«Paz, amor, empatía. Kurt Cobain»: las últimas horas de la estrella que no soportaba brillar

{"id":1938,"id_simpleblog_post":"1938","id_simpleblog_category":"64","id_simpleblog_post_type":"1","id_simpleblog_author":"0","author":"Charles R. Cross","author_url":"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/1242-charles-r-cross","likes":"0","views":"13374","allow_comments":"2","is_featured":"1","access":"a:6:{i:1;b:1;i:2;b:1;i:3;b:1;i:4;b:0;i:5;b:0;i:6;b:0;}","cover":"jpg","featured":"jpg","id_product":"26572,230198","id_category_tematica":"70,116093,58,57,167673,116110,69","id_category_autor":"1242","id_category_editorial":"11345","id_event":"0","active":"1","title":"\u00abPaz, amor, empat\u00eda. Kurt Cobain\u00bb: las \u00faltimas horas de la estrella que no soportaba brillar","meta_title":"\u00abPaz, amor, empat\u00eda. Kurt Cobain\u00bb: las \u00faltimas horas de la estrella que no soportaba brillar","meta_description":"Cuando se cumple 30 a\u00f1os de la muerte de la estrella que no quiso brillar, LENGUA publica un extracto de la biograf\u00eda \u00abHeavier than Heaven\u00bb que repasa las \u00faltimas horas en la vida del malogrado \u00eddolo de toda una generaci\u00f3n.","meta_keywords":"Revista LENGUA, Libros de m\u00fasica, biograf\u00edas de cantantes, suicidio de Kurt Cobain","short_content":"<p>El 8 de abril de 1994, Kurt Cobain, l\u00edder de Nirvana, fue encontrado muerto en su casa de Seattle. Los forenses determinaron que hab\u00eda fallecido tres d\u00edas antes, el 5 de abril. El informe del incidente indic\u00f3 que el cuerpo fue hallado con una escopeta sobre el pecho, hab\u00eda sufrido una herida de bala visible en la cabeza y que se hab\u00eda descubierto una nota de suicidio cerca. Las \u00faltimas palabras de la citada nota fueron las siguientes: \u00abPor favor, Courtney, sigue adelante, por Frances, por su vida, que ser\u00e1 mucho m\u00e1s feliz sin m\u00ed. Os quiero. Os quiero\u00bb. Pese a las teor\u00edas conspirativas que defend\u00edan que el gran abanderado del movimiento grunge hab\u00eda sido asesinado, lo cierto es que el suicidio fue el \u00faltimo acto que defini\u00f3 la personalidad del m\u00fasico tras una existencia repleta de rabia, dolor e inspiraci\u00f3n. Cuando se cumple 30 a\u00f1os de la muerte de la estrella que no quiso brillar, LENGUA publica un extracto de \u00abHeavier than Heaven\u00bb (Reservoir Books), una biograf\u00eda de referencia escrita tras m\u00e1s de 400 entrevistas y cuatro a\u00f1os de investigaci\u00f3n, en el que su autor, el periodista cultural Charles R. Cross, repasa las \u00faltimas horas en la vida del malogrado \u00eddolo de toda una generaci\u00f3n.<\/p>","full_content":"","content":"[{\"id\":\"y7hbskm\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_layout\":\"\",\"stretch_section\":\"\",\"layout\":\"boxed\",\"content_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"gap\":\"default\",\"height\":\"default\",\"custom_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":400},\"column_position\":\"middle\",\"content_position\":\"\",\"structure\":\"10\",\"section_background\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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desde la voz de la experiencia de un simpl\u00f3n que sin duda preferir\u00eda ser un quejica infantil y castrado. Esta nota deber\u00eda ser muy f\u00e1cil de entender. Todas las advertencias que me hicieron en los 101 cursos de punk rock impartidos a lo largo de los a\u00f1os, desde mi primer contacto con la, digamos, \u00e9tica de la independencia y la vinculaci\u00f3n con la comunidad a la que uno pertenece, han resultado ser ciertas. Ya hace demasiado tiempo que no me emociono ni escuchando ni creando m\u00fasica, ni tampoco leyendo ni escribiendo. Me siento incre\u00edblemente culpable por ello. Por ejemplo, cuando se apagan las luces antes de un concierto y se oyen los gritos exaltados de la multitud, a m\u00ed no me afectan tal como le afectaban a Freddy Mercury, a quien parec\u00edan encantarle, y se deleitaba con el amor y la veneraci\u00f3n del p\u00fablico. Lo cual admiro y envidio much\u00edsimo. El hecho es que no os puedo enga\u00f1ar. A ninguno de vosotros. Simplemente no ser\u00eda justo ni para vosotros ni para m\u00ed. El peor delito que se me ocurre ser\u00eda timar a la gente fingiendo que estoy disfrutando al cien por cien. A veces tengo la sensaci\u00f3n de que tendr\u00eda que fichar antes de subir al escenario. He hecho todo lo posible para valorarlo, y lo sigo haciendo, creedme, de verdad, pero no es suficiente. Soy consciente de que yo, y nosotros, hemos emocionado y entretenido a mucha gente. Debo de ser uno de esos narcisistas que solo valoran las cosas cuando ya han desaparecido. Soy demasiado sensible. Necesito estar un poco anestesiado para recuperar el entusiasmo que un d\u00eda tuve de ni\u00f1o. En estas tres \u00faltimas giras he llegado a valorar mucho m\u00e1s a toda la gente que he conocido personalmente o como fans de nuestra m\u00fasica, pero a pesar de ello no puedo superar la frustraci\u00f3n, el sentimiento de culpa y la empat\u00eda que siento por todo el mundo. El bien existe en cada uno de nosotros y creo que simplemente quiero a la gente demasiado. Tanto que me hace sentir triste a m\u00e1s no poder. El t\u00edpico Piscis triste, sensible, ingrato, \u00a1joder, t\u00edo! \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 no puedes disfrutar sin m\u00e1s? No lo s\u00e9. Tengo una diosa como mujer, llena de ambici\u00f3n y empat\u00eda, y una hija que me recuerda demasiado a como era yo. Rebosante de amor y alegr\u00eda, que besa a todo el mundo porque para ella todo el mundo es bueno y cree que no le har\u00e1n ning\u00fan da\u00f1o. Y eso me asusta tanto que casi me paraliza. No puedo soportar la idea de que Frances se convierta en una rockera siniestra, miserable y autodestructiva como yo. Me va bien, muy bien, y estoy agradecido, pero desde los siete a\u00f1os he sentido un odio creciente hacia todos los seres humanos en general. Solo porque parece que a la gente le resulta f\u00e1cil llevarse bien y sentir empat\u00eda. \u00a1Empat\u00eda! Solo porque amo y me compadezco demasiado de la gente, supongo. Gracias a todos desde lo m\u00e1s profundo de mi est\u00f3mago ardiente y nauseabundo por vuestras cartas e inter\u00e9s durante los \u00faltimos a\u00f1os. \u00a1Soy una criatura voluble y lun\u00e1tica! Se me ha acabado la pasi\u00f3n as\u00ed que recordad, es mejor arder que apagarse 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La redacci\u00f3n de la nota le hab\u00eda costado tres cigarrillos. Las palabras no le hab\u00edan salido con facilidad, y hab\u00eda faltas de ortograf\u00eda y frases incompletas. No tuvo tiempo de reescribir aquella carta veinte veces como hab\u00eda hecho en muchas ocasiones en sus diarios; se hac\u00eda de d\u00eda y necesitaba actuar antes de que el resto del mundo despertara. Para concluir la misiva puso \u00abPaz, amor, empat\u00eda. Kurt Cobain\u00bb, prefiriendo escribir su nombre completo a estampar su firma. Subray\u00f3 la palabra \u00abempat\u00eda\u00bb dos veces, un t\u00e9rmino que hab\u00eda empleado en cinco ocasiones a lo largo del escrito. A\u00f1adi\u00f3 una l\u00ednea final \u2013\u00abFrances y Courtney, estar\u00e9 en vuestro altar\u00bb\u2013 y se meti\u00f3 el papel y el bol\u00edgrafo en el bolsillo izquierdo del abrigo. En el equipo de m\u00fasica sonaba la voz de Stipe cantando \u00abMan on the Moon\u00bb. A Kurt siempre le hab\u00eda encantado Andy Kaufman; sus amigos del colegio de Montesano sol\u00edan mondarse de risa cuando Kurt imitaba el personaje de Latka en <em>Taxi.\u00a0<\/em><\/p><p>Kurt se levant\u00f3 de la cama y entr\u00f3 en el armario, donde retir\u00f3 de su sitio un tabl\u00f3n de la pared. Dentro de aquel cub\u00edculo secreto hab\u00eda una funda de escopeta de nailon de color beige, una caja de cartuchos y una caja de puros Tom Moore. Volvi\u00f3 a colocar el tabl\u00f3n en su sitio, se meti\u00f3 los cartuchos en el bolsillo, cogi\u00f3 la caja de puros y se carg\u00f3 la pesada escopeta sobre el antebrazo izquierdo. De un armario situado en el pasillo sac\u00f3 dos toallas; \u00e9l no las necesitaba, pero har\u00edan falta despu\u00e9s. Empat\u00eda. Baj\u00f3 despacio los diecinueve escalones de la amplia escalera. Estaba a solo unos metros de la habitaci\u00f3n de Cali y no quer\u00eda que nadie lo viera. 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Imagen de la casa de Kurt Cobain tomada el 8 de abril de 1994, el d\u00eda en que fue hallado el cuerpo sin vida del m\u00fasico. 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fum\u00f3 el \u00faltimo Camel Light y bebi\u00f3 otro sorbo de la Barq. Fuera amanec\u00eda ya un d\u00eda nublado, un d\u00eda como aquel en el que hab\u00eda venido al mundo, hac\u00eda veintisiete a\u00f1os, un mes y diecis\u00e9is d\u00edas. En una ocasi\u00f3n hab\u00eda tratado de describir aquel primer instante de su vida en su diario: \u00abMi primer recuerdo fue el de un suelo de azulejos de color verde agua claro y una mano muy fuerte cogi\u00e9ndome por los tobillos. Aquella fuerza me dej\u00f3 claro que ya no estaba en el agua y que no pod\u00eda volver. Trat\u00e9 de patalear y de retorcerme para regresar al agujero, pero me ten\u00edan bien agarrado, suspendido en la vagina de mi madre. Era como si me estuvieran tomando el pelo, y sent\u00eda c\u00f3mo el l\u00edquido y la sangre se evaporaban y me tensaban la piel. La realidad era el ox\u00edgeno que me consum\u00eda, y el olor esterilizado que me anunciaba que nunca m\u00e1s volver\u00eda al agujero, una sensaci\u00f3n de terror que nunca m\u00e1s podr\u00eda volver a repetirse. Sabiendo que aquello me consolaba, me dispuse a iniciar mi primer ritual de relaci\u00f3n con el nuevo entorno. No llor\u00e9\u00bb.\u00a0<\/p><p>Alcanz\u00f3 la caja de puros y sac\u00f3 una bolsita de pl\u00e1stico que conten\u00eda cien d\u00f3lares de goma, una cantidad de hero\u00edna considerable. Cogi\u00f3 la mitad, un trozo del tama\u00f1o de una goma de borrar, y la coloc\u00f3 en una cuchara. Con un proceder met\u00f3dico y habilidoso, prepar\u00f3 la hero\u00edna y la jeringuilla y se la inyect\u00f3 por encima del codo, cerca del tatuaje de \u00abK\u00bb. Volvi\u00f3 a guardar el material en la caja y se sinti\u00f3 flotar mientras se alejaba r\u00e1pidamente de aquel lugar. El jainismo predicaba que hab\u00eda treinta cielos y siete infiernos, todos ellos dispuestos en distintas capas a lo largo de nuestras vidas; si ten\u00eda suerte, aquel ser\u00eda su s\u00e9ptimo y \u00faltimo infierno. Apart\u00f3 la caja de puros, flotando cada vez m\u00e1s r\u00e1pido y sintiendo al mismo tiempo que la respiraci\u00f3n se le ralentizaba. Ten\u00eda que darse prisa: se estaba volviendo todo borroso, y un tono verde agua envolv\u00eda todos los objetos. Cogi\u00f3 la pesada escopeta y se la apoy\u00f3 en el paladar. Har\u00eda ruido; de eso estaba seguro. Y, acto seguido, desapareci\u00f3.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"50\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"i4qjhf9\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><strong>OTROS\u00a0CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/musica\/un-ano-y-un-dia-en-la-vida-de-patti-smith\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Un a\u00f1o (y un d\u00eda) en la vida de Patti Smith<\/a><\/span><br \/><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><strong><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/musica\/bono-u2-stories-of-surrender\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Solo Bono puede salvar el \u00abrock 'n' roll\u00bb<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/musica\/quien-era-gata-cattana\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">\u00bfQui\u00e9n era Gata Cattana?<\/a><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/novelas-alcohol-y-sobredosis-el-hotel-chelsea-en-catorce-escritores\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Novelas, alcohol y sobredosis: el hotel Chelsea en catorce escritores<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p><p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/no-ficcion\/cuando-valerie-solanas-disparo-a-andy-warhol\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Cuando Valerie Solanas dispar\u00f3 a Andy Warhol: cronolog\u00eda de un intento de magnicidio<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p><p 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