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«El Espíritu de la Navidad», de Jeanette Winterson

Durante años, la escritora inglesa Jeanette Winterson escribió un relato cada Navidad: cuentos llenos de fantasmas y de carámbanos, de trineos y de muérdago, pero con esa dosis de ironía y reflexión que solo ella es capaz de transmitir. Después, la autora de «Fruta prohibida» reunió doce de estos relatos en «Días de navidad» (Lumen, 2018), un libro conformado por historias para leerse en voz alta, en familia y frente al fuego de la chimenea. En este cuento que aquí publicamos, un relato titulado «El Espíritu de la Navidad», Winterson apela a la magia que se respira en esta época -un encanto que cobra vida a través de una niña- para hablar de cómo las dudas, las medias verdades y las rutinas afectan a las relaciones de pareja.

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Despu\u00e9s, la autora de \u00abFruta prohibida\u00bb reuni\u00f3 doce de estos relatos en \u00abD\u00edas de navidad\u00bb (Lumen, 2018), un libro conformado por historias para leerse en voz alta, en familia y frente al fuego de la chimenea. 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Hab\u00eda regalos por todas partes: cuadrangulares, con lazos; alargados, con cintas. Voluminosos, envueltos en papel de Santa Claus. Min\u00fasculos, tentadores como una pulsera de diamantes, \u00bfo decepcionantes como una chuleta de cordero?\u00a0<\/p><p>Hab\u00eda viandas almacenadas como si fuese a haber una guerra: pudines grandes como bombas explotaban en los estantes. D\u00e1tiles como balas se apilaban en salvas de cart\u00f3n. Una ristra de faisanes, como aviones de juguete, colgaba detr\u00e1s de la puerta trasera. Las casta\u00f1as estaban listas para asarlas al fuego. 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No hab\u00eda sitio para ti y yo compart\u00eda mi asiento con un reno de mimbre.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Hackles\u2026 \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a1Ay, Dios!, nos hab\u00edamos olvidado del gato.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Hackles no celebra la Navidad \u2014dije.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ponle esta cinta dorada alrededor de la cesta y sube.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfPrefieres que tengamos ahora la discusi\u00f3n navide\u00f1a o esperamos a estar en la carretera y que hayas olvidado el vino?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014El vino est\u00e1 debajo de la caja de galletas saladas.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Eso no es el vino, es el pavo. Es tan fresco que he tenido que ponerle cinta adhesiva para que dejara de intentar abrirse paso con las garras como una criatura de Poe.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No seas desagradable. Ese pavo tuvo una buena vida.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014T\u00fa tambi\u00e9n y no se me ocurre comerte.\u00a0<\/p><p>Corr\u00ed a morderte en el cuello. Me encanta tu cuello. 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El gato, la cinta dorada, el \u00e1rbol con lucecitas, el reno, los regalos, la comida y mi brazo asomando por la ventanilla, porque no hab\u00eda otro sitio donde ponerlo, partimos hacia la caba\u00f1a en el campo que hab\u00edamos alquilado para celebrar la Navidad.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pasamos entre los borrachos navide\u00f1os que lanzaban serpentinas y cantaban a Rudolph en solidaridad con su nariz colorada. Dijiste que a esas horas de la noche ser\u00eda m\u00e1s r\u00e1pido ir por el centro, y cuando arrancaste despacio en el sem\u00e1foro me pareci\u00f3 ver que se mov\u00eda algo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Espera! \u2014dije\u2014. \u00bfPuedes dar marcha atr\u00e1s?\u00a0<\/p><p>La calle estaba totalmente vac\u00eda, y retrocediste, con el motor gimiendo por el esfuerzo, hasta que estuvimos delante de BUYBUYBABY, los grandes almacenes m\u00e1s grandes del mundo, cerrados por fin a rega\u00f1adientes durante veinticuatro horas a partir de la medianoche de Nochebuena (la compra en l\u00ednea segu\u00eda disponible).\u00a0<\/p><p>Me ape\u00e9 del coche. En el escaparate principal de BUYBUYBABY hab\u00eda un decorado con un nacimiento, con san Jos\u00e9 y Mar\u00eda vestidos con ropa de esqu\u00ed y varios animales de granja calentitos con abrigos de cuadros escoceses. No hab\u00eda ni oro, ni incienso, ni mirra: estos tres reyes hab\u00edan comprado sus regalos en BBB. Le hab\u00edan regalado a Jes\u00fas una Xbox, una bicicleta y una bater\u00eda electr\u00f3nica.\u00a0<\/p><p>A su madre, Mar\u00eda, le hab\u00edan regalado una plancha de vapor.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pululando delante del nacimiento, con la nariz apretada al otro lado del cristal, hab\u00eda una ni\u00f1a peque\u00f1a.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 haces ah\u00ed? \u2014pregunt\u00e9.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Estoy atrapada \u2014respondi\u00f3 la ni\u00f1a.\u00a0<\/p><p>Volv\u00ed al coche y di unos golpecitos en tu ventanilla.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Se han dejado a una ni\u00f1a en la tienda\u2026 Tenemos que sacarla.\u00a0<\/p><p>Me acompa\u00f1aste a echar un vistazo. La ni\u00f1a nos salud\u00f3 con la mano. No mostraste demasiada convicci\u00f3n.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ser\u00e1 la hija de un guardia de seguridad \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Dice que est\u00e1 atrapada! 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Es un truco publicitario.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pero no te hice caso, estaba concentrada en el rostro del escaparate, que parec\u00eda cambiar a cada segundo, como si la luz jugase con \u00e9l, enmascarando y luego revelando su expresi\u00f3n. No eran los ojos de una ni\u00f1a.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Es nuestra responsabilidad \u2014dije en voz baja, dirigi\u00e9ndome no exactamente a ti.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No lo es \u2014respondiste\u2014. Vamos, llamar\u00e9 a la polic\u00eda por el camino.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Sacadme de aqu\u00ed! \u2014dijo la ni\u00f1a cuando te volviste hacia el coche.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Te prometo que enviaremos a alguien. 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as\u00ed, pasada la una de la madrugada, volvimos a ponernos en marcha, esta vez con mi brazo dentro del coche y la ni\u00f1a en el asiento de atr\u00e1s al lado de Hackles, que hab\u00eda salido de su cesta y ronroneaba. Al marcharnos mir\u00e9 por el espejo retrovisor y vi unas figuras oscuras que, una por una, se llevaban las bolsas de comida y los regalos.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Son la gente que vive en los portales \u2014dijo la ni\u00f1a, como si me leyera el pensamiento\u2014. No tienen nada.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Acabar\u00e1n deteni\u00e9ndonos \u2014dijiste t\u00fa\u2014. Robo en el escaparate de una tienda. Vertido de basuras en la v\u00eda p\u00fablica. Secuestro. Feliz Navidad a usted tambi\u00e9n, agente.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Hemos hecho lo que tocaba \u2014respond\u00ed yo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9, exactamente \u2014preguntaste\u2014, aparte de perder la mitad de las cosas que necesitamos y recoger a una ni\u00f1a perdida?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Pasa todos los a\u00f1os \u2014asegur\u00f3 la ni\u00f1a\u2014. De distintas maneras y en distintos sitios. Si nadie me libera antes de la ma\u00f1ana de Navidad, el mundo se vuelve m\u00e1s pesado. El mundo es m\u00e1s pesado de lo que cre\u00e9is.\u00a0<\/p><p>Seguimos en silencio un rato. El cielo estaba oscuro y tachonado de estrellas. Me imagin\u00e9 muy por encima de la carretera, contemplando el planeta Tierra, azul en la negrura y con manchas blancas en los polos. Era la vida y mi hogar.\u00a0<\/p><p>Una vez, cuando era peque\u00f1a, mi padre me regal\u00f3 una bola de cristal con la Tierra y estrellas. Me quedaba en la cama d\u00e1ndole vueltas, me dejaba vencer por el sue\u00f1o pensando en las estrellas, con una sensaci\u00f3n de ligereza y calidez y seguridad.\u00a0<\/p><p>El mundo es ingr\u00e1vido, est\u00e1 suspendido en el espacio, sin apoyo, un misterio gravitacional, calentado por el sol, enfriado por gases. Nuestro regalo.\u00a0<\/p><p>Sol\u00eda esforzarme por no quedarme dormida mientras contemplaba con los ojos entornados mi mundo silencioso y giratorio.\u00a0<\/p><p>Crec\u00ed. Mi padre muri\u00f3. La bola de cristal permanec\u00eda en su casa, en mi antigua habitaci\u00f3n. Cuando est\u00e1bamos vaci\u00e1ndola, se me resbal\u00f3 y el peque\u00f1o globo terr\u00e1queo cay\u00f3 del denso l\u00edquido cuajado de estrellas. No s\u00e9 por qu\u00e9, pero fue entonces cuando romp\u00ed a llorar.\u00a0<\/p><p>Deb\u00ed de alargar la mano por encima del asiento para coger la tuya mientras avanz\u00e1bamos de noche por la carretera.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 pasa? \u2014dijiste con dulzura.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Pensaba en mi padre.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Qu\u00e9 raro. Yo estaba pensando en mi madre.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 pensabas?\u00a0<\/p><p>Me apretaste la mano. Vi tu anillo, que brillaba a la luz verdosa del salpicadero. Me acuerdo de ese anillo y de cuando te lo regal\u00e9. Lo veo a diario pero hoy lo veo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ojal\u00e1 hubiese hecho m\u00e1s por ella, ojal\u00e1 hubi\u00e9semos hablado m\u00e1s, pero ahora es demasiado tarde \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Nunca os llevasteis bien.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfPor qu\u00e9? \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 tant\u00edsimos padres se llevan mal con los hijos?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfPor eso no quieres que tengamos hijos?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1No! No. El trabajo\u2026 Siempre hemos dicho que lo pensar\u00edamos\u2026, pero\u2026 s\u00ed, tal vez. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 iba a querer que mi hijo me odie? \u00bfEs que no hay suficiente odio en el mundo?\u00a0<\/p><p>Nunca me hab\u00edas hablado as\u00ed. Al mirar tu perfil, a la fantasmag\u00f3rica luz verdosa, vi la tensi\u00f3n de tu mand\u00edbula. Me gusta mucho tu cara. Iba a dec\u00edrtelo, pero me interrumpiste:\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No me hagas caso. Ser\u00e1 cosa de esta \u00e9poca. Supongo que son d\u00edas familiares.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00ed. \u00a1Qu\u00e9 desastre!\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9? \u00bfNuestra familia o la Navidad?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Las dos cosas. Ninguna de las dos. No me extra\u00f1a que todo el mundo se dedique a comprar. Es una actividad de desplazamiento. \u2014Sonre\u00edste, intentando levantarme el \u00e1nimo\u2014. Pensaba que te gustaban los regalos debajo del \u00e1rbol \u2014dije.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Y me gustan, pero \u00bfcu\u00e1ntos necesitamos?\u00a0<\/p><p>Estaba a punto de recordarte que hac\u00eda menos de una hora que me hab\u00edas gritado a la cara, cuando una voz del asiento trasero dijo:\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ojal\u00e1 el mundo pudiera librarse al menos de parte de lo que contiene. T\u00fa y yo nos volvimos. Repar\u00e9 en que la luz verdosa del coche no era la del salpicadero: era ella. Brillaba.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfCrees que adem\u00e1s es radiactiva? \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfAdem\u00e1s de qu\u00e9?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Adem\u00e1s de\u2026, bueno, adem\u00e1s\u2026, no s\u00e9, adem\u00e1s de\u2026\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfY si es quien dice ser?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No ha dicho qui\u00e9n es. \u2014S\u00ed, es\u2026\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Soy el Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad \u2014dijo la ni\u00f1a.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfY si esta noche nos est\u00e1 ocurriendo algo extraordinario? \u2014apunt\u00e9 yo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfUna ni\u00f1a desconocida en un viaje al que vamos como pollos sin cabeza?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Al menos es temporal.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014El pollo sin cabeza.\u00a0<\/p><p>Esta vez me apretaste la mano y vi que el m\u00fasculo de tu mand\u00edbula se relajaba un poco.\u00a0<\/p><p>Quiero hablarte del amor, y de lo mucho que te quiero, y de que te quiero como al sol naciente, todos los d\u00edas, y de que quererte ha hecho mi vida mejor y m\u00e1s feliz. S\u00e9 que te avergonzar\u00eda, as\u00ed que no digo nada.\u00a0<\/p><p>Encendiste la radio. \u00ab\u00a1Que los \u00e1ngeles tocan\u2026!\u00bb\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00ab\u00bfQu\u00e9 nuevas me tra\u00e9is?\u00bb \u2014cantaste t\u00fa.\u00a0<\/p><p>Vi que observabas a la ni\u00f1a por el espejo retrovisor.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Si todo va seg\u00fan lo previsto \u2014dijiste\u2014, tendr\u00edamos que ver a Santa con un tiro de renos. \u00bfQu\u00e9 dices t\u00fa, Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Gira aqu\u00ed a la derecha, por favor! \u2014dijo la voz del asiento trasero.\u00a0<\/p><p>Obedeces. Dudas, pero obedeces, porque no es una ni\u00f1a como las dem\u00e1s.\u00a0<\/p><p>Te desviaste por un camino oscuro, aceleraste y frenaste en seco.\u00a0<\/p><p>Posado en el tejado de una bonita casa georgiana con una guirnalda de acebo en la puerta de color azul, hab\u00eda un trineo tirado por seis renos astados.\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa Claus nos sonri\u00f3 y nos salud\u00f3 con la mano. La ni\u00f1a respondi\u00f3 al saludo y se ape\u00f3 del coche. Para ella las puertas no ten\u00edan seguros. Hackles la sigui\u00f3.\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa dio una palmada. La casa estaba a oscuras, pero una mano invisible abri\u00f3 desde dentro una de las ventanas de guillotina del primer piso; tres sacos llenos cayeron al suelo con un golpe sordo. Santa Claus se los ech\u00f3 al hombro como si nada y los meti\u00f3 en el trineo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Est\u00e1 desvalijando la casa! \u2014dijiste, abriendo la puerta del coche y saliendo\u2014. \u00a1Eh, t\u00fa!\u00a0<\/p><p>La figura de rojo se acerc\u00f3 alegremente, dando zancadas con las botas y frot\u00e1ndose las manos.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Solo podemos ofrecer este servicio una vez al a\u00f1o \u2014te dijo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 pu\u00f1etero servicio?\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa Claus aprovech\u00f3 la oportunidad para cargar la pipa. Exhal\u00f3 unos anillos de humo en forma de estrella, azulados en el aire blanquecino.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014En los viejos tiempos dej\u00e1bamos regalos porque la gente casi no ten\u00eda nada. Ahora tiene demasiadas cosas, as\u00ed que nos escribe para que nos las llevemos. No te haces una idea de lo bien que se siente uno al despertarse la ma\u00f1ana de Navidad y ver que todo ha desaparecido. \u2014Santa rebusc\u00f3 en uno de los sacos\u2014. Mira, unas pinzas para rizar el pelo, sales de ba\u00f1o para un a\u00f1o entero, m\u00e1s calcetines de los que le hacen falta a nadie, ajo confitado en aceite de oliva, todo lo necesario para bordar una torre Eiffel, dos cerdos de porcelana.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfY ahora qu\u00e9? \u2014dijiste con una mezcla de enfado y desconcierto\u2014. \u00bfAl mercadillo de A\u00f1o Nuevo?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ven a verlo, si quieres \u2014dijo Santa\u2014. S\u00edgueme.\u00a0<\/p><p>Se meti\u00f3 la pipa en el bolsillo y subi\u00f3 al trineo. El Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad le acompa\u00f1\u00f3, con Hackles.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Eh, ese gato es nuestro! \u2014gritaste a la parte de atr\u00e1s del trineo, que acababa de alzarse en el aire.\u00a0<\/p><p>El Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad parec\u00eda muy pagada de s\u00ed misma.\u00a0<\/p><p>Subimos al coche y seguimos el trineo lo mejor que pudimos, pese a que acort\u00f3 campo a trav\u00e9s.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Es una especie de aerodeslizador autopropulsado \u2014dijiste\u2014. \u00bfC\u00f3mo nos hemos metido en este l\u00edo?\u00a0<\/p><p>Ahora hab\u00edamos salido de la carretera por un camino que amenazaba con destrozar la suspensi\u00f3n del coche. Sujetabas el volante con las manos.\u00a0<\/p><p>El trineo se pos\u00f3. Pocos minutos despu\u00e9s le dimos alcance.\u00a0<\/p><p>Nos hall\u00e1bamos a la puerta de una caba\u00f1a oscura y ajada por la intemperie. Las tejas estaban sueltas y de los canalones colgaban car\u00e1mbanos, como esos el\u00e9ctricos que compra la gente para decorar, solo que no eran el\u00e9ctricos ni decorativos. Los tablones de la cerca estaban afianzados con pedazos de alambre y la puerta se sujetaba con una piedra. Un perro viejo dormitaba a la puerta abierta de una caravana abandonada.\u00a0<\/p><p>Cuando el perro levant\u00f3 la cabeza para ladrar, Santa Claus lanz\u00f3 un hueso reluciente por el aire. El viejo perro lo cogi\u00f3 encantado al vuelo.\u00a0<\/p><p>Mientras los renos com\u00edan musgo del morral, Santa y el Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad fueron a la casa y abrieron la puerta.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfEs una trampa? \u00bfComo en <em>Amenaza en la sombra?<\/em> \u00bfNos van a matar?\u00a0<\/p><p>Not\u00e9 que ten\u00edas miedo. Yo no, pero es que yo cre\u00eda.\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa sali\u00f3 de la caba\u00f1a, un poco encorvado por el peso de una bolsa comida por la polilla. Llevaba una tartaleta de manzana y un vaso de whisky en la mano.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Casi nadie deja nada ya \u2014dijo, apurando el whisky de un trago\u2014, pero conozco esta casa y ellos me conocen a m\u00ed. El dolor y la necesidad tienen que desaparecer esta noche. Mi poder dura solo una noche.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 poder? \u2014preguntaste\u2014. \u00bfD\u00f3nde est\u00e1 la ni\u00f1a? \u00bfQu\u00e9 has hecho con mi gato?\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa se\u00f1al\u00f3 la caba\u00f1a con las ventanas iluminadas por la extra\u00f1a luz verde que acompa\u00f1aba a la ni\u00f1a. Vimos con claridad, incluso desde lejos, que la mesa ten\u00eda un mantel limpio y que la ni\u00f1a estaba colocando en ella un jam\u00f3n, una empanada y queso mientras Hackles ronroneaba con la cola levantada.\u00a0<\/p><p>Santa sonri\u00f3 y volc\u00f3 el saco en el trineo. Lo que cay\u00f3 estaba ra\u00eddo, viejo y roto. Sac\u00f3 los trozos de un plato, una chaqueta desgarrada y una mu\u00f1eca sin cabeza. El saco qued\u00f3 vac\u00edo.<\/p><p>Sin decir palabra, te ofreci\u00f3 el saco vac\u00edo y se\u00f1al\u00f3 el coche. Quiere que lo llenes, pens\u00e9. Hazlo, por favor; hazlo.\u00a0<\/p><p>No me atrev\u00ed a verbalizar esto. Era para ti. Sobre ti.\u00a0<\/p><p>Dudaste, y luego abriste todas las puertas del coche y comenzaste a meter regalos y comida en el saco. Era un saco peque\u00f1o, pero, por muchas cosas que metieras, no hab\u00eda manera de llenarlo. Vi que mirabas lo que quedaba.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014D\u00e1selo todo \u2014dije.\u00a0<\/p><p>Te inclinaste hacia delante y empezaste a coger lo que hab\u00eda en el asiento de atr\u00e1s. El coche ya estaba casi vac\u00edo, solo quedaba el reno de mimbre, y parec\u00eda demasiado rid\u00edculo para regal\u00e1rselo a nadie.\u00a0<\/p><p>Le diste el saco a la figura vestida de rojo, que te miraba con intensidad.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No me lo has dado todo \u2014dijo.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Si te refieres al reno de mimbre\u2026\u00a0<\/p><p>Para entonces el Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad hab\u00eda salido de la casa, con Hackles en brazos. Tambi\u00e9n \u00e9l desprend\u00eda luz verde. Yo nunca hab\u00eda visto un gato verde.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Dale lo que temes \u2014te dijo la chica.\u00a0<\/p><p>Se produjo un silencio, un silencio total. Yo apart\u00e9 la vista como hice cuando te ped\u00ed que te casaras conmigo sin saber lo que contestar\u00edas.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00ed \u2014dijiste\u2014. S\u00ed.\u00a0<\/p><p>Se oy\u00f3 un golpe terrible y el saco cay\u00f3 al suelo con todo su peso. 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al coche y volvimos por el mismo camino.\u00a0<\/p><p>La escarcha hab\u00eda iluminado el suelo y endurecido las estrellas. Detr\u00e1s de las paredes de piedra seca, las ovejas se api\u00f1aban en los campos. Dos caballos de caza corr\u00edan a lo largo de la cerca, con el aliento humeando como si fuesen dragones.\u00a0<\/p><p>Al cabo de un rato paraste el coche y te apeaste. Te segu\u00ed. Te abrac\u00e9. O\u00ed c\u00f3mo te lat\u00eda el coraz\u00f3n.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9 hacemos ahora que lo hemos dado todo? \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfNo nos queda nada?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Una bolsa de comida detr\u00e1s del asiento del copiloto y esto\u2026\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Te hurgaste en el bolsillo y sacaste un mu\u00f1eco de nieve de chocolate envuelto en papel de aluminio.\u00a0<\/p><p>Nos re\u00edmos. Era tan tonto. Rompiste un trozo para d\u00e1rselo a la ni\u00f1a en el asiento de atr\u00e1s, pero estaba dormida.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No entiendo nada \u2014dijiste\u2014. \u00bfY t\u00fa?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No. \u00bfQueda algo de chocolate?\u00a0<\/p><p>Compartimos los \u00faltimos pedazos y te dije:\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfRecuerdas cuando nos conocimos y no ten\u00edamos dinero\u2026 est\u00e1bamos pagando los pr\u00e9stamos estudiantiles y yo ten\u00eda dos empleos y com\u00edamos salchichas y relleno el d\u00eda de Navidad, pero no pavo porque no pod\u00edamos permit\u00edrnoslo? Me bordaste un jersey.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Y una manga era m\u00e1s larga que otra.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Y yo te tall\u00e9 una silla de aquel fresno que hab\u00eda talado el Ayuntamiento. Dejaron la mitad del tronco en la calle. \u00bfTe acuerdas?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Dios, s\u00ed, y hac\u00eda un fr\u00edo espantoso porque viv\u00edas en aquella barcaza, y no quer\u00edas ir a casa conmigo porque odiabas a mi madre.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00a1Yo no odiaba a tu madre! Eras t\u00fa quien la odiaba.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00ed\u2026 \u2014dijiste despacio\u2014. Qu\u00e9 p\u00e9rdida de tiempo es el odio.\u00a0<\/p><p>Te volviste para mirarme. Ten\u00edas el gesto serio y no dijiste nada.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfTodav\u00eda me quieres?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00ed.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Yo te quiero, pero no lo digo lo suficiente, \u00bfverdad?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00e9 lo que sientes. Pero a veces\u2026 yo\u2026\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfS\u00ed?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Tengo la sensaci\u00f3n de que no me deseas. No quiero obligarte, pero echo de menos tu cuerpo. Nuestros besos y la cercan\u00eda, y, s\u00ed, tambi\u00e9n lo dem\u00e1s.\u00a0<\/p><p>Seguiste en silencio. Luego dijiste:\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Cuando Santa Claus, o lo que quiera que fuese, me pidi\u00f3 que le diese lo que tem\u00eda, comprend\u00ed que, si todo hubiese seguido en el coche menos t\u00fa\u2026 \u00bfQu\u00e9 pasar\u00eda si la casa, el trabajo, mi vida, todo lo que tengo siguiera en su sitio y t\u00fa no estuvieses? Y pens\u00e9: eso es lo que temo. Lo temo tanto que ni siquiera puedo pensarlo, pero est\u00e1 ah\u00ed todo el tiempo, como el anuncio de una guerra inminente.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQu\u00e9?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Que poco a poco te estoy apartando de m\u00ed.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQuieres apartarme de ti?\u00a0<\/p><p>Me besaste \u2014igual que nos bes\u00e1bamos antes\u2014 y not\u00e9 mis l\u00e1grimas, y luego repar\u00e9 en que eran tuyas.\u00a0<\/p><p>Volvimos a subir al coche y recorrimos los \u00faltimos kil\u00f3metros en direcci\u00f3n al pueblo, se distingu\u00edan los tejados irregulares a la luz desfalleciente de la luna. Pronto ser\u00eda de d\u00eda.\u00a0<\/p><p>Una figura encapuchada andaba por la carretera. Te pusiste a su lado y bajaste la ventanilla.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfQuiere que le llevemos? \u2014dijiste.\u00a0<\/p><p>La figura se volvi\u00f3 y nos mir\u00f3; era una mujer con un beb\u00e9. La mujer se quit\u00f3 la capucha; su rostro era hermoso y fuerte. Limpio y sin arrugas. Sonri\u00f3 y el beb\u00e9 sonri\u00f3 tambi\u00e9n. Era un beb\u00e9, pero sus ojos no eran los de un beb\u00e9.\u00a0<\/p><p>Instintivamente, mir\u00e9 al asiento trasero. El gato estaba enroscado en su cesta, pero la ni\u00f1a no estaba.\u00a0<\/p><p>En el cielo hab\u00eda una estrella con puntas, y vi luz por el este.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Es casi de d\u00eda \u2014dije.\u00a0<\/p><p>Hab\u00edas parado el coche. Apoyaste el codo en el volante y la cabeza en la mano.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014No s\u00e9 qu\u00e9 est\u00e1 pasando. \u00bfY t\u00fa?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Ya no est\u00e1. El Esp\u00edritu de la Navidad.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfLo hemos so\u00f1ado todo? \u00bfEstamos en casa, en la cama, esperando a despertar?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Vamos \u2014dije\u2014. Si es un sue\u00f1o, vayamos como son\u00e1mbulos hasta la caba\u00f1a. Ya no hay mucho que cargar.\u00a0<\/p><p>La mujer y el ni\u00f1o nos hab\u00edan adelantado, andando, andando, andando.\u00a0<\/p><p>Nos apeamos. Me cogiste de la mano.\u00a0<\/p><p>En otro tiempo repar\u00e1bamos en todo: en el agua que se acumulaba en la hiedra cubierta de frutos, en el mu\u00e9rdago sobre el roble de ramas oscuras, en el granero donde el b\u00faho se posaba debajo de las tejas, en el humo que se alzaba como un mensaje de las hogueras del bosque, en lo antiguo que era el tiempo y en que \u00e9ramos parte de \u00e9l.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 hab\u00edamos aprendido a apresurarnos todo el d\u00eda cuando todo el d\u00eda era lo \u00fanico que ten\u00edamos?\u00a0<\/p><p>La mujer segu\u00eda andando, con el futuro a cuestas, abrazada al milagro, el milagro que da a luz de nuevo al mundo y que nos brinda una segunda oportunidad.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 las cosas aut\u00e9nticas, las que de verdad importan, se confunden con tanta facilidad con las que apenas tienen importancia?\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Yo encender\u00e9 el fuego \u2014dije.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Despu\u00e9s \u2014respondiste t\u00fa\u2014. Quiero ir en sue\u00f1os hasta la cama contigo.\u00a0<\/p><p>Not\u00e9 tu timidez. Conozco tu dureza, pero recuerdo esta timidez. S\u00ed. Y s\u00ed. En sue\u00f1os o no. S\u00ed y s\u00ed.<\/p><p>Fuera, a trav\u00e9s de los campos surcados de niebla, o\u00ed las campanas que anunciaban el d\u00eda de Navidad.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"60\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"1ynu02e\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><strong>M\u00c1S CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/ficciones\/navidad-siniestra-de-jeanette-winterson\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00abNavidad siniestra\u00bb, de Jeanette Winterson<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/ficciones\/el-arbol-de-navidad-y-una-boda-de-fiodor-m-dostoievski\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00abEl \u00c1rbol de Navidad y una boda\u00bb, de Fi\u00f3dor M. Dostoievski<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/fenomenos\/dias-de-fantasmas-novela-gotica-libros-terror\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">D\u00edas de fantasmas... y de libros: un recorrido por la novela g\u00f3tica y de terror<\/a><\/span><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"20\",\"bottom\":\"20\",\"left\":\"20\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"solid\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"1\",\"right\":\"1\",\"bottom\":\"1\",\"left\":\"1\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"20\",\"right\":\"20\",\"bottom\":\"20\",\"left\":\"20\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"zafq4ai\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_layout\":\"\",\"stretch_section\":\"section-stretched\",\"layout\":\"full_width\",\"content_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"gap\":\"default\",\"height\":\"default\",\"custom_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":400},\"column_position\":\"middle\",\"content_position\":\"\",\"structure\":\"10\",\"section_background\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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15 minutos
Londres, día de Navidad de 1971. Un niño de compras en la célebre juguetería Hamleys, ubicada en Regent Street. Crédito: Getty Images.

Londres, día de Navidad de 1971. Un niño de compras en la célebre juguetería Hamleys, ubicada en Regent Street. Crédito: Getty Images.

Era la noche antes de Navidad y nada se movía en ninguna habitación, porque hasta el ratón estaba exhausto. Había regalos por todas partes: cuadrangulares, con lazos; alargados, con cintas. Voluminosos, envueltos en papel de Santa Claus. Minúsculos, tentadores como una pulsera de diamantes, ¿o decepcionantes como una chuleta de cordero? 

Había viandas almacenadas como si fuese a haber una guerra: pudines grandes como bombas explotaban en los estantes. Dátiles como balas se apilaban en salvas de cartón. Una ristra de faisanes, como aviones de juguete, colgaba detrás de la puerta trasera. Las castañas estaban listas para asarlas al fuego. El pavo orgánico campero —un buen veterinario habría podido resucitarlo— estaba acurrucado junto a toneladas de papel de aluminio. 

—Menos mal que el cerdo de la noche de Reyes todavía está comiendo manzanas caídas en un huerto de Kent —dijiste mientras intentabas pasar por detrás de la mesa de la cocina. 

Yo me tambaleaba bajo el peso del pastel de Navidad, que era como una de esas claves de bóveda que los canteros de la Edad Media colocaban en las catedrales. Me lo quitaste de las manos y fuiste a meterlo en el coche. Había que meterlo, porque esa noche íbamos a ir al campo. Cuantas más cosas metías, más probable parecía que acabase conduciendo el pavo. No había sitio para ti y yo compartía mi asiento con un reno de mimbre. 

—Hackles… —dijiste. 

¡Ay, Dios!, nos habíamos olvidado del gato. 

—Hackles no celebra la Navidad —dije. 

—Ponle esta cinta dorada alrededor de la cesta y sube. 

—¿Prefieres que tengamos ahora la discusión navideña o esperamos a estar en la carretera y que hayas olvidado el vino? 

—El vino está debajo de la caja de galletas saladas. 

—Eso no es el vino, es el pavo. Es tan fresco que he tenido que ponerle cinta adhesiva para que dejara de intentar abrirse paso con las garras como una criatura de Poe. 

—No seas desagradable. Ese pavo tuvo una buena vida. 

—Tú también y no se me ocurre comerte. 

Corrí a morderte en el cuello. Me encanta tu cuello. Me apartaste en broma…, pero ¿serán imaginaciones mías o últimamente me apartas en serio? 

Esbozaste una sonrisita y volviste a meter las cosas en el coche.

Poco después de medianoche. El gato, la cinta dorada, el árbol con lucecitas, el reno, los regalos, la comida y mi brazo asomando por la ventanilla, porque no había otro sitio donde ponerlo, partimos hacia la cabaña en el campo que habíamos alquilado para celebrar la Navidad. 

Pasamos entre los borrachos navideños que lanzaban serpentinas y cantaban a Rudolph en solidaridad con su nariz colorada. Dijiste que a esas horas de la noche sería más rápido ir por el centro, y cuando arrancaste despacio en el semáforo me pareció ver que se movía algo. 

—¡Espera! —dije—. ¿Puedes dar marcha atrás? 

La calle estaba totalmente vacía, y retrocediste, con el motor gimiendo por el esfuerzo, hasta que estuvimos delante de BUYBUYBABY, los grandes almacenes más grandes del mundo, cerrados por fin a regañadientes durante veinticuatro horas a partir de la medianoche de Nochebuena (la compra en línea seguía disponible). 

Me apeé del coche. En el escaparate principal de BUYBUYBABY había un decorado con un nacimiento, con san José y María vestidos con ropa de esquí y varios animales de granja calentitos con abrigos de cuadros escoceses. No había ni oro, ni incienso, ni mirra: estos tres reyes habían comprado sus regalos en BBB. Le habían regalado a Jesús una Xbox, una bicicleta y una batería electrónica. 

A su madre, María, le habían regalado una plancha de vapor. 

Pululando delante del nacimiento, con la nariz apretada al otro lado del cristal, había una niña pequeña. 

—¿Qué haces ahí? —pregunté. 

—Estoy atrapada —respondió la niña. 

Volví al coche y di unos golpecitos en tu ventanilla. 

—Se han dejado a una niña en la tienda… Tenemos que sacarla. 

Me acompañaste a echar un vistazo. La niña nos saludó con la mano. No mostraste demasiada convicción. 

—Será la hija de un guardia de seguridad —dijiste. 

—¡Dice que está atrapada! Llama a la policía. 

La niña sonrió y negó con la cabeza cuando cogiste el teléfono. Había un no sé qué en su sonrisa que me hizo vacilar. 

—¿Quién eres? —pregunté. 

—El Espíritu de la Navidad. 

La oí con claridad. Hablaba con claridad. 

—No tengo cobertura —dijiste—. Prueba con el tuyo. 

Lo intenté con el mío. Estaba apagado. Miramos a ambos lados en la calle extrañamente desierta. Empecé a dejarme llevar por el pánico. Tiré y empujé las puertas de la tienda. Cerradas. No había limpiadoras. Ni portero. Era Nochebuena. 

Volvió a oírse la voz: 

—Soy el Espíritu de la Navidad. 

—¡Ah!, vamos anda —dijiste—. Es un truco publicitario. 

Pero no te hice caso, estaba concentrada en el rostro del escaparate, que parecía cambiar a cada segundo, como si la luz jugase con él, enmascarando y luego revelando su expresión. No eran los ojos de una niña. 

—Es nuestra responsabilidad —dije en voz baja, dirigiéndome no exactamente a ti. 

—No lo es —respondiste—. Vamos, llamaré a la policía por el camino. 

—¡Sacadme de aquí! —dijo la niña cuando te volviste hacia el coche. 

—Te prometo que enviaremos a alguien. Vamos a encontrar un teléfono… 

La niña me interrumpió: 

—Tienes que sacarme de aquí. ¿Puedes dejar algunos de vuestros regalos y un poco de comida en la puerta, justo ahí? 

Te diste la vuelta. 

—Esto es de locos. 

Pero era como si la niña me hubiese hipnotizado. 

—Sí —dije y, sin saber muy bien lo que hacía, fui al coche, abrí el portón trasero y empecé a arrastrar bultos envueltos en papel de regalo y bolsas de comida hasta la puerta de los grandes almacenes. Cada vez que dejaba algo en el suelo, tú lo recogías y volvías a meterlo en el coche. 

—Estás mal de la cabeza —dijiste—. Es un truco navideño…, seguro que nos están filmando. Es telerrealidad. 

—No, no es telerrealidad, ¡es real! —dije, y mi voz sonó muy lejana—. No es lo que sabemos, es lo que no sabemos… pero es cierto. Hazme caso, es cierto. 

—Muy bien —dijiste—, con tal de que volvamos a ponernos en camino… Aquí tienes las bolsas, ¿de acuerdo? Aquí y aquí. —Las soltaste en la puerta, con el rostro encendido de cansancio y exasperación. Conozco esa cara. 

Y retrocediste con los puños cerrados, sin pensar siquiera en la niña. 

De pronto se apagaron las luces del escaparate. Y la niña apareció en la calle entre tú y yo. 

Te cambió el gesto. Pusiste la mano en el suave cristal, tan transparente y cerrado como en un sueño. 

—¿Estamos soñando? —me dijiste—. ¿Cómo lo ha hecho? 

—Os acompaño —dijo la niña—. ¿Adónde vais?

Shirley Temple, estrella infantil estadounidense, posa frente a una ventana decorada con carámbanos y junto a un árbol cubierto de nieve, alrededor de 1940. Crédito: Getty Images.

Shirley Temple, estrella infantil estadounidense, posa frente a una ventana decorada con carámbanos y junto a un árbol cubierto de nieve, alrededor de 1940. Crédito: Getty Images.

Y así, pasada la una de la madrugada, volvimos a ponernos en marcha, esta vez con mi brazo dentro del coche y la niña en el asiento de atrás al lado de Hackles, que había salido de su cesta y ronroneaba. Al marcharnos miré por el espejo retrovisor y vi unas figuras oscuras que, una por una, se llevaban las bolsas de comida y los regalos. 

—Son la gente que vive en los portales —dijo la niña, como si me leyera el pensamiento—. No tienen nada. 

—Acabarán deteniéndonos —dijiste tú—. Robo en el escaparate de una tienda. Vertido de basuras en la vía pública. Secuestro. Feliz Navidad a usted también, agente. 

—Hemos hecho lo que tocaba —respondí yo. 

—¿Qué, exactamente —preguntaste—, aparte de perder la mitad de las cosas que necesitamos y recoger a una niña perdida? 

—Pasa todos los años —aseguró la niña—. De distintas maneras y en distintos sitios. Si nadie me libera antes de la mañana de Navidad, el mundo se vuelve más pesado. El mundo es más pesado de lo que creéis. 

Seguimos en silencio un rato. El cielo estaba oscuro y tachonado de estrellas. Me imaginé muy por encima de la carretera, contemplando el planeta Tierra, azul en la negrura y con manchas blancas en los polos. Era la vida y mi hogar. 

Una vez, cuando era pequeña, mi padre me regaló una bola de cristal con la Tierra y estrellas. Me quedaba en la cama dándole vueltas, me dejaba vencer por el sueño pensando en las estrellas, con una sensación de ligereza y calidez y seguridad. 

El mundo es ingrávido, está suspendido en el espacio, sin apoyo, un misterio gravitacional, calentado por el sol, enfriado por gases. Nuestro regalo. 

Solía esforzarme por no quedarme dormida mientras contemplaba con los ojos entornados mi mundo silencioso y giratorio. 

Crecí. Mi padre murió. La bola de cristal permanecía en su casa, en mi antigua habitación. Cuando estábamos vaciándola, se me resbaló y el pequeño globo terráqueo cayó del denso líquido cuajado de estrellas. No sé por qué, pero fue entonces cuando rompí a llorar. 

Debí de alargar la mano por encima del asiento para coger la tuya mientras avanzábamos de noche por la carretera. 

—¿Qué pasa? —dijiste con dulzura. 

—Pensaba en mi padre. 

—Qué raro. Yo estaba pensando en mi madre. 

—¿Qué pensabas? 

Me apretaste la mano. Vi tu anillo, que brillaba a la luz verdosa del salpicadero. Me acuerdo de ese anillo y de cuando te lo regalé. Lo veo a diario pero hoy lo veo. 

—Ojalá hubiese hecho más por ella, ojalá hubiésemos hablado más, pero ahora es demasiado tarde —dijiste. 

—Nunca os llevasteis bien. 

—¿Por qué? ¿Por qué tantísimos padres se llevan mal con los hijos? 

—¿Por eso no quieres que tengamos hijos? 

—¡No! No. El trabajo… Siempre hemos dicho que lo pensaríamos…, pero… sí, tal vez. ¿Por qué iba a querer que mi hijo me odie? ¿Es que no hay suficiente odio en el mundo? 

Nunca me habías hablado así. Al mirar tu perfil, a la fantasmagórica luz verdosa, vi la tensión de tu mandíbula. Me gusta mucho tu cara. Iba a decírtelo, pero me interrumpiste: 

—No me hagas caso. Será cosa de esta época. Supongo que son días familiares. 

—Sí. ¡Qué desastre! 

—¿Qué? ¿Nuestra familia o la Navidad? 

—Las dos cosas. Ninguna de las dos. No me extraña que todo el mundo se dedique a comprar. Es una actividad de desplazamiento. —Sonreíste, intentando levantarme el ánimo—. Pensaba que te gustaban los regalos debajo del árbol —dije. 

—Y me gustan, pero ¿cuántos necesitamos? 

Estaba a punto de recordarte que hacía menos de una hora que me habías gritado a la cara, cuando una voz del asiento trasero dijo: 

—Ojalá el mundo pudiera librarse al menos de parte de lo que contiene. Tú y yo nos volvimos. Reparé en que la luz verdosa del coche no era la del salpicadero: era ella. Brillaba. 

—¿Crees que además es radiactiva? —dijiste. 

—¿Además de qué? 

—Además de…, bueno, además…, no sé, además de… 

—¿Y si es quien dice ser? 

—No ha dicho quién es. —Sí, es… 

—Soy el Espíritu de la Navidad —dijo la niña. 

—¿Y si esta noche nos está ocurriendo algo extraordinario? —apunté yo. 

—¿Una niña desconocida en un viaje al que vamos como pollos sin cabeza? 

—Al menos es temporal. 

—¿Qué? 

—El pollo sin cabeza. 

Esta vez me apretaste la mano y vi que el músculo de tu mandíbula se relajaba un poco. 

Quiero hablarte del amor, y de lo mucho que te quiero, y de que te quiero como al sol naciente, todos los días, y de que quererte ha hecho mi vida mejor y más feliz. Sé que te avergonzaría, así que no digo nada. 

Encendiste la radio. «¡Que los ángeles tocan…!» 

—«¿Qué nuevas me traéis?» —cantaste tú. 

Vi que observabas a la niña por el espejo retrovisor. 

—Si todo va según lo previsto —dijiste—, tendríamos que ver a Santa con un tiro de renos. ¿Qué dices tú, Espíritu de la Navidad? 

—¡Gira aquí a la derecha, por favor! —dijo la voz del asiento trasero. 

Obedeces. Dudas, pero obedeces, porque no es una niña como las demás. 

Te desviaste por un camino oscuro, aceleraste y frenaste en seco. 

Posado en el tejado de una bonita casa georgiana con una guirnalda de acebo en la puerta de color azul, había un trineo tirado por seis renos astados. 

Santa Claus nos sonrió y nos saludó con la mano. La niña respondió al saludo y se apeó del coche. Para ella las puertas no tenían seguros. Hackles la siguió. 

Santa dio una palmada. La casa estaba a oscuras, pero una mano invisible abrió desde dentro una de las ventanas de guillotina del primer piso; tres sacos llenos cayeron al suelo con un golpe sordo. Santa Claus se los echó al hombro como si nada y los metió en el trineo. 

—¡Está desvalijando la casa! —dijiste, abriendo la puerta del coche y saliendo—. ¡Eh, tú! 

La figura de rojo se acercó alegremente, dando zancadas con las botas y frotándose las manos. 

—Solo podemos ofrecer este servicio una vez al año —te dijo. 

—¿Qué puñetero servicio? 

Santa Claus aprovechó la oportunidad para cargar la pipa. Exhaló unos anillos de humo en forma de estrella, azulados en el aire blanquecino. 

—En los viejos tiempos dejábamos regalos porque la gente casi no tenía nada. Ahora tiene demasiadas cosas, así que nos escribe para que nos las llevemos. No te haces una idea de lo bien que se siente uno al despertarse la mañana de Navidad y ver que todo ha desaparecido. —Santa rebuscó en uno de los sacos—. Mira, unas pinzas para rizar el pelo, sales de baño para un año entero, más calcetines de los que le hacen falta a nadie, ajo confitado en aceite de oliva, todo lo necesario para bordar una torre Eiffel, dos cerdos de porcelana. 

—¿Y ahora qué? —dijiste con una mezcla de enfado y desconcierto—. ¿Al mercadillo de Año Nuevo? 

—Ven a verlo, si quieres —dijo Santa—. Sígueme. 

Se metió la pipa en el bolsillo y subió al trineo. El Espíritu de la Navidad le acompañó, con Hackles. 

—¡Eh, ese gato es nuestro! —gritaste a la parte de atrás del trineo, que acababa de alzarse en el aire. 

El Espíritu de la Navidad parecía muy pagada de sí misma. 

Subimos al coche y seguimos el trineo lo mejor que pudimos, pese a que acortó campo a través. 

—Es una especie de aerodeslizador autopropulsado —dijiste—. ¿Cómo nos hemos metido en este lío? 

Ahora habíamos salido de la carretera por un camino que amenazaba con destrozar la suspensión del coche. Sujetabas el volante con las manos. 

El trineo se posó. Pocos minutos después le dimos alcance. 

Nos hallábamos a la puerta de una cabaña oscura y ajada por la intemperie. Las tejas estaban sueltas y de los canalones colgaban carámbanos, como esos eléctricos que compra la gente para decorar, solo que no eran eléctricos ni decorativos. Los tablones de la cerca estaban afianzados con pedazos de alambre y la puerta se sujetaba con una piedra. Un perro viejo dormitaba a la puerta abierta de una caravana abandonada. 

Cuando el perro levantó la cabeza para ladrar, Santa Claus lanzó un hueso reluciente por el aire. El viejo perro lo cogió encantado al vuelo. 

Mientras los renos comían musgo del morral, Santa y el Espíritu de la Navidad fueron a la casa y abrieron la puerta. 

—¿Es una trampa? ¿Como en Amenaza en la sombra? ¿Nos van a matar? 

Noté que tenías miedo. Yo no, pero es que yo creía. 

Santa salió de la cabaña, un poco encorvado por el peso de una bolsa comida por la polilla. Llevaba una tartaleta de manzana y un vaso de whisky en la mano. 

—Casi nadie deja nada ya —dijo, apurando el whisky de un trago—, pero conozco esta casa y ellos me conocen a mí. El dolor y la necesidad tienen que desaparecer esta noche. Mi poder dura solo una noche. 

—¿Qué poder? —preguntaste—. ¿Dónde está la niña? ¿Qué has hecho con mi gato? 

Santa señaló la cabaña con las ventanas iluminadas por la extraña luz verde que acompañaba a la niña. Vimos con claridad, incluso desde lejos, que la mesa tenía un mantel limpio y que la niña estaba colocando en ella un jamón, una empanada y queso mientras Hackles ronroneaba con la cola levantada. 

Santa sonrió y volcó el saco en el trineo. Lo que cayó estaba raído, viejo y roto. Sacó los trozos de un plato, una chaqueta desgarrada y una muñeca sin cabeza. El saco quedó vacío.

Sin decir palabra, te ofreció el saco vacío y señaló el coche. Quiere que lo llenes, pensé. Hazlo, por favor; hazlo. 

No me atreví a verbalizar esto. Era para ti. Sobre ti. 

Dudaste, y luego abriste todas las puertas del coche y comenzaste a meter regalos y comida en el saco. Era un saco pequeño, pero, por muchas cosas que metieras, no había manera de llenarlo. Vi que mirabas lo que quedaba. 

—Dáselo todo —dije. 

Te inclinaste hacia delante y empezaste a coger lo que había en el asiento de atrás. El coche ya estaba casi vacío, solo quedaba el reno de mimbre, y parecía demasiado ridículo para regalárselo a nadie. 

Le diste el saco a la figura vestida de rojo, que te miraba con intensidad. 

—No me lo has dado todo —dijo. 

—Si te refieres al reno de mimbre… 

Para entonces el Espíritu de la Navidad había salido de la casa, con Hackles en brazos. También él desprendía luz verde. Yo nunca había visto un gato verde. 

—Dale lo que temes —te dijo la chica. 

Se produjo un silencio, un silencio total. Yo aparté la vista como hice cuando te pedí que te casaras conmigo sin saber lo que contestarías. 

—Sí —dijiste—. Sí. 

Se oyó un golpe terrible y el saco cayó al suelo con todo su peso. Santa asintió, y con alguna dificultad cogió el saco y lo metió en el trineo. 

—Es hora de marcharse —dijo el Espíritu de la Navidad.

Circa 1914. Fotografía en blanco y negro de un gato vestido con un abrigo de piel, sombrero y manguito, tirando de un trineo con regalos y una corona. 1914. Crédito: Getty Images.

Circa 1914. Fotografía en blanco y negro de un gato vestido con un abrigo de piel, sombrero y manguito, tirando de un trineo con regalos y una corona. 1914. Crédito: Getty Images.

Subimos al coche y volvimos por el mismo camino. 

La escarcha había iluminado el suelo y endurecido las estrellas. Detrás de las paredes de piedra seca, las ovejas se apiñaban en los campos. Dos caballos de caza corrían a lo largo de la cerca, con el aliento humeando como si fuesen dragones. 

Al cabo de un rato paraste el coche y te apeaste. Te seguí. Te abracé. Oí cómo te latía el corazón. 

—¿Qué hacemos ahora que lo hemos dado todo? —dijiste. 

—¿No nos queda nada? 

—Una bolsa de comida detrás del asiento del copiloto y esto… 

—Te hurgaste en el bolsillo y sacaste un muñeco de nieve de chocolate envuelto en papel de aluminio. 

Nos reímos. Era tan tonto. Rompiste un trozo para dárselo a la niña en el asiento de atrás, pero estaba dormida. 

—No entiendo nada —dijiste—. ¿Y tú? 

—No. ¿Queda algo de chocolate? 

Compartimos los últimos pedazos y te dije: 

—¿Recuerdas cuando nos conocimos y no teníamos dinero… estábamos pagando los préstamos estudiantiles y yo tenía dos empleos y comíamos salchichas y relleno el día de Navidad, pero no pavo porque no podíamos permitírnoslo? Me bordaste un jersey. 

—Y una manga era más larga que otra. 

—Y yo te tallé una silla de aquel fresno que había talado el Ayuntamiento. Dejaron la mitad del tronco en la calle. ¿Te acuerdas? 

—Dios, sí, y hacía un frío espantoso porque vivías en aquella barcaza, y no querías ir a casa conmigo porque odiabas a mi madre. 

—¡Yo no odiaba a tu madre! Eras tú quien la odiaba. 

—Sí… —dijiste despacio—. Qué pérdida de tiempo es el odio. 

Te volviste para mirarme. Tenías el gesto serio y no dijiste nada. 

—¿Todavía me quieres? 

—Sí. 

—Yo te quiero, pero no lo digo lo suficiente, ¿verdad? 

—Sé lo que sientes. Pero a veces… yo… 

—¿Sí? 

—Tengo la sensación de que no me deseas. No quiero obligarte, pero echo de menos tu cuerpo. Nuestros besos y la cercanía, y, sí, también lo demás. 

Seguiste en silencio. Luego dijiste: 

—Cuando Santa Claus, o lo que quiera que fuese, me pidió que le diese lo que temía, comprendí que, si todo hubiese seguido en el coche menos tú… ¿Qué pasaría si la casa, el trabajo, mi vida, todo lo que tengo siguiera en su sitio y tú no estuvieses? Y pensé: eso es lo que temo. Lo temo tanto que ni siquiera puedo pensarlo, pero está ahí todo el tiempo, como el anuncio de una guerra inminente. 

—¿Qué? 

—Que poco a poco te estoy apartando de mí. 

—¿Quieres apartarme de ti? 

Me besaste —igual que nos besábamos antes— y noté mis lágrimas, y luego reparé en que eran tuyas. 

Volvimos a subir al coche y recorrimos los últimos kilómetros en dirección al pueblo, se distinguían los tejados irregulares a la luz desfalleciente de la luna. Pronto sería de día. 

Una figura encapuchada andaba por la carretera. Te pusiste a su lado y bajaste la ventanilla. 

—¿Quiere que le llevemos? —dijiste. 

La figura se volvió y nos miró; era una mujer con un bebé. La mujer se quitó la capucha; su rostro era hermoso y fuerte. Limpio y sin arrugas. Sonrió y el bebé sonrió también. Era un bebé, pero sus ojos no eran los de un bebé. 

Instintivamente, miré al asiento trasero. El gato estaba enroscado en su cesta, pero la niña no estaba. 

En el cielo había una estrella con puntas, y vi luz por el este. 

—Es casi de día —dije. 

Habías parado el coche. Apoyaste el codo en el volante y la cabeza en la mano. 

—No sé qué está pasando. ¿Y tú? 

—Ya no está. El Espíritu de la Navidad. 

—¿Lo hemos soñado todo? ¿Estamos en casa, en la cama, esperando a despertar? 

—Vamos —dije—. Si es un sueño, vayamos como sonámbulos hasta la cabaña. Ya no hay mucho que cargar. 

La mujer y el niño nos habían adelantado, andando, andando, andando. 

Nos apeamos. Me cogiste de la mano. 

En otro tiempo reparábamos en todo: en el agua que se acumulaba en la hiedra cubierta de frutos, en el muérdago sobre el roble de ramas oscuras, en el granero donde el búho se posaba debajo de las tejas, en el humo que se alzaba como un mensaje de las hogueras del bosque, en lo antiguo que era el tiempo y en que éramos parte de él. 

¿Por qué habíamos aprendido a apresurarnos todo el día cuando todo el día era lo único que teníamos? 

La mujer seguía andando, con el futuro a cuestas, abrazada al milagro, el milagro que da a luz de nuevo al mundo y que nos brinda una segunda oportunidad. 

¿Por qué las cosas auténticas, las que de verdad importan, se confunden con tanta facilidad con las que apenas tienen importancia? 

—Yo encenderé el fuego —dije. 

—Después —respondiste tú—. Quiero ir en sueños hasta la cama contigo. 

Noté tu timidez. Conozco tu dureza, pero recuerdo esta timidez. Sí. Y sí. En sueños o no. Sí y sí.

Fuera, a través de los campos surcados de niebla, oí las campanas que anunciaban el día de Navidad.

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