Mapa de las Lenguas 2023

«Miramar», de Gloria Peirano: escribir en el jardín de Derek Jarman

Todo mapa es una representación del mundo que refleja la visión de quien lo dibuja, y el Mapa de las Lenguas no tiene fronteras ni capitales: once libros, un año y un territorio común para la literatura de veintiún países que comparten un idioma con tantas voces y lenguas como hablantes. Invitados por LENGUA, los autores de la edición de 2023 exponen su geografía literaria y explican cómo ésta encaja en esta colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura en español. Aquí, Gloria Peirano escribe sobre «Miramar».

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hace un tiempo, tratando de que germinaran carozos de palta. Segu\u00ed un tutorial de YouTube que indicaba c\u00f3mo hacerlo. Puse el hueso de la palta, atravesado por tres escarbadientes, en forma de tr\u00edpode, encima de un frasco con agua. El agua deb\u00eda llegar hasta la mitad del hueso, hab\u00eda que cambiarla cada dos d\u00edas. Una ma\u00f1ana, el hueso apareci\u00f3 quebrado, lo cruzaba por el medio una l\u00ednea fina, una cicatriz. Se supon\u00eda que estaba funcionando. El lamido del agua alcanzaba un extremo de la cicatriz. En el pasado de ese frasco, se aventuraban l\u00edneas emocionales y varias ramificaciones: una, central, era mi palto de la calle Aguirre, el que estaba en la casa que ahora forma parte del barrio devenido <em>outlet<\/em> en Villa Crespo. Fue un palto que am\u00e9, del que me aliment\u00e9, que transform\u00f3 mi alimentaci\u00f3n y la de mis hijas. Eran paltas enormes que recog\u00edamos, subidos a una escalera, con un palo largo que llevaba atado en la punta un cuchillo tramontina y una bolsa de nailon. La casa fue demolida en 2008, sacaron el \u00e1rbol. Una ramificaci\u00f3n de esta emoci\u00f3n se activaba cuando pasaba por la casa de Aguirre, que alberga, hasta ahora, sucesivas tiendas de ropa. Conservaron la pinotea, as\u00ed que, al principio, cuando los pies me llevaban solos <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/ar\/revista-lengua\/comic\/liniers-gustavo-sala-buenos-aires-en-pelotas\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">desde Chacarita, donde vivo ahora, hasta Villa Crespo<\/a><\/span>, para ver qu\u00e9 hab\u00eda quedado despu\u00e9s de la demolici\u00f3n, varias veces me encontr\u00e9 casi en cuclillas mirando un tabl\u00f3n del piso que cre\u00eda reconocer. En lo que fue el patio, donde estaba el palto, estaban los probadores. Nunca entr\u00e9, nunca compr\u00e9 nada en las tiendas. Pas\u00e9, s\u00ed, la mano por las prendas en los percheros, un barrido de dedos ligeramente vengativo que culminaba en una tristeza de palto bajo la lluvia. Era el \u00fanico \u00e1rbol en un cantero sobre la tierra: los d\u00edas de lluvia se volv\u00eda a\u00fan m\u00e1s protag\u00f3nico. Otra vertiente de la emoci\u00f3n asociada al frasco fue Derek Yarman. Existi\u00f3 un pasadizo misterioso aunque reconocible entre mi decisi\u00f3n de obtener un \u00e1rbol de palta y <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/hicarquitectura.com\/2020\/05\/derek-jarman-prospect-cottage\/\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">su c\u00e9lebre jard\u00edn de Prospect Cottage<\/a><\/span>. Derek Jarman compr\u00f3 esa casa de Dungeness, Kent, en 1986, cuando estaba en la cima de su potencia creativa. All\u00ed fue donde film\u00f3 <em>The garden<\/em> y escribi\u00f3 el maravilloso libro <em>Naturaleza moderna.<\/em> Y all\u00ed fue donde cre\u00f3 su imposible jard\u00edn sobre una playa de guijarros, despu\u00e9s de recibir su diagn\u00f3stico de HIV y, m\u00e1s tarde, la sentencia de una enfermedad relacionada con el SIDA. Cerca de la casa, hab\u00eda una planta nuclear. Apenas cerr\u00e9 <em>Naturaleza moderna,<\/em> busqu\u00e9 c\u00f3mo germinar un hueso de palta. Creo que necesit\u00e9 rendir un homenaje privado a ese hombre solo que consigui\u00f3 cultivar un jard\u00edn en las condiciones m\u00e1s adversas, que involucraban vientos cargados de sal y suelos calc\u00e1reos.\u00a0<\/p><p>Necesit\u00e9 otra vez mi \u00e1rbol.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"1\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"hpng9r3\",\"elType\":\"section\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_layout\":\"\",\"stretch_section\":\"\",\"layout\":\"boxed\",\"content_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"gap\":\"default\",\"height\":\"default\",\"custom_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":400},\"column_position\":\"middle\",\"content_position\":\"\",\"structure\":\"20\",\"section_background\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/tematicas\/286279-ebook-miramar-9789877388688\\\"><em>Miramar<\/em><\/a><\/span> en la casa del palto. Part\u00ed, creo, de un n\u00facleo autobiogr\u00e1fico capaz de irradiar su fuerza durante demasiados a\u00f1os: mi padre, antes de morir, pidi\u00f3 el tel\u00e9fono e hizo una \u00faltima, secreta llamada. S\u00e9 poco sobre \u00e9l, los relatos familiares no lo favorecieron jam\u00e1s, de modo que alrededor de su figura se acumul\u00f3 una imaginaci\u00f3n frondosa, desproporcionada, cuya ra\u00edz se toca con la ra\u00edz de la escritura. Escrib\u00ed <em>Miramar<\/em> en la casa del palto, pero llevaba muchos a\u00f1os escribiendo el modo en que persiste aquello que ya no est\u00e1. \u00bfC\u00f3mo lo hago? \u00bfC\u00f3mo lo hice cuando se trat\u00f3 de <em>Miramar?<\/em> Oraci\u00f3n por oraci\u00f3n. Esa es la medida y el ritmo, esa la \u00fanica respuesta m\u00e1s o menos verdadera que puedo encontrar. Una oraci\u00f3n, luego otra. A pesar de que llevo conmigo la estructura general de la trama, sinceramente no s\u00e9 lo que viene despu\u00e9s de un segmento (palabra, construcci\u00f3n o frase) hasta que est\u00e1 escrito. Es decir, tuve, para <em>Miramar, como para <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/ar\/literatura-contemporanea\/164538-libro-la-ruta-de-los-hospitales-9789877385441\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">La ruta de los hospitales<\/a><\/span>,<\/em> y como para la novela que estoy escribiendo ahora, un plan estructural. Eso significa para m\u00ed andar con la novela a cuestas d\u00eda y noche. Luego, la nada misma. S\u00e9 hacia d\u00f3nde voy, no s\u00e9 c\u00f3mo. Lo s\u00e9 escribiendo. Escribo para escribir. Y eso es todo. Una vez terminada la novela, no logro ver la totalidad. Sigo viendo oraciones, una detr\u00e1s de otra. Podr\u00eda seguir corrigi\u00e9ndolas, visit\u00e1ndolas. Armo visitas con una podadora en la mano. Resto, corto, arreglo, paso a la siguiente oraci\u00f3n. Los dedos son ligeramente mal\u00e9volos y las ramificaciones emocionales son infinitas, descontroladas, pero el lenguaje las contiene. Entonces, aquello que crece en un terreno inc\u00f3modo, que parece no destinado a la escritura, una zona inh\u00f3spita incluso, a veces, llega a ser una novela. Me lleva a\u00f1os. Cuatro, en el caso de <em>Miramar.<\/em> Levantaba la cabeza, caminaba hacia un balconcito que daba al patio, ten\u00eda dos hijas peque\u00f1as, miraba mi \u00e1rbol. Tem\u00eda las tormentas, porque cuando las paltas estaban maduras y nos retras\u00e1bamos en la cosecha, el viento intenso las arrancaba y las proyectaba contra los vidrios de la galer\u00eda. Dos o tres veces, uno de los vidrios estall\u00f3. Pero si no era la \u00e9poca en el que \u00e1rbol daba sus frutos o si la lluvia era suave, lo \u00faltimo que miraba antes de volver a <em>Miramar<\/em> era ese patio. \u00bfQu\u00e9 miramos mientras escribimos? \u00bfQu\u00e9 territorio interno hace v\u00ednculo con lo exterior?\u00a0 Desde su jard\u00edn, \u00bfDerek Jarman miraba la planta nuclear, a la distancia, en el erial que rodeaba la casa, mientras cultivaba clavelinas, santolinas y amapolas? Levantaba conjuntos de esculturas de peque\u00f1as piedras, usaba madera tra\u00edda por las olas. Una gram\u00e1tica \u00e1rida, exigente.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"0\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}}],\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"axdc1ka\",\"elType\":\"column\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"_inline_size\":null,\"_column_size\":50,\"section_style\":\"\",\"background_background\":\"\",\"background_color\":\"\",\"background_color_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":0},\"background_color_b\":\"\",\"background_color_b_stop\":{\"unit\":\"%\",\"size\":100},\"background_gradient_type\":\"linear\",\"background_gradient_angle\":{\"unit\":\"deg\",\"size\":180},\"background_gradient_position\":\"center 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mirada que volv\u00eda del patio, cuando escrib\u00ed <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><em><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/literatura-contemporanea\/316585-libro-miramar-mapa-de-las-lenguas-9788420474922\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Miramar<\/a><\/em><\/span>, no ten\u00eda un cuarto propio. Criaba a mis hijas, trabajaba ocho horas diarias. La escritura era el jard\u00edn de Jarman, pero era tambi\u00e9n una sombra lateral, lejana, como la planta nuclear de Dungeness, como mi propio padre, como el mar de la infancia. Un padre que configura la amenaza de una planta nuclear en el relato materno es, indeciblemente, un padre inolvidable. Esa condici\u00f3n de lo indecible en lo autobiogr\u00e1fico fue, creo, lo que me llev\u00f3 a escribir <em>Miramar.<\/em> Nunca lo llor\u00e9, nunca sent\u00ed dolor. La imagen qued\u00f3 congelada. \u00bfEscuch\u00e9 su voz mientras hac\u00eda ese llamado antes de morir? \u00bfEsa voz real, de un hombre de cuarenta y tres a\u00f1os con c\u00e1ncer de pulm\u00f3n, es el hilo invisible que est\u00e1 detr\u00e1s de cada oraci\u00f3n de <em>Miramar?<\/em> Mi padre era un roto, un dif\u00edcil, no quer\u00eda una familia, nunca se adapt\u00f3 al medio social de matrimonios bien constituidos que lo rodeaban. Me amaba con locura. Cuando escrib\u00ed <em>Miramar,<\/em> todav\u00eda lo ce\u00f1\u00eda un aura de romantizaci\u00f3n, un sesgo heroico. Ya no.\u00a0<br \/><br \/><\/p><p>3.<\/p><p>Los veranos de mi infancia y adolescencia transcurrieron en Villa Gesell. Mi madre hab\u00eda comprado un departamento en un edificio que estaba sobre lo que hoy es la Avenida Costanera, entre 121 y 123. En esos a\u00f1os, los m\u00e9danos llegaban hasta la entrada posterior del edificio. Los pies sobre el granito verde de las escaleras, tres pisos, descalza, como un aeroplano. La puerta de doble hoja, hacia la playa. Febrero, ese era el mes: completo. \u00c9ramos una constelaci\u00f3n de ni\u00f1os y de adolescentes. Les hac\u00edamos tajos, cicatrices, a las zanahorias, sobre las mesadas de cocinas cuyas amas reposaban bajo sombrillas, al sol, y les pon\u00edamos vinagre. A las zanahorias. Las com\u00edamos en la playa, a mordiscones, en 1986, mientras Derek Jarman constru\u00eda, a miles de kil\u00f3metros, su jard\u00edn imposible. Ya estaba escribiendo <em>Miramar<\/em> en el futuro. Hab\u00eda un camino de tablas blancas desde la entrada posterior del edificio, que sub\u00eda, serpenteante, por los m\u00e9danos atl\u00e1nticos. No s\u00e9 cu\u00e1ntas veces me par\u00e9 a las dos de la tarde, con un libro colgando de la mano, justo antes de la soledad m\u00e1s espl\u00e9ndida que conoc\u00ed en toda mi vida, <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/marcel-proust-dias-de-lectura\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">leyendo, en la playa semivac\u00eda<\/a><\/span>, bajo el sol abrasador, sin amigos, sin madres, sin, desde ya, mi padre; no s\u00e9 cu\u00e1ntas veces prepar\u00e9 mis pies para que saltaran de madera en madera, rozaran la arena quemante, y dispuse mis ojos para que con lentitud cinematogr\u00e1fica, de oraci\u00f3n en oraci\u00f3n, barrieran, desde el pasado, el palto, el balconcito de Aguirre, el frasco, y, entonces, mis ojos, ya otros, se levantaran hacia el \u00faltimo m\u00e9dano, lo que hab\u00eda 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10 minutos
Gloria Peirano. Crédito: Alejandra López.

Gloria Peirano. Crédito: Alejandra López.

1.

Estuve, hace un tiempo, tratando de que germinaran carozos de palta. Seguí un tutorial de YouTube que indicaba cómo hacerlo. Puse el hueso de la palta, atravesado por tres escarbadientes, en forma de trípode, encima de un frasco con agua. El agua debía llegar hasta la mitad del hueso, había que cambiarla cada dos días. Una mañana, el hueso apareció quebrado, lo cruzaba por el medio una línea fina, una cicatriz. Se suponía que estaba funcionando. El lamido del agua alcanzaba un extremo de la cicatriz. En el pasado de ese frasco, se aventuraban líneas emocionales y varias ramificaciones: una, central, era mi palto de la calle Aguirre, el que estaba en la casa que ahora forma parte del barrio devenido outlet en Villa Crespo. Fue un palto que amé, del que me alimenté, que transformó mi alimentación y la de mis hijas. Eran paltas enormes que recogíamos, subidos a una escalera, con un palo largo que llevaba atado en la punta un cuchillo tramontina y una bolsa de nailon. La casa fue demolida en 2008, sacaron el árbol. Una ramificación de esta emoción se activaba cuando pasaba por la casa de Aguirre, que alberga, hasta ahora, sucesivas tiendas de ropa. Conservaron la pinotea, así que, al principio, cuando los pies me llevaban solos desde Chacarita, donde vivo ahora, hasta Villa Crespo, para ver qué había quedado después de la demolición, varias veces me encontré casi en cuclillas mirando un tablón del piso que creía reconocer. En lo que fue el patio, donde estaba el palto, estaban los probadores. Nunca entré, nunca compré nada en las tiendas. Pasé, sí, la mano por las prendas en los percheros, un barrido de dedos ligeramente vengativo que culminaba en una tristeza de palto bajo la lluvia. Era el único árbol en un cantero sobre la tierra: los días de lluvia se volvía aún más protagónico. Otra vertiente de la emoción asociada al frasco fue Derek Yarman. Existió un pasadizo misterioso aunque reconocible entre mi decisión de obtener un árbol de palta y su célebre jardín de Prospect Cottage. Derek Jarman compró esa casa de Dungeness, Kent, en 1986, cuando estaba en la cima de su potencia creativa. Allí fue donde filmó The garden y escribió el maravilloso libro Naturaleza moderna. Y allí fue donde creó su imposible jardín sobre una playa de guijarros, después de recibir su diagnóstico de HIV y, más tarde, la sentencia de una enfermedad relacionada con el SIDA. Cerca de la casa, había una planta nuclear. Apenas cerré Naturaleza moderna, busqué cómo germinar un hueso de palta. Creo que necesité rendir un homenaje privado a ese hombre solo que consiguió cultivar un jardín en las condiciones más adversas, que involucraban vientos cargados de sal y suelos calcáreos. 

Necesité otra vez mi árbol.

2.

Escribí Miramar en la casa del palto. Partí, creo, de un núcleo autobiográfico capaz de irradiar su fuerza durante demasiados años: mi padre, antes de morir, pidió el teléfono e hizo una última, secreta llamada. Sé poco sobre él, los relatos familiares no lo favorecieron jamás, de modo que alrededor de su figura se acumuló una imaginación frondosa, desproporcionada, cuya raíz se toca con la raíz de la escritura. Escribí Miramar en la casa del palto, pero llevaba muchos años escribiendo el modo en que persiste aquello que ya no está. ¿Cómo lo hago? ¿Cómo lo hice cuando se trató de Miramar? Oración por oración. Esa es la medida y el ritmo, esa la única respuesta más o menos verdadera que puedo encontrar. Una oración, luego otra. A pesar de que llevo conmigo la estructura general de la trama, sinceramente no sé lo que viene después de un segmento (palabra, construcción o frase) hasta que está escrito. Es decir, tuve, para Miramar, como para La ruta de los hospitales, y como para la novela que estoy escribiendo ahora, un plan estructural. Eso significa para mí andar con la novela a cuestas día y noche. Luego, la nada misma. Sé hacia dónde voy, no sé cómo. Lo sé escribiendo. Escribo para escribir. Y eso es todo. Una vez terminada la novela, no logro ver la totalidad. Sigo viendo oraciones, una detrás de otra. Podría seguir corrigiéndolas, visitándolas. Armo visitas con una podadora en la mano. Resto, corto, arreglo, paso a la siguiente oración. Los dedos son ligeramente malévolos y las ramificaciones emocionales son infinitas, descontroladas, pero el lenguaje las contiene. Entonces, aquello que crece en un terreno incómodo, que parece no destinado a la escritura, una zona inhóspita incluso, a veces, llega a ser una novela. Me lleva años. Cuatro, en el caso de Miramar. Levantaba la cabeza, caminaba hacia un balconcito que daba al patio, tenía dos hijas pequeñas, miraba mi árbol. Temía las tormentas, porque cuando las paltas estaban maduras y nos retrasábamos en la cosecha, el viento intenso las arrancaba y las proyectaba contra los vidrios de la galería. Dos o tres veces, uno de los vidrios estalló. Pero si no era la época en el que árbol daba sus frutos o si la lluvia era suave, lo último que miraba antes de volver a Miramar era ese patio. ¿Qué miramos mientras escribimos? ¿Qué territorio interno hace vínculo con lo exterior?  Desde su jardín, ¿Derek Jarman miraba la planta nuclear, a la distancia, en el erial que rodeaba la casa, mientras cultivaba clavelinas, santolinas y amapolas? Levantaba conjuntos de esculturas de pequeñas piedras, usaba madera traída por las olas. Una gramática árida, exigente.

La mirada que volvía del patio, cuando escribí Miramar, no tenía un cuarto propio. Criaba a mis hijas, trabajaba ocho horas diarias. La escritura era el jardín de Jarman, pero era también una sombra lateral, lejana, como la planta nuclear de Dungeness, como mi propio padre, como el mar de la infancia. Un padre que configura la amenaza de una planta nuclear en el relato materno es, indeciblemente, un padre inolvidable. Esa condición de lo indecible en lo autobiográfico fue, creo, lo que me llevó a escribir Miramar. Nunca lo lloré, nunca sentí dolor. La imagen quedó congelada. ¿Escuché su voz mientras hacía ese llamado antes de morir? ¿Esa voz real, de un hombre de cuarenta y tres años con cáncer de pulmón, es el hilo invisible que está detrás de cada oración de Miramar? Mi padre era un roto, un difícil, no quería una familia, nunca se adaptó al medio social de matrimonios bien constituidos que lo rodeaban. Me amaba con locura. Cuando escribí Miramar, todavía lo ceñía un aura de romantización, un sesgo heroico. Ya no. 

3.

Los veranos de mi infancia y adolescencia transcurrieron en Villa Gesell. Mi madre había comprado un departamento en un edificio que estaba sobre lo que hoy es la Avenida Costanera, entre 121 y 123. En esos años, los médanos llegaban hasta la entrada posterior del edificio. Los pies sobre el granito verde de las escaleras, tres pisos, descalza, como un aeroplano. La puerta de doble hoja, hacia la playa. Febrero, ese era el mes: completo. Éramos una constelación de niños y de adolescentes. Les hacíamos tajos, cicatrices, a las zanahorias, sobre las mesadas de cocinas cuyas amas reposaban bajo sombrillas, al sol, y les poníamos vinagre. A las zanahorias. Las comíamos en la playa, a mordiscones, en 1986, mientras Derek Jarman construía, a miles de kilómetros, su jardín imposible. Ya estaba escribiendo Miramar en el futuro. Había un camino de tablas blancas desde la entrada posterior del edificio, que subía, serpenteante, por los médanos atlánticos. No sé cuántas veces me paré a las dos de la tarde, con un libro colgando de la mano, justo antes de la soledad más espléndida que conocí en toda mi vida, leyendo, en la playa semivacía, bajo el sol abrasador, sin amigos, sin madres, sin, desde ya, mi padre; no sé cuántas veces preparé mis pies para que saltaran de madera en madera, rozaran la arena quemante, y dispuse mis ojos para que con lentitud cinematográfica, de oración en oración, barrieran, desde el pasado, el palto, el balconcito de Aguirre, el frasco, y, entonces, mis ojos, ya otros, se levantaran hacia el último médano, lo que había detrás.

Mapa de las Lenguas es una colección panhispánica global que presenta la mejor literatura de veintiún países que comparten el idioma. Pero es, sobre todo, un itinerario de viaje por once de los libros que el año pasado tuvieron mayor trascendencia en su país de origen y que, a lo largo de 2023, recorrerán el resto del ámbito del español.

Adentrarse en la obra de estas once voces es transitar un territorio físico, tangible, pero también un espacio moral, intelectual, anímico, político y sociocultural. La lectura de un autor contemporáneo de cualquier país de habla hispana es una ventana a una forma de expresarse y escribir en español, pero también un modo de tomarle la temperatura a las preocupaciones y los anhelos de cada uno de esos lugares. 

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