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Así comienza «Mirafiori», la nueva novela de Manuel Jabois

¿Qué harías si la mujer de la que estás enamorado te confía que ve fantasmas? Valentina Barreiro y el narrador de esta historia se conocieron en la adolescencia y han compartido un secreto toda su vida. Cumplidos los cuarenta, Valentina es una actriz de éxito y él un hombre despechado y sin fortuna. Será entonces cuando lleguen a conocerse de verdad. Manuel Jabois regresa con «Mirafiori», una historia sobre la belleza de aquello que no tiene explicación. A continuación, LENGUA ofrece en exclusiva el primer capítulo de la novela.

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me esperar\u00e1 dentro de la estaci\u00f3n sino en la calle, apoyada en la puerta de un Fiat 131 Mirafiori con un Ducados en la boca para encenderlo con una cerilla en cuanto me vea, como si su director le hubiese dicho \u00ab\u00a1acci\u00f3n!\u00bb. Todo parecer\u00e1 casual, pero en su cabeza habr\u00e1 transcurrido una y otra vez. Se habr\u00e1 despertado pronto para probarse un mont\u00f3n de ropa, alguna a\u00fan con la etiqueta colgada para devolverla despu\u00e9s, y terminar eligiendo, como siempre, el vestido corto negro y las botas altas negras que tanto me gustaron cuando la acompa\u00f1\u00e9 al festival de Sitges. Habr\u00e1 estado delante del espejo una hora \u2014lo s\u00e9 porque la cronometraba\u2014, y al final decidir\u00e1 no maquillarse apenas, solo una sombra en los ojos, pero no porque ella se vea mejor sino porque s\u00e9 que su rostro lavado es el mejor de todos los que usa en la vida y en las pel\u00edculas, incluido el rostro que me vio al l\u00edmite de la muerte en nuestro piso en Madrid, la misma mirada de Faye Dunaway a Warren Beatty cuando comprende en <em>Bonnie &amp; Clyde<\/em> que los van a matar en segundos; esa belleza absoluta que solo aparece al fondo del terror, cuando ya todo da igual y lo que os pase os va a pasar a los dos al mismo tiempo, y nunca m\u00e1s se quedar\u00e1 ninguno solo, es decir, sin el otro.\u00a0<\/p><p>Meter\u00e9 el cargador del m\u00f3vil en la bolsa cuando la megafon\u00eda del tren avise de que estamos entrando en la estaci\u00f3n Mar\u00eda Zambrano. Me despedir\u00e9 del chico al que le he pagado la cerveza en la cafeter\u00eda, para entonces un viejo amigo, un adolescente amable, t\u00edmido y fuerte, con la esperanza de que no me acompa\u00f1e por el and\u00e9n, pues a veces basta que te despidas de alguien para no quit\u00e1rtelo nunca de encima. A\u00fan en el tren beber\u00e9 un sorbo de agua para dejar la botella vac\u00eda en el asiento, como siempre, coger\u00e9 la bolsa de viaje y saldr\u00e9 del vag\u00f3n prediciendo el tiempo que har\u00e1 esta noche, si seguir\u00e1 el calor sofocante del mediod\u00eda o refrescar\u00e1 lo suficiente. No me pondr\u00e9 la chaqueta, que llevar\u00e9 colgada del brazo, y la bolsa peque\u00f1a har\u00e1 que ella piense \u2014pero no diga\u2014 que siempre viajo con lo justo, ya sea ropa o enseres personales. No encender\u00e9 un pitillo hasta que salga de la estaci\u00f3n, no mirar\u00e9 el m\u00f3vil mientras dejo atr\u00e1s el tren (por si ella me ha escrito un mensaje para decirme que no viene y no me queda m\u00e1s remedio que leerlo). Tampoco caminar\u00e9 r\u00e1pido por si me pongo a sudar, ni mirar\u00e9 a los lados como un fugitivo. Tendr\u00e9 ganas de verla, muchas, pero no tantas de estar con ella, y eso lo sabr\u00e9 porque en los cinco \u00faltimos a\u00f1os le he dado muchas vueltas a nuestra relaci\u00f3n y al efecto que produce en 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dejamos hace un tiempo, pero no el suficiente para que yo no recuerde ciertas cosas. Por ejemplo, que sonreir\u00e1 al verme, una sonrisa desganada que va entre un \u00abme has hecho perderme el rodaje de hoy\u00bb y un \u00abm\u00e1s te vale que merezca la pena\u00bb. Nos daremos dos besos \u2014ella en los p\u00f3mulos, como cuando me castigaba; yo con retardo, apoyando los labios en su cara y haciendo el ruido del beso al separarlos, para hacerla re\u00edr, y se reir\u00e1\u2014 y me preguntar\u00e1 qu\u00e9 tal el viaje. Le dir\u00e9 que odio los trenes y volver\u00e1 a contarme \u2014no es pesada, solo tiene mala memoria\u2014 que en un vag\u00f3n se aprendi\u00f3 el papel de<em> Reyerta,<\/em> la pel\u00edcula que la hizo famosa; le dir\u00e9 que, m\u00e1s que famosa, conocida, y que para las l\u00edneas de guion que ten\u00eda lo mismo hubiera servido que viajase en avi\u00f3n. Volver\u00e1 a re\u00edr y le dir\u00e9 que en el cine habr\u00e1 conocido a hombres m\u00e1s guapos, m\u00e1s altos y m\u00e1s fuertes, pero a ninguno que la haga re\u00edr como yo, y me contestar\u00e1 que, a su edad, a los hombres los quiere para pasearlos, como los vestidos, porque para re\u00edrse le bastan sus amigas. Recordar\u00e9 que en los \u00faltimos tiempos me aburr\u00edan sus frases ingeniosas, que se notaba much\u00edsimo que sus guionistas desechaban por artificiales.\u00a0<\/p><p>Nos subiremos a su coche, iremos al Pimpi a tomar manzanillas, y en alg\u00fan momento de la tarde ella querr\u00e1 pillar y yo le dir\u00e9 que lo dej\u00e9 hace cinco a\u00f1os, el d\u00eda que nos separamos, y me dir\u00e1 que no quiero pillar porque nunca se me levanta cuando me meto, y le dir\u00e9 que ya no me hace falta pillar para que no se me levante, y se reir\u00e1 porque, \u00abde todos modos, no \u00edbamos a acostarnos\u00bb. Yo no le dir\u00e9 por qu\u00e9 prefiero no pillar; ella no preguntar\u00e1 porque preferir\u00e1 no saberlo, y hablaremos de nuestros amigos (los despellejaremos poniendo \u00e9nfasis en que los queremos mucho) y de nuestros trabajos, tratando sutilmente de quedar uno por encima del otro utilizando perversas t\u00e1cticas pasivo-agresivas. No me besar\u00e1, nunca me besar\u00e1. No me preguntar\u00e1 por mis padres. Tampoco por el accidente ni por mi \u00faltimo trabajo, que creer\u00e1 abandonado, y creer\u00e1 mal. Me habr\u00e1 echado de menos y yo la habr\u00e9 echado de menos a ella, aunque yo piense, como siempre, que no lo suficiente.\u00a0<\/p><p>Habr\u00e1 un momento, cuando salgamos del bar, en que me d\u00e9 cuenta de que su coche ya no es un 131 Mirafiori, y qu\u00e9 pinta en este siglo un 131 en general. Pensar\u00e9, y no ser\u00e1 c\u00f3modo, en que yo hab\u00eda imaginado nuestra cita con tanto detalle, y tan seguro estaba de mis aciertos, que ni siquiera me par\u00e9 a pensar por qu\u00e9 raz\u00f3n iba a estar ella apoyada en un 131. Pero estoy seguro de que estar\u00e1 apoyada en \u00e9l cuando yo salga de la estaci\u00f3n, y de pronto comprender\u00e9 que eso ya no es una suposici\u00f3n, sino una certeza.\u00a0<\/p><p>Me detendr\u00e9 en la calle y dudar\u00e9 de si estoy so\u00f1ando o no, dar\u00e9 un paso detr\u00e1s de otro muy despacio, como si el suelo fuese a desaparecer, tal y como deseo en mis sue\u00f1os para despertarme: que el suelo desaparezca y yo caiga al vac\u00edo que me devuelva a la vida. Pero no lo hace: el suelo no desaparece. Le preguntar\u00e9 si no me estaba esperando apoyada en un 131 Mirafiori y me dir\u00e1 que ni idea del modelo del coche, pero que el suyo desde luego no era un Mirafiori, ya no era un Mirafiori (\u00ab\u00bfme vacilas?\u00bb, preguntar\u00e1 con una sonrisa). Y descubrir\u00e9 poco a poco, a c\u00e1mara lenta, que lo que hab\u00eda imaginado que pasar\u00eda al bajarme del tren no era una recreaci\u00f3n, sino algo real. Por tanto, no lo estaba imaginando, sino viviendo. Pod\u00eda sospechar lo que iba a pasar con Valentina Barreiro, al fin y al cabo mi pareja durante veintid\u00f3s a\u00f1os y f\u00e1cilmente predecible, tanto que yo ya no era su exnovio sino su algoritmo, pero nunca, de ning\u00fan modo, detalles tan absurdos como que la encontrar\u00eda apoyada en un coche concreto, ni el modelo de ese coche.\u00a0<\/p><p>Descubrir\u00e9 entonces que el paso previo al terror siempre es creer que no existe, el siguiente es asumir lo y a\u00fan hay otro m\u00e1s, el definitivo: encontrarle la ternura. Y solo entonces sabr\u00e9 por qu\u00e9 me extra\u00f1aba que no me hubiese preguntado por el accidente, y qu\u00e9 accidente era el que pod\u00eda preocuparme sino el 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class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><strong>OTROS\u00a0CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/despedidas\/la-dificultad-de-perder-la-juventud-javier-marias\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00abLa dificultad de perder la juventud\u00bb: un a\u00f1o sin Javier Mar\u00edas<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/corazon-tan-blanco-en-alemania-javier-marias\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00abCoraz\u00f3n tan blanco\u00bb en Alemania: historia de un descubrimiento<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/nicola-lagioia-manuel-jabois-narradores-de-historias\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Nicola Lagioia y Manuel Jabois: v\u00edctimas, verdugos y el mal como narrador de la historia<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/ray-loriga-cualquier-verano-es-un-final-alfaguara\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Ray Loriga y la vida antes y despu\u00e9s de la muerte<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/arturo-perez-reverte-cuando-fuimos-honrados-mercenarios-diario-pueblo\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Arturo P\u00e9rez-Reverte: cuando fuimos honrados mercenarios<\/a><\/span><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"20\",\"bottom\":\"20\",\"left\":\"20\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"solid\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"1\",\"right\":\"1\",\"bottom\":\"1\",\"left\":\"1\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"20\",\"bottom\":\"20\",\"left\":\"20\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"h3jyjmd\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_layout\":\"\",\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"layout\":\"full_width\",\"content_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"gap\":\"default\",\"height\":\"default\",\"custom_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":400},\"column_position\":\"middle\",\"content_position\":\"\",\"structure\":\"10\",\"section_background\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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10 minutos
Manuel Jabois. Crédito: Jairo Vargas.

Manuel Jabois. Crédito: Jairo Vargas.

No me esperará dentro de la estación sino en la calle, apoyada en la puerta de un Fiat 131 Mirafiori con un Ducados en la boca para encenderlo con una cerilla en cuanto me vea, como si su director le hubiese dicho «¡acción!». Todo parecerá casual, pero en su cabeza habrá transcurrido una y otra vez. Se habrá despertado pronto para probarse un montón de ropa, alguna aún con la etiqueta colgada para devolverla después, y terminar eligiendo, como siempre, el vestido corto negro y las botas altas negras que tanto me gustaron cuando la acompañé al festival de Sitges. Habrá estado delante del espejo una hora —lo sé porque la cronometraba—, y al final decidirá no maquillarse apenas, solo una sombra en los ojos, pero no porque ella se vea mejor sino porque sé que su rostro lavado es el mejor de todos los que usa en la vida y en las películas, incluido el rostro que me vio al límite de la muerte en nuestro piso en Madrid, la misma mirada de Faye Dunaway a Warren Beatty cuando comprende en Bonnie & Clyde que los van a matar en segundos; esa belleza absoluta que solo aparece al fondo del terror, cuando ya todo da igual y lo que os pase os va a pasar a los dos al mismo tiempo, y nunca más se quedará ninguno solo, es decir, sin el otro. 

Meteré el cargador del móvil en la bolsa cuando la megafonía del tren avise de que estamos entrando en la estación María Zambrano. Me despediré del chico al que le he pagado la cerveza en la cafetería, para entonces un viejo amigo, un adolescente amable, tímido y fuerte, con la esperanza de que no me acompañe por el andén, pues a veces basta que te despidas de alguien para no quitártelo nunca de encima. Aún en el tren beberé un sorbo de agua para dejar la botella vacía en el asiento, como siempre, cogeré la bolsa de viaje y saldré del vagón prediciendo el tiempo que hará esta noche, si seguirá el calor sofocante del mediodía o refrescará lo suficiente. No me pondré la chaqueta, que llevaré colgada del brazo, y la bolsa pequeña hará que ella piense —pero no diga— que siempre viajo con lo justo, ya sea ropa o enseres personales. No encenderé un pitillo hasta que salga de la estación, no miraré el móvil mientras dejo atrás el tren (por si ella me ha escrito un mensaje para decirme que no viene y no me queda más remedio que leerlo). Tampoco caminaré rápido por si me pongo a sudar, ni miraré a los lados como un fugitivo. Tendré ganas de verla, muchas, pero no tantas de estar con ella, y eso lo sabré porque en los cinco últimos años le he dado muchas vueltas a nuestra relación y al efecto que produce en mí.

Lo dejamos hace un tiempo, pero no el suficiente para que yo no recuerde ciertas cosas. Por ejemplo, que sonreirá al verme, una sonrisa desganada que va entre un «me has hecho perderme el rodaje de hoy» y un «más te vale que merezca la pena». Nos daremos dos besos —ella en los pómulos, como cuando me castigaba; yo con retardo, apoyando los labios en su cara y haciendo el ruido del beso al separarlos, para hacerla reír, y se reirá— y me preguntará qué tal el viaje. Le diré que odio los trenes y volverá a contarme —no es pesada, solo tiene mala memoria— que en un vagón se aprendió el papel de Reyerta, la película que la hizo famosa; le diré que, más que famosa, conocida, y que para las líneas de guion que tenía lo mismo hubiera servido que viajase en avión. Volverá a reír y le diré que en el cine habrá conocido a hombres más guapos, más altos y más fuertes, pero a ninguno que la haga reír como yo, y me contestará que, a su edad, a los hombres los quiere para pasearlos, como los vestidos, porque para reírse le bastan sus amigas. Recordaré que en los últimos tiempos me aburrían sus frases ingeniosas, que se notaba muchísimo que sus guionistas desechaban por artificiales. 

Nos subiremos a su coche, iremos al Pimpi a tomar manzanillas, y en algún momento de la tarde ella querrá pillar y yo le diré que lo dejé hace cinco años, el día que nos separamos, y me dirá que no quiero pillar porque nunca se me levanta cuando me meto, y le diré que ya no me hace falta pillar para que no se me levante, y se reirá porque, «de todos modos, no íbamos a acostarnos». Yo no le diré por qué prefiero no pillar; ella no preguntará porque preferirá no saberlo, y hablaremos de nuestros amigos (los despellejaremos poniendo énfasis en que los queremos mucho) y de nuestros trabajos, tratando sutilmente de quedar uno por encima del otro utilizando perversas tácticas pasivo-agresivas. No me besará, nunca me besará. No me preguntará por mis padres. Tampoco por el accidente ni por mi último trabajo, que creerá abandonado, y creerá mal. Me habrá echado de menos y yo la habré echado de menos a ella, aunque yo piense, como siempre, que no lo suficiente. 

Habrá un momento, cuando salgamos del bar, en que me dé cuenta de que su coche ya no es un 131 Mirafiori, y qué pinta en este siglo un 131 en general. Pensaré, y no será cómodo, en que yo había imaginado nuestra cita con tanto detalle, y tan seguro estaba de mis aciertos, que ni siquiera me paré a pensar por qué razón iba a estar ella apoyada en un 131. Pero estoy seguro de que estará apoyada en él cuando yo salga de la estación, y de pronto comprenderé que eso ya no es una suposición, sino una certeza. 

Me detendré en la calle y dudaré de si estoy soñando o no, daré un paso detrás de otro muy despacio, como si el suelo fuese a desaparecer, tal y como deseo en mis sueños para despertarme: que el suelo desaparezca y yo caiga al vacío que me devuelva a la vida. Pero no lo hace: el suelo no desaparece. Le preguntaré si no me estaba esperando apoyada en un 131 Mirafiori y me dirá que ni idea del modelo del coche, pero que el suyo desde luego no era un Mirafiori, ya no era un Mirafiori («¿me vacilas?», preguntará con una sonrisa). Y descubriré poco a poco, a cámara lenta, que lo que había imaginado que pasaría al bajarme del tren no era una recreación, sino algo real. Por tanto, no lo estaba imaginando, sino viviendo. Podía sospechar lo que iba a pasar con Valentina Barreiro, al fin y al cabo mi pareja durante veintidós años y fácilmente predecible, tanto que yo ya no era su exnovio sino su algoritmo, pero nunca, de ningún modo, detalles tan absurdos como que la encontraría apoyada en un coche concreto, ni el modelo de ese coche. 

Descubriré entonces que el paso previo al terror siempre es creer que no existe, el siguiente es asumir lo y aún hay otro más, el definitivo: encontrarle la ternura. Y solo entonces sabré por qué me extrañaba que no me hubiese preguntado por el accidente, y qué accidente era el que podía preocuparme sino el mío.

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