Mapa de las Lenguas 2023

«La cabeza de mi padre», de Alma Delia Murillo: escribir sin zona postal

Todo mapa es una representación del mundo que refleja la visión de quien lo dibuja, y el Mapa de las Lenguas no tiene fronteras ni capitales: once libros, un año y un territorio común para la literatura de veintiún países que comparten un idioma con tantas voces y lenguas como hablantes. Invitados por LENGUA, los autores de la edición de 2023 exponen su geografía literaria y explican cómo ésta encaja en esta colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura en español. Aquí, Alma Delia Murillo escribe sobre «La cabeza de mi padre».

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el mes de marzo y el calor me derret\u00eda la piel entre las costillas. Llevaba el coraz\u00f3n a galope y un tatuaje reci\u00e9n hecho que punzaba en mi antebrazo izquierdo. Caminaba pensando que la calle es un estado fisiol\u00f3gico. \u00abEstoy cansada, estoy hambrienta, estoy calle\u00bb.<\/p><p>\u00abEs marzo del a\u00f1o 2017 y hace tres d\u00edas muri\u00f3 mi padre\u00bb, repet\u00eda. Qu\u00e9 inoportuno, venir a morirse justo cuando acababa de conocerlo.<\/p><p>Esas fueron las primeras l\u00edneas que escrib\u00ed luego de aquel viaje alucinante, luego de que mi sue\u00f1o premonitorio se cumpliera con una precisi\u00f3n mefistof\u00e9lica. Supe, desde ese momento, que escribir\u00eda una novela sobre la b\u00fasqueda de mi padre y su foto sin cabeza, lo supe porque\u00a0<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/9559-alma-delia-murillo\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">todos mis textos<\/a><\/span> han nacido con una intuici\u00f3n que emerge en mitad de la calle.\u00a0<\/p><p>Vivir en la\u00a0<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/ar\/revista-lengua\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Ciudad de M\u00e9xico es experimentar un estado narrativo<\/a><\/span> peculiar. En una distancia de tres estaciones del Metro es posible sentir que se habitan no dos ciudades, sino dos mundos. Entre un sem\u00e1foro en verde y otro en rojo puede materializarse una aparici\u00f3n maravillosa vestida de tlatoani danzante con penacho en la cabeza y furia en los ojos, o puede tragarte \u2014con todo y autom\u00f3vil\u2014 una grieta apocal\u00edptica que se abre en el pavimento. As\u00ed de fant\u00e1stico y as\u00ed de jodido. Una ciudad de nueve millones de habitantes que, si suma la zona que llamamos Estado de M\u00e9xico y que est\u00e1 a una hora de distancia, puede convertirse en un arrabal fortificado de veinte millones de personas, 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Las fantas\u00edas de convertirme en escritora y mis primeros relatos nacieron entre un transporte p\u00fablico y el otro, entre una l\u00ednea del Metro y la otra.<\/p><p>As\u00ed llegu\u00e9 a la escritura, caminando, transitando de la barriada reseca y carente en el Estado de M\u00e9xico a la barriada pringosa y un poquito menos carente en la Ciudad de M\u00e9xico, tierra prometida, esperanza de alcanzar legitimidad con la hidalgu\u00eda de ser llamada chilanga. Chilangos somos los que vivimos en esta ciudad y convertimos nuestras azoteas en el promontorio del alc\u00e1zar para vigilar al mundo, celebrar los fines de semana o sobrevivir al encierro pand\u00e9mico.<\/p><p>Esta ciudad, de la que tanto y tan bien escribieron\u00a0<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/835-roberto-bolano\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Roberto Bola\u00f1o<\/a><\/span> y Jos\u00e9 Emilio Pacheco, me ha visto hacer dieciocho mudanzas a las que todav\u00eda no me explico c\u00f3mo he sobrevivido. Fue desempacando una de esas mudanzas que encontr\u00e9 una fotograf\u00eda m\u00eda, apenas una ni\u00f1a de a\u00f1o, sentada en el mostrador de un boticario que quer\u00eda ser farmacia, recargada en el brazo moreno de un hombre que me sosten\u00eda detr\u00e1s.<\/p><p>Ese hombre era mi padre del que durante a\u00f1os escuch\u00e9 la versi\u00f3n oficial: tu padre est\u00e1 muerto.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pero ni tan muerto que a mi madre y a mi abuela se les escapaban frases conjugando en tiempo presente y no en pasado, ni tan muerto que no estaba muerto pero su muerte se acercaba y yo la present\u00ed con la urgencia de ir a conocerlo. Y all\u00e1 fui, a mis cuarenta a\u00f1os, recorriendo las carreteras de este pa\u00eds que repentinamente me quitaba el t\u00edtulo de chilanga.<\/p><p>Ese viaje sin mapa ni zona postal ha sido la traves\u00eda de mi vida. Por eso en este, el quinto libro que escribo, dej\u00e9 la ficci\u00f3n para contar mi historia desde la narrativa del yo. 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5 minutos
Alma Delia Murillo. Crédito: D. R.

Alma Delia Murillo. Crédito: D. R.

Era el mes de marzo y el calor me derretía la piel entre las costillas. Llevaba el corazón a galope y un tatuaje recién hecho que punzaba en mi antebrazo izquierdo. Caminaba pensando que la calle es un estado fisiológico. «Estoy cansada, estoy hambrienta, estoy calle».

«Es marzo del año 2017 y hace tres días murió mi padre», repetía. Qué inoportuno, venir a morirse justo cuando acababa de conocerlo.

Esas fueron las primeras líneas que escribí luego de aquel viaje alucinante, luego de que mi sueño premonitorio se cumpliera con una precisión mefistofélica. Supe, desde ese momento, que escribiría una novela sobre la búsqueda de mi padre y su foto sin cabeza, lo supe porque todos mis textos han nacido con una intuición que emerge en mitad de la calle. 

Vivir en la Ciudad de México es experimentar un estado narrativo peculiar. En una distancia de tres estaciones del Metro es posible sentir que se habitan no dos ciudades, sino dos mundos. Entre un semáforo en verde y otro en rojo puede materializarse una aparición maravillosa vestida de tlatoani danzante con penacho en la cabeza y furia en los ojos, o puede tragarte —con todo y automóvil— una grieta apocalíptica que se abre en el pavimento. Así de fantástico y así de jodido. Una ciudad de nueve millones de habitantes que, si suma la zona que llamamos Estado de México y que está a una hora de distancia, puede convertirse en un arrabal fortificado de veinte millones de personas, cuidado.

Se escribe caminando, al menos yo escribo caminando. Las fantasías de convertirme en escritora y mis primeros relatos nacieron entre un transporte público y el otro, entre una línea del Metro y la otra.

Así llegué a la escritura, caminando, transitando de la barriada reseca y carente en el Estado de México a la barriada pringosa y un poquito menos carente en la Ciudad de México, tierra prometida, esperanza de alcanzar legitimidad con la hidalguía de ser llamada chilanga. Chilangos somos los que vivimos en esta ciudad y convertimos nuestras azoteas en el promontorio del alcázar para vigilar al mundo, celebrar los fines de semana o sobrevivir al encierro pandémico.

Esta ciudad, de la que tanto y tan bien escribieron Roberto Bolaño y José Emilio Pacheco, me ha visto hacer dieciocho mudanzas a las que todavía no me explico cómo he sobrevivido. Fue desempacando una de esas mudanzas que encontré una fotografía mía, apenas una niña de año, sentada en el mostrador de un boticario que quería ser farmacia, recargada en el brazo moreno de un hombre que me sostenía detrás.

Ese hombre era mi padre del que durante años escuché la versión oficial: tu padre está muerto. 

Pero ni tan muerto que a mi madre y a mi abuela se les escapaban frases conjugando en tiempo presente y no en pasado, ni tan muerto que no estaba muerto pero su muerte se acercaba y yo la presentí con la urgencia de ir a conocerlo. Y allá fui, a mis cuarenta años, recorriendo las carreteras de este país que repentinamente me quitaba el título de chilanga.

Ese viaje sin mapa ni zona postal ha sido la travesía de mi vida. Por eso en este, el quinto libro que escribo, dejé la ficción para contar mi historia desde la narrativa del yo. Así nació La cabeza de mi padre, sin mapa ni certezas, pero con mucha calle y con el llamado de la sangre que se quedó fija en el tatuaje rojo de mi antebrazo y que vino a confirmar que, como la mitad de los mexicanos, yo también soy hija de un Pedro Páramo.

Mapa de las Lenguas es una colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura de veintiún países que comparten el idioma. Pero es, sobre todo, un itinerario de viaje por once de los libros que el año pasado tuvieron mayor trascendencia en su país de origen y que, a lo largo de 2023, recorrerán el resto del ámbito del español.

Adentrarse en la obra de estas once voces es transitar un territorio físico, tangible, pero también un espacio moral, intelectual, anímico, político y sociocultural. La lectura de un autor contemporáneo de cualquier país de habla hispana es una ventana a una forma de expresarse y escribir en español, pero también un modo de tomarle la temperatura a las preocupaciones y los anhelos de cada uno de esos lugares. 

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