que este era mi camino?». Porque siempre intuimos nuestro camino... 

Estuve buscando... ¿Con qué palabras se puede transmitir lo que oigo? Yo buscaba un género que correspondiera a mi modo de ver el mundo, a mi mirada, a mi oído. 

Un día abrí el libro Ya iz ógnennoi derevni (Soy de la aldea en llamas), de A. Adamóvich, Y. Bril y V. Kolésnik. Solo una vez había experimentado una conmoción similar, fue al leer a Dostoievski. La forma del libro era poco convencional: la novela está construida a partir de las voces de la vida diaria. De lo que yo había oído en mi infancia, de lo que se escucha en la calle, en casa, en una cafetería, en un autobús. ¡Eso es! El círculo se había cerrado. Había encontrado lo que estaba buscando. Lo que presentía. 

Mi maestro es Alés Adamóvich...

***

A lo largo de dos años, más que hacer entrevistas y tomar notas, he estado pensando. Leyendo. ¿De qué hablará mi libro? Un libro más sobre la guerra... ¿Para qué? Ha habido miles de guerras, grandes y pequeñas, conocidas y desconocidas. Y los libros que hablan de las guerras son incontables. Sin embargo... siempre han sido hombres escribiendo sobre hombres, eso lo veo enseguida. Todo lo que sabemos de la guerra, lo sabemos por la «voz masculina». Todos somos prisioneros de las percepciones y sensaciones «masculinas». De las palabras «masculinas». Las mujeres mientras tanto guardan silencio. Es cierto, nadie le ha preguntado nada a mi abuela excepto yo. Ni a mi madre. Guardan silencio incluso las que estuvieron en la guerra. Y si de pronto se ponen a recordar, no relatan la guerra «femenina», sino la «masculina». Se adaptan al canon. Tan solo en casa, después de verter algunas lágrimas en compañía de sus amigas de armas, las mujeres comienzan a hablar de su guerra, de una guerra que yo desconozco. De una guerra desconocida para todos nosotros. Durante mis viajes de periodista, en muchas ocasiones, he sido la única oyente de unas narraciones completamente nuevas. Y me quedaba asombrada, como en la infancia. En esos relatos se entreveía el tremendo rictus de lo misterioso... En lo que narran las mujeres no hay, o casi no hay, lo que estamos acostumbrados a leer y a escuchar: cómo unas personas matan a otras de forma heroica y finalmente vencen. O cómo son derrotadas. O qué técnica se usó y qué generales había. Los relatos de las mujeres son diferentes y hablan de otras cosas. La guerra femenina tiene sus colores, sus olores, su iluminación y su espacio. Tiene sus propias palabras. En esta guerra no hay héroes ni hazañas increíbles, tan solo hay seres humanos involucrados en una tarea inhumana. En esta guerra no solo sufren las personas, sino la tierra, los pájaros, los árboles. Todos los que habitan este planeta junto a nosotros. Y sufren en silencio, lo cual es aún más terrible. 

Pero ¿por qué?, me preguntaba a menudo. ¿Por qué, después de haberse hecho un lugar en un mundo que era del todo masculino, las mujeres no han sido capaces de defender su historia, sus palabras, sus sentimientos? Falta de confianza. Se nos oculta un mundo entero. Su guerra sigue siendo desconocida... 

Yo quiero escribir la historia de esta guerra. La historia de las mujeres.

***

Tras los primeros encuentros...

La sorpresa. Las profesiones militares de las mujeres eran: instructora sanitaria, francotiradora, tirador de ametralladora, comandante de cañón antiaéreo, zapadora... Ahora esas mismas mujeres son contables, auxiliares de laboratorio, guías turísticas, maestras... Los roles no coinciden. Al recordar parece que evocan a otras chicas. Recuerdan y se sorprenden de ellas mismas. Ante mis ojos veo cómo la Historia se humaniza, se va pareciendo a la vida normal, surge una iluminación diferente. 

Algunas de estas mujeres son narradoras extraordinarias, en sus vidas hay páginas capaces de competir con las mejores páginas de los clásicos de la literatura. El ser humano se ve a sí mismo con claridad desde arriba —desde el cielo— y desde abajo —desde la tierra—. Delante está todo el camino hacia arriba y hacia abajo: del ángel a la bestia. Los recuerdos no son un relato apasionado o impasible de la realidad desaparecida, son el renacimiento del pasado, cuando el tiempo vuelve a suceder. Recordar es, sobre todo, un acto creativo. Al relatar, la gente crea, redacta, su vida. A veces añaden algunas líneas o reescriben. Entonces tengo que estar alerta. En guardia. Y al mismo tiempo, el dolor derrite cualquier nota de falsedad, la aniquila. ¡La temperatura es demasiado alta! He comprobado que la gente sencilla (las enfermeras, cocineras, lavanderas...) son las que se comportan con más sinceridad. Ellas —¿cómo explicarlo bien?— extraen las palabras de su interior en vez de usar las de los rotativos o las de los libros, toman sus propias palabras en vez de coger prestadas las ajenas. Y solo a partir de sus propios sufrimientos y vivencias. Los sentimientos y el lenguaje de las personas cultas, por muy extraño que parezca, a menudo son más vulnerables frente al moldeo del tiempo. Obedecen a una codificación genérica. Están infectados por el conocimiento indirecto. De los mitos. A menudo se ha de recorrer un largo camino, avanzar con rodeos, para poder oír el relato de la guerra femenina y no de la masculina: cómo retrocedían, cómo atacaban, en qué sector del frente... Con una entrevista no basta, hacen falta muchas. Así trabaja un retratista insistente... 

Paso largas jornadas en una casa o en un piso desconocidos, a veces son varios días. Tomamos el té, nos probamos blusas nuevas, hablamos sobre cortes de pelo y recetas de cocina. Miramos fotos de los nietos. Y entonces... Siempre transcurre un tiempo (uno nunca sabe ni cuánto tiempo ni por qué) y de repente surge el esperado momento en que la persona se aleja del canon, fraguado de yeso o de hormigón armado, igual que nuestros monumentos, y se vuelve hacia su interior. Deja de recordar la guerra para recordar su juventud. Un fragmento de su vida... Hay que atrapar ese momento. ¡Que no se escape! A menudo, después de un largo día atiborrado de palabras, hechos y lágrimas, en tu memoria tan solo queda una frase, pero ¡qué frase!: «Fui al frente siendo tan pequeña que durante la guerra crecí un poco». Es la frase que anoto en mi libreta, aunque en la grabadora haya decenas de metros de cinta. Cuatro o cinco casetes... 

¿Qué tengo a mi favor? A mi favor tengo el hecho de que estamos acostumbrados a vivir juntos. En común. Somos gente de concilio. Lo compartimos todo: la felicidad, las lágrimas. Sabemos sufrir y contar nuestros sufrimientos. El sufrimiento justifica nuestra vida, dura y torpe. Para nosotros, el dolor es un arte. He de reconocer que las mujeres se enfrentan a este camino con valor. 

Primeras mujeres en el campo de batalla: el 7 de noviembre de 1917, el gobierno provisional en Rusia fue derrocado por el movimiento bolchevique, llevando al poder a Vladimir Lenin y León Trotsky. Lenin firmó un tratado de paz con Alemania, sacando a Rusia de la Primera Guerra Mundial. Sin embargo, el Ejército Rojo todavía tenía cuentas que saldar entre trincheras. El Batallón de la Muerte fue uno de los varios batallones femeninos que lucharon durante los años de la Revolución Rusa. Mujeres como las de la imagen se alistaban por el futuro de su patria... con una condición: tenían que afeitarse la cabeza para poder luchar en el frente. Crédito: Getty Images.

Primeras mujeres en el campo de batalla: el 7 de noviembre de 1917, el gobierno provisional en Rusia fue derrocado por el movimiento bolchevique, llevando al poder a Vladimir Lenin y León Trotsky. Lenin firmó un tratado de paz con Alemania, sacando a Rusia de la Primera Guerra Mundial. Sin embargo, el Ejército Rojo todavía tenía cuentas que saldar entre trincheras. El Batallón de la Muerte fue uno de los varios batallones femeninos que lucharon durante los años de la Revolución Rusa. Mujeres como las de la imagen se alistaban por el futuro de su patria... con una condición: tenían que afeitarse la cabeza para poder luchar en el frente. Crédito: Getty Images.

¿Cómo me reciben? 

Me llaman «niña», «hija», «nena», supongo que si hubiera sido de su generación se comportarían diferente. Con tranquilidad y equitativamente. Sin la alegría y admiración que acompañan el encuentro de vejez y juventud. Es un detalle muy importante: los que recuerdan entonces eran jóvenes y ahora son viejos. Recuerdan tras una vida entera, después de cuarenta años. Me abren su mundo con cautela, como disculpándose: «Acabada la guerra me casé enseguida. Me oculté tras la sombra de mi marido. En la sombra de lo cotidiano, de los pañales. Mi mamá me pedía: "¡No hables! No confieses". Había cumplido mi deber ante la Patria, pero me entristece haber estado allí. El hecho de haber conocido aquello... Tú eres tan joven. Lamento tener que contártelo...». Las tengo delante, y a muchas de ellas las veo escuchando su alma. Escuchan el sonido de su alma. Lo verifican con palabras. Con los años, el ser humano comprende que la vida se ha quedado atrás y que ha llegado el momento de resignarse y de prepararse para marchar. Es una pena desaparecer sin más. De cualquier manera. Sobre la marcha. Al mirar atrás, uno siente el deseo de no solo contar lo suyo, sino de llegar al misterio de la vida. De responder a la pregunta: ¿para qué ha sido todo esto? Observar el mundo con una mirada un poco de despedida, un poco triste... Casi desde otro lado... Ya no necesita engañar ni engañarse. Y comprende que la visión del ser humano es imposible sin la noción de la muerte. Que el misterio de la muerte está por encima de todo. 

La guerra es una vivencia demasiado íntima. E igual de infinita que la vida humana... 

En una ocasión, una mujer que había sido piloto de aviación me negó la entrevista. Por teléfono me explicó: «No puedo... No quiero recordar. Pasé tres años en la guerra... Y durante esos tres años no me sentí mujer. Mi organismo quedó muerto. No tuve menstruaciones, casi no sentía los deseos de una mujer. Yo era guapa... Cuando mi marido me propuso matrimonio... Fue en Berlín, al lado del Reichstag... Me dijo: "La guerra se ha acabado. Estamos vivos. Hemos tenido suerte. Cásate conmigo". Sentí ganas de llorar. De gritar. ¡De darle una bofetada! ¿Matrimonio? ¿En ese momento? ¿En medio de todo aquello me habla de matrimonio? Entre el hollín negro y los ladrillos quemados... Mírame... ¡Mira cómo estoy! Primero, haz que me sienta como una mujer: regálame flores, cortéjame, dime palabras bonitas. ¡Lo necesito! ¡Lo estoy esperando tanto!... Por poco le pego. Quise pegarle... Tenía quemaduras en una de las mejillas, estaba morada, vi que lo entendió todo, que las lágrimas chorreaban por esas mejillas. Por las cicatrices recientes... Y sin darme cuenta de que lo estaba haciendo, yo ya le decía: "Sí, me casaré contigo". 

»Perdóname... No puedo...». 

La comprendí. Aunque para mí esto también es una página, o una media página, del futuro libro. 

Textos. Textos. Los textos están en todas partes. En los apartamentos de la ciudad, en las casas del campo, en la calle, en el tren... Estoy escuchando... Cada vez me convierto más en una gran oreja, bien abierta, que escucha a otra persona. «Leo» la voz.

Enero de 1942. Familias de soldados identifican muertos en Kerch, Crimea. Crédito: Getty Images.

Enero de 1942. Familias de soldados identifican muertos en Kerch, Crimea. Crédito: Getty Images.

El ser humano es más grande que la guerra... 

La memoria retiene solo aquellos instantes supremos. Cuando el hombre es motivado por algo más grande que la Historia. He de ampliar mi visión: escribir la verdad sobre la vida y la muerte en general, no limitarme a la verdad sobre la guerra. Partir de la pregunta de Dostoievski: ¿cuánto de humano hay en un ser humano y cómo proteger al ser humano que hay dentro de ti? Indudablemente el mal es tentador. Y es más hábil que el bien. Es atractivo. Me rehundo en el infinito mundo de la guerra, lo demás ha palidecido, parece más trivial. Un mundo grandioso y rapaz. Empiezo a entender la soledad del ser humano que vuelve de allí. Es como regresar de otro planeta o de otro universo. El que regresa posee un conocimiento que los demás no tienen y que solo es posible conseguir allí, cerca de la muerte. Si intenta explicar algo con palabras, la sensación es catastrófica. Pierde el don de la palabra. Quiere contar, y los demás quieren entender, pero se siente impotente. 

Siempre se encuentra en un espacio diferente. Rodeado de un mundo invisible. Como mínimo somos tres los que participamos en la conversación: el que habla, la persona tal como fue en el pasado narrado y yo. Mi objetivo es conseguir la verdad de aquellos años. De aquellos días. Sin que la falsedad de los sentimientos la enturbie. Inmediatamente después de la guerra, la persona cuenta una guerra determinada, pero pasadas unas décadas es evidente que todo cambia, porque la vida del narrador se cuela entre sus recuerdos. Todo su ser. Lo que ha vivido en esos años, lo que ha leído, lo que ha visto, a los que ha conocido. Y hasta su felicidad o su desgracia. ¿Conversamos a solas o hay alguien más? ¿La familia? ¿Los amigos? ¿Qué amigos? Los amigos del frente son una cosa; los demás, otra. Los documentos son seres vivos, cambian, se tambalean junto a nosotros, son una fuente de la que siempre se puede extraer algo más. Algo nuevo y necesario justo ahora. En este preciso instante. ¿Qué estamos buscando? No buscamos las hazañas y los actos heroicos, sino lo sencillo y humano, lo que sentimos más cercano. Por decir algo, ¿qué es lo que más me gustaría saber sobre la Grecia antigua? ¿Y de la historia de Esparta? Me gustaría leer de qué hablaba la gente en sus casas. Cómo se marchaban a la guerra. Qué palabras decían el último día y la última noche a sus amados. Cómo se despedía a los guerreros. Cómo esperaban que volvieran de la guerra... No a los héroes y a los comandantes, sino a los jóvenes sencillos... 

La Historia a través de las voces de testigos humildes y participantes sencillos, anónimos. Sí, eso es lo que me interesa, lo que quisiera transformar en literatura. Pero los narradores no solo son testigos; son actores y creadores, y, en último lugar, testigos. Es imposible afrontar la realidad de lleno, cara a cara. Entre la realidad y nosotros están nuestros sentimientos. Me doy cuenta de que trato con versiones, de que cada uno me ofrece la suya. De cómo se mezclan y entrecruzan nace el reflejo de un tiempo y de las personas que lo habitan. De mi libro no me gustaría que dijeran: «Sus personajes son reales, y eso es todo». Que no es más que historia. Simplemente historia. 

No escribo sobre la guerra, sino sobre el ser humano en la guerra. No escribo la historia de la guerra, sino la historia de los sentimientos. Soy historiadora del alma. Por un lado, estudio a la persona concreta que ha vivido en una época concreta y ha participado en unos acontecimientos concretos; por otro lado, quiero discernir en esa persona al ser humano eterno. La vibración de la eternidad. Lo que en él hay de inmutable. 

Me dicen: «Bueno, los recuerdos no son historia y tampoco son literatura». Simplemente son la vida, llena de polvo y sin el retoque limpiador de la mano del artista. Una conversación cualquiera está repleta de materia prima. Son los ladrillos, que están por todas partes. Pero ¡los ladrillos y el templo son cosas distintas! Yo lo veo diferente... Es justo ahí, en la calidez de la voz humana, en el vivo reflejo del pasado, donde se ocultan la alegría original y la invencible tragedia de la existencia. Su caos y su pasión. Su carácter único e inescrutable. En su estado puro, anterior a cualquier tratamiento. Los originales. 

Construyo los templos de nuestros sentimientos... De nuestros deseos, de los desengaños. Sueños. De todo lo que ha existido pero puede escabullirse.

21 de noviembre de 1943. Dos francotiradoras voluntarias del Ejército Rojo a su regreso de una misión de combate durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial. Crédito: Getty Images.

21 de noviembre de 1943. Dos francotiradoras voluntarias del Ejército Rojo a su regreso de una misión de combate durante la Segunda Guerra Mundial. Crédito: Getty Images.

Una vez más... Me interesa no solamente la realidad que nos rodea, sino también la que está en nuestro interior. Lo que más me interesa no es el suceso en sí, sino el suceso de los sentimientos. Digamos, el alma de los sucesos. Para mí, los sentimientos son la realidad. 

¿Y la historia? Está allí, fuera. Entre la multitud. Creo que en cada uno de nosotros hay un pedacito de historia. Uno posee media página; otro, dos o tres. Juntos escribimos el libro del tiempo. Cada uno cuenta a gritos su propia verdad. La pesadilla de los matices. Es preciso oírlo todo y diluirse en todo, transformarse en todo esto. Y al mismo tiempo, no perderse. Fundir el habla de la calle y de la literatura. La dificultad adicional es que hablamos del pasado con el lenguaje de hoy. ¿Cómo se podrán transmitir los sentimientos de entonces? 

***

Es por la mañana y suena el teléfono: «No nos conocemos... He venido de Crimea, la llamo desde la estación de ferrocarril. ¿Está lejos de su casa? Quiero contarle mi guerra...». 

¡Ostras! 

Tenía planes para ir con mi hija al parque. A montar en el tiovivo. ¿Cómo le explico a una criatura de seis años lo que estoy haciendo? Hace poco me preguntó: «¿Qué es una guerra?». ¿Cómo responderle?... Quiero que entre en el mundo con el corazón tierno, le explico que no se puede arrancar una flor tal cual, por las buenas. Que da pena aplastar a una mosca o quitarle un ala a una libélula. Entonces ¿cómo explicarle la guerra a un ser pequeño? ¿Cómo explicarle la muerte? ¿Cómo responder por qué unas personas matan a otras? Matan incluso a niños tan pequeños como ella. Nosotros, los adultos, formamos una especie de complot. ¿Y los niños qué? Después de la guerra mis padres lograron explicármelo a mí, pero yo ya no soy capaz de hacer lo mismo con mi hija. No encuentro las palabras. Cada vez la guerra nos gusta menos, nos cuesta más justificarla. Para nosotros ya es el asesinato, nada más. Al menos para mí lo es. 

No estaría mal escribir un libro sobre la guerra que provocara náuseas, que lograra que la sola idea de la guerra diera asco. Que pareciera de locos. Que hiciera vomitar a los generales... 

Esta lógica «de mujeres» deja atónitos a mis amigos (a diferencia de mis amigas). Y vuelvo a oír el argumento «masculino»: «Tú no has participado en ninguna guerra». Pero tal vez es lo mejor: no conozco la pasión del odio, tengo una visión neutral. No de militar, no de hombre.

En óptica existe el concepto de luminosidad: es la capacidad del objetivo de fijar mejor o peor la imagen captada. En cuanto a la intensidad de los sentimientos, de la percepción del dolor, la memoria bélica de las mujeres posee una «luminosidad» extraordinaria. Diría incluso que la guerra femenina es más terrible que la masculina. Los hombres se ocultan detrás de la Historia, detrás de los hechos; la guerra los seduce con su acción, con el enfrentamiento de las ideas, de los intereses... mientras que las mujeres están a expensas de los sentimientos. Y otra cosa: a los hombres desde que son niños se les dice que tal vez, de mayores, tendrán que disparar. Nadie les enseña eso a las mujeres... Ellas no contaban con que tendrían que hacer ese trabajo... Sus recuerdos son distintos, su forma de recordar es distinta. Son capaces de ver aquello que para los hombres está oculto. Repito: su guerra tiene olores, colores, tiene un detallado universo existencial: «Nos dieron los macutos y los usamos para cosernos unas falditas»; «En la oficina de reclutamiento, entré por una puerta llevando un vestido y salí por otra llevando un pantalón y una camisa militar, me cortaron la trenza y no me dejaron más que un flequillo»; «Los alemanes acribillaron a tiros toda la aldea y después se largaron... Nos acercamos al lugar desde donde lo habían hecho: la arena amarilla bien pisoteada, sobre ella había un zapato de niño...». En más de una ocasión me lo han advertido (sobre todo escritores hombres): «Las mujeres inventan». Sin embargo, lo he comprobado: eso no se puede inventar. ¿Copiado de algún libro? Solo se puede copiar de la vida, solo la vida real tiene tanta fantasía.

Las mujeres, hablen de lo que hablen, siempre tienen presente la misma idea: la guerra es ante todo un asesinato y, además, un duro trabajo. Por último, también está la vida cotidiana: cantaban, se enamoraban, se colocaban los bigudíes... 

En el centro siempre está la insufrible idea de la muerte, nadie quiere morir. Y aún más insoportable es tener que matar, porque la mujer da la vida. La regala. La lleva dentro durante un largo tiempo, la cuida. He comprendido que para una mujer matar es mucho más difícil. 

Junio de 1942. Mientras las fuerzas alemanas intensificaban el asedio de Sebastopol, miles de mujeres rusas completaban su entrenamiento militar para ser llamadas por el servicio en unidades regulares y de guerrilla. En la imagen, varias voluntarias empuñan la Tommy-gun en defensa de su país. Crédito: Getty Images.

Junio de 1942. Mientras las fuerzas alemanas intensificaban el asedio de Sebastopol, miles de mujeres rusas completaban su entrenamiento militar para ser llamadas por el servicio en unidades regulares y de guerrilla. En la imagen, varias voluntarias empuñan la Tommy-gun en defensa de su país. Crédito: Getty Images.

Los hombres... Permiten con desgana que las mujeres entren en su mundo, en su territorio. 

Estuve buscando, en la planta de producción de tractores de Minsk, a una mujer que había sido francotiradora. Una francotiradora famosa. Los rotativos del frente le dedicaron varios artículos. Sus amigas de Moscú me dieron el número de teléfono de su casa, pero era uno antiguo. El apellido que yo tenía apuntado era el de soltera. Fui a la administración de la fábrica donde, según mis datos, ella estaba empleada. Ellos (el director de la planta y el jefe de la administración) me dijeron: «¿No le basta con los hombres? ¿Para qué quiere todas esas historias de mujeres? Esas fantasías femeninas...». Los hombres temían que las mujeres contaran otra guerra, una guerra distinta. 

Visité a una familia... Los dos habían combatido, el marido y la mujer. Se conocieron en el frente y se casaron: «Celebramos la boda en las trincheras. La víspera del combate. Me apañé un vestido blanco con la tela de un paracaídas alemán». Él era tirador de ametralladora, ella hacía de enlace. El hombre, sin rodeos, envió a la mujer a la cocina: «¿Nos preparas algo?». Una vez servidos el té y los bocadillos, ella se sentó con nosotros, y el marido enseguida la hizo volver a levantarse: «¿Y las fresas? ¿Dónde está el tesoro de nuestros campos?». Tuve que insistir, pero el marido finalmente le cedió su sitio a la mujer. Antes de irse le recordó: «Cuéntalo tal como te he enseñado. Sin lágrimas y naderías de mujeres: "Yo quería ser guapa... Lloré cuando me cortaron la trenza..."». Más tarde, en susurros, ella me confesó: «Se ha pasado toda la noche haciéndome estudiar el volumen de La historia de la Gran Guerra Patria. Se preocupa por mí. Y ahora seguro que está sufriendo porque sabe que acabaré recordando algo que no debo». 

Esto mismo ha ocurrido más de una vez, en más de una casa. 

Sí, ellas lloran, mucho. Gritan. Y cuando me voy se tienen que tomar las pastillas para el corazón. Llaman a urgencias. Y, sin embargo, continúan pidiéndome: «Ven. Ven, por favor. Llevamos tanto tiempo calladas. Cuarenta años con la boca cerrada...». 

Soy consciente de que no deben redactarse el llanto ni los gritos, una vez redactados perderán importancia; la versión escrita saltará al primer plano y la literatura sustituirá la vida. Así es este material, la temperatura de este material. Supera los límites. En la guerra, el ser humano está a la vista, se abre más que en cualquier otra situación, tal vez el amor sería comparable. Se descubre hasta lo más profundo, hasta las capas subcutáneas. Las ideas palidecen ante el rostro de la guerra, y se destapa esa eternidad inconcebible que nadie está preparado para afrontar. Vivimos en un marco histórico, no cósmico. 

En ocasiones me devolvían el texto que yo les enviaba para que leyeran, con una nota: «No hables de las pequeñeces... Escribe sobre nuestra Gran Victoria...». Pero las «pequeñeces» son para mí lo más importante, son la calidez y la claridad de la vida: el flequillo que dejan tras cortar la trenza, las ollas de campaña llenas de sopa y gachas humeantes que nadie comerá porque de las cien personas que fueron a combate solo han regresado siete; o, por ejemplo, lo insoportable que fue para todos, después de la guerra, pasar por el mercado y ver las tablas de los carniceros teñidas de rojo... Incluso aquel paño rojo... «Cariño, han pasado cuarenta años, pero en mi casa no encontrarás nada de color rojo. ¡Desde la guerra, odio el rojo!»

Septiembre de 1942. Agricultoras de una granja colectiva cavan una zanja antitanques para ayudar al Ejército Rojo. Crédito: Getty Images.

Septiembre de 1942. Agricultoras de una granja colectiva cavan una zanja antitanques para ayudar al Ejército Rojo. Crédito: Getty Images.

Atenta, escucho el dolor... El dolor como prueba de la vida pasada. No existen otras pruebas, desconfío de las demás pruebas. Son demasiados los casos en que las palabras nos alejaron de la verdad. 

Reflexiono sobre el sufrimiento, que es el grado superior de información, el que está en conexión directa con el misterio. El misterio de la vida. La literatura rusa en su totalidad habla de esto. Se ha escrito más sobre el sufrimiento que sobre el amor. 

Y las historias que yo escucho también... 

Febrero de 1940. Una soldado del Ejército Rojo empuña su fusil de francotirador. Crédito: Getty Images.

Febrero de 1940. Una soldado del Ejército Rojo empuña su fusil de francotirador. Crédito: Getty Images.

¿Quiénes eran: rusos o soviéticos? No, no, eran soviéticos: los rusos, los bielorrusos, los ucranianos, los tadzhik... 

De veras existió ese hombre soviético. Creo que ya no habrá ninguno más de su especie, y ellos lo saben. Incluso nosotros, sus hijos, somos distintos. Queremos ser como todos los demás. Parecernos al mundo, no a nuestros padres. Y ya no hablemos de los nietos... 

Pero yo les quiero. Les admiro. En sus vidas hubo Stalin, hubo Gulag y también hubo Victoria. Ellos lo saben. 

Hace poco me ha llegado una carta: 

«Mi hija me quiere mucho, para ella soy una heroína, leer su libro le dará un gran disgusto. La suciedad, los parásitos, la sangre infinita: todo eso es verdad. No lo niego. Pero ¿acaso el recuerdo de todo aquello es capaz de originar los sentimientos más nobles? ¿Prepararnos para un acto de valentía?...». 

Lo he comprobado muchas veces: 

... nuestra memoria no es un instrumento ideal. No solo es aleatoria y caprichosa, sino que además arrastra las ataduras del tiempo. 

... miramos al pasado desde el presente, el punto desde el que observamos no puede estar en medio de la nada. 

... y además están enamoradas de todo lo que les pasó, porque para ellas no solamente es la guerra, también es su juventud. El primer amor. 

Febrero de 1945. Tercer frente bielorruso, Segunda Guerra Mundial. Un grupo de francotiradoras del Ejército Rojo, las cuales han acabado con la vida de unos 2.000 alemanes, inspeccionan una pequeña ciudad en el este de Prusia que ha sido tomada por el ejército soviético. Crédito: Getty Images.

Febrero de 1945. Tercer frente bielorruso, Segunda Guerra Mundial. Un grupo de francotiradoras del Ejército Rojo, las cuales han acabado con la vida de unos 2.000 alemanes, inspeccionan una pequeña ciudad en el este de Prusia que ha sido tomada por el ejército soviético. Crédito: Getty Images.

Las escucho cuando hablan... Las escucho cuando están en silencio... Para mí, tanto las palabras como el silencio son el texto. 

—Esto no es para que lo publiques, es solo para ti... Los adultos... En el tren, siempre iban pensativos... Tristes. Recuerdo una noche, mientras los demás dormían, en que un hombre me habló de Stalin. Había bebido y se armó de valor, me confesó que su padre llevaba diez años en un campo de trabajos forzados, incomunicado. No se sabía si estaba vivo o muerto. El hombre pronunció unas palabras terribles: «Yo quiero defender a mi Patria, pero no quiero defender a ese traidor de la Revolución, a ese Stalin». Yo nunca había oído nada similar... Me asusté. Por suerte, por la mañana ya no estaba. Se habría bajado del tren... 

—Te cuento un secreto... Yo tenía una amiga, se llamaba Oksana, era de Ucrania. Fue por ella por quien supe por primera vez de la tremenda hambruna en Ucrania. No se veía ni un ratón, ni una rana: se los habían comido todos. En su aldea murieron la mitad de los habitantes. Murieron todos sus hermanos pequeños y sus padres, ella se salvó porque cada noche robaba estiércol de caballo de los establos del koljós* y se lo comía. Nadie más pudo comérselo, excepto ella: «Si está templado, no te entra en la boca, pero frío es comestible. Y mejor si está congelado, huele a hierbas secas». Yo le decía: «Oksana, el camarada Stalin lucha. Aniquila a los malvados. Pero ellos son muchos». «No —me respondía—, eres tonta. Mi padre enseñaba Historia en la escuela y me decía: "Un día el camarada Stalin pagará por sus crímenes...". 

»De noche yo pensaba: "¿Y si Oksana es el enemigo? ¿Y si es una espía? ¿Qué he de hacer?". Dos días más tarde murió en combate. No quedaba nadie vivo de su familia, no hubo adónde enviar el aviso...» 

Rara vez tocan este tema y, cuando lo hacen, es con extrema cautela. Siguen paralizados por la hipnosis de Stalin, por el miedo, y por su fe. No han logrado aún dejar de amar lo que tanto habían amado. El valor en la guerra y el valor en el pensamiento son dos valores diferentes. Yo creía que eran lo mismo.

* Koljós: economía colectiva o granja colectiva en la Unión Soviética. Después de la Revolución rusa de 1917 fue la principal forma de la economía agrícola. Una vez expropiados, los terrenos pasaron a ser propiedad del Estado. Los campesinos eran trabajadores asalariados reunidos forzosamente en las granjas colectivas. (N. de las T.)

Ucrania, 1944. En la ciudad de Nikolaev en el día de la liberación, una mujer quita el cartel con el nombre de Adolf Hitler. Crédito: Getty Images.

Ucrania, 1944. En la ciudad de Nikolaev en el día de la liberación, una mujer quita el cartel con el nombre de Adolf Hitler. Crédito: Getty Images.

El manuscrito lleva mucho tiempo sobre la mesa... 

Llevo dos años recibiendo cartas de rechazo de las editoriales. Las revistas guardan silencio. El veredicto siempre es el mismo: es una guerra demasiado espantosa. El horror sobra. Sobra naturalismo. No se percibe el papel dominante y dirigente del Partido Comunista. En resumen, no es una guerra correcta... ¿Y cómo es entonces la correcta? ¿Con los generales y el sabio generalísimo? ¿Sin la sangre y los parásitos? Con los héroes y los actos de valentía. Sin embargo, lo que yo recuerdo de niña es: iba caminando con mi abuela a través de un inmenso campo, y ella me cuenta: «En este campo, después de la guerra, durante mucho tiempo no creció nada. Los alemanes se habían retirado ya... En este lugar hubo un combate, lucharon durante dos días... Los muertos yacían uno junto al otro, como gavillas. Como las traviesas de una línea de ferrocarril. Los alemanes y los nuestros. Tras la lluvia, sus caras quedaron llorosas. Tardamos un mes en enterrarlos a todos...». 

¿Acaso puedo olvidarme de aquel campo? 

No me limito a apuntar. Recojo y sigo la pista del espíritu humano allí donde el sufrimiento transforma al hombre pequeño en un gran hombre. Donde el ser humano crece. Para mí, este ser ya no es el proletariado mudo de la Historia, que desaparece sin dejar huella. Veo su alma. Entonces ¿en qué consiste mi conflicto con el poder? Ya lo he descubierto: las grandes ideas necesitan hombres pequeños, no les interesan los grandes hombres. Un gran hombre es excesivo e incómodo. Es difícil de moldear. Yo en cambio busco al pequeño gran hombre. Ultrajado, pisoteado, humillado, aquel que dejó atrás los campos de Stalin y las traiciones, y salió ganador. Hizo el milagro. 

La historia de la guerra ha sido reemplazada por la Historia de la Victoria. 

Pero él, mi hombre, nos contará.