«Mi vida robada», de Carla Guelfenbein

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La historia del pasado que las une va apareciendo hilvanada con sutileza, mientras la hija descubre o intenta descubrir qui\u00e9n era realmente su madre, una artista neoyorkina respetada y exitosa de la que nadie conoc\u00eda su actual paradero. Una sutil novela sobre la interminable b\u00fasqueda de identidad y sobre las ineludibles y a veces oscuras influencias maternas. 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se fue)\u00a0<br \/><br \/><\/strong>Fue el profesor Black quien me llam\u00f3 para comunicarme que hab\u00edas desaparecido. S\u00ed, el famoso profesor del cual t\u00fa nos hablabas cuando a\u00fan nos escrib\u00edas. Me cont\u00f3 que hac\u00eda tres semanas que no llegabas a hacer tus clases. Pens\u00f3 que se trataba de uno de tus <em>blues<\/em>, esos que cada cierto tiempo te arrojaban a la cama y a las <a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/cine-y-series\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\">series<\/span><\/a> policiales. Les pregunt\u00f3 por ti a tus amigos, a tus colegas y a los miembros de tu s\u00e9quito, pero nadie te hab\u00eda visto. Por eso le pidi\u00f3 a uno de sus estudiantes que fuera a tu departamento. Despu\u00e9s de tocar el timbre un buen rato, el chico habl\u00f3 con el conserje, a quien por suerte t\u00fa le hab\u00edas dejado una llave. Raro en ti, aquel acto de confianza en el pr\u00f3jimo. Entraron, y un olor nauseabundo los golpe\u00f3. En la cocina encontraron una bolsa de basura destripada cuyo contenido yac\u00eda desparramado en el suelo. Pescado podrido, alimentos cuyos hongos hab\u00edan hecho desaparecer su identidad, cajas de leche vac\u00edas, trozos de vidrio, facturas y otros papeles de \u00edndole incierta. Notaron que la ventana de la cocina estaba abierta, por lo que dedujeron que los destrozos deb\u00edan ser obra de un gato. El resto de tu departamento ten\u00eda la pulcritud y el desamparo de un desalojo. No hab\u00eda ning\u00fan libro abierto, ni una taza de caf\u00e9 sobre la mesa, ni una escobilla de dientes en el ba\u00f1o, ni una flor muerta en el florero de la sala. Los cl\u00f3sets y cajones estaban pr\u00e1cticamente vac\u00edos. Limpiaron la cocina, sacaron la basura, y el estudiante llam\u00f3 al profesor Black.\u00a0<\/p><p>Yo hab\u00eda visto hac\u00eda unos d\u00edas una pel\u00edcula en la que una concertista de piano retirada decide vivir dentro de una furgoneta maloliente aparcada en una calle de <a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/guias-y-literatura-de-viajes\/21920-ebook-londres-9788426422279\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\">Londres<\/span><\/a> por el resto de sus d\u00edas. Te imagin\u00e9 en la esquina de un and\u00e9n del <em>subway<\/em>, acurrucada dentro de una caja de cart\u00f3n, los ojos sucios, mientras el tumulto de las cinco de la tarde te atravesaba sin verte. Pero esa no eras t\u00fa. No, se\u00f1ora. Este deb\u00eda ser otro de tus juegos, uno de esos con que divert\u00edas a tu corte. Y esta vez yo lo iba a jugar contigo. Desde el instante en que escuch\u00e9 al profesor Black, supe que saldr\u00eda en tu busca.\u00a0<\/p><p>Llam\u00e9 al editor cultural del peri\u00f3dico donde trabajaba y le dije que le enviar\u00eda la rese\u00f1a de esa semana con unos d\u00edas de retraso. Era una novela cuyo deprimido protagonista vagaba fumando y bebiendo en los bares de un pueblo perdido en un pa\u00eds sin nombre, intentando tirarse en su \u00abdesgracia\u00bb a cuanta mujer hu\u00e9rfana de amores encontrara. Me estaba sacando de quicio y ya hab\u00eda incubado los argumentos para destruirla. Juan, el editor cultural, me solt\u00f3 una perorata que no recuerdo, porque mientras \u00e9l hablaba yo ya estaba comprando el pasaje a <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/colson-whitehead-nueva-york-el-ritmo-de-harlem\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Nueva York<\/a><\/span> en mi computadora, al tiempo que hac\u00eda una anotaci\u00f3n mental en mi libreta de tareas: Mantener las ilusiones a raya.\u00a0<br \/><br \/><\/p><p>El d\u00eda antes de dejarnos, pasaste la tarde sentada en tu silla mecedora con la mirada perdida en el muro del patio donde crec\u00edan tus azucenas. Esas flores delicadas y elegantes \u2014tanto m\u00e1s sofisticadas que pap\u00e1, Jos\u00e9 y yo\u2014 eran los \u00fanicos seres vivos que mimabas.\u00a0<\/p><p>A pesar de que han transcurrido m\u00e1s de veinte a\u00f1os desde entonces, lo recuerdo bien. Fue el s\u00e1bado del incendio. Est\u00e1bamos en la sala cuando de pronto escuchamos unos gritos que proven\u00edan del pasaje. Pap\u00e1, Jos\u00e9 y yo salimos a mirar lo que ocurr\u00eda. La casa de los Romero \u2014la m\u00e1s bonita de nuestro alica\u00eddo pasaje\u2014 se consum\u00eda en el fuego. Todos corr\u00edan de un lado a otro, desesperados, trayendo mangueras, bidones de agua, hasta que llegaron los bomberos y nos pidieron que nos alej\u00e1ramos. Entonces rodeamos a los Romero y los abrazamos y nos abrazamos entre nosotros consternados, llorando, hasta que los bomberos lograron apagar el fuego.\u00a0<\/p><p>Cuando regresamos a casa t\u00fa hab\u00edas vuelto a sentarte frente a tus flores con los ojos perdidos tras mirar un rato lo que ocurr\u00eda. Quise abrazarte para espantar el horror, pero hab\u00eda en ti una distancia que me detuvo. Tuve la impresi\u00f3n de estar ante un animal salvaje que en cualquier momento se desprender\u00eda de sus vestiduras de domesticidad, y sent\u00ed miedo.\u00a0<\/p><p>A la ma\u00f1ana siguiente, t\u00fa hab\u00edas desaparecido. Te busqu\u00e9 en cada rinc\u00f3n de la casa, sal\u00ed al pasaje, a la calle, acaso presintiendo lo que pronto descubrir\u00eda. Para tranquilizarnos, pap\u00e1 nos dijo que estar\u00edas de vuelta en un par de semanas. Pero \u00e9l ya sab\u00eda que no volver\u00edas. 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<span style=\\\"text-decoration: line-through;\\\">personas<\/span> tan tan <span style=\\\"text-decoration: line-through;\\\">excepcionales<\/span> accidentales\u00a0<br \/><br \/><\/strong>Camin\u00e9 empujando la maleta con una mano \u2014la otra agarrada a la correa de mi mochila\u2014 desde la estaci\u00f3n del <em>subway<\/em> hasta la calle 119 en medio de una lluvia furiosa.\u00a0<\/p><p>Un r\u00edo corr\u00eda por las veredas y una cortina de agua se dejaba caer con la sa\u00f1a de un ataque a\u00e9reo. No me sorprendi\u00f3 que la mala fortuna me siguiera hasta las calles de <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/literatura-contemporanea\/367538-ebook-el-hombre-que-invento-manhattan-9788420477299\\\">Manhattan<\/a><\/span>. Era la primera vez que estaba en esta ciudad, sin contar esa ocasi\u00f3n \u2014a los nueve a\u00f1os\u2014 en que la polic\u00eda estadounidense nos subi\u00f3 a mi hermano Jos\u00e9 y a m\u00ed en un vuelo de regreso a Chile sin haber siquiera cruzado las puertas del aeropuerto JFK. Pero esa es otra historia.\u00a0<\/p><p>Un chico me aguardaba bajo el alero de tu edificio. Llevaba un impermeable verde, de esos que suelen usar los escoceses para salir a cazar en sus campi\u00f1as, que le daba una apariencia casual y aristocr\u00e1tica, exacerbada por sus rizos casta\u00f1os que ca\u00edan tras sus orejas blancas y perfectas.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Hola, soy Langton McCuller \u2014dijo, y emiti\u00f3 un extra\u00f1o chasquido con la lengua. Luego me mir\u00f3 de arriba abajo.\u00a0<\/p><p>Empapada como estaba y sin haber pegado un ojo en el avi\u00f3n, mi apariencia debi\u00f3 ser a\u00fan m\u00e1s pat\u00e9tica de lo usual. Pobre alma. De seguro hab\u00eda fantaseado con una versi\u00f3n joven y mejorada de ti. Un polvo latino con la hija de la gran Biba.<\/p><p>Hab\u00eda entendido hac\u00eda tiempo, terapia tras terapia, que nunca llegar\u00eda a tener tu <em>glamour<\/em>, tus curvas, tus gestos histri\u00f3nicos de diva, tu porte y tu desplante, tu gloriosa cabellera que con los a\u00f1os se hab\u00eda vuelto cana sin perder ni un \u00e1pice de su esplendor. Qu\u00e9 ep\u00edtetos, \u00bfverdad?\u00a0 Son los que me acompa\u00f1aron en mi ni\u00f1ez y adolescencia despu\u00e9s de que t\u00fa decidieras que esa vida de \u00abse\u00f1ora bien\u00bb a ti no te ven\u00eda bien, que al lado de mi padre y de tus hijos ser\u00edas siempre desgraciada.<\/p><p>Langton McCuller subi\u00f3 mi maleta los cinco pisos sin escaleras y entramos juntos a tu departamento. A pesar de que el profesor Black me lo hab\u00eda advertido, me impresion\u00f3 su desnudez.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014Bob, el conserje que me dio la llave, no viene todos los d\u00edas \u2014me explic\u00f3 Langton McCuller\u2014, pero lo podr\u00e1s reconocer porque lleva un parche en el ojo. Me dijo que Biba tiene un buen amigo aqu\u00ed en el edificio, un tal Sim\u00f3n Greenberg. Aparentemente no est\u00e1 en New York ahora. Tiene una hija sordomuda.\u00a0<\/p><p>Yo asent\u00ed sin decir palabra.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014\u00bfEst\u00e1s bien? \u00bfNecesitas algo? \u2014me pregunt\u00f3 en un tono cauteloso.\u00a0<\/p><p>Debi\u00f3 intuir el terror que me asalt\u00f3 de pronto de quedarme sola en ese departamento que se supon\u00eda era tuyo, pero en donde me sent\u00ed la m\u00e1s extra\u00f1a de las extra\u00f1as, una usurpadora casi. De haber podido le hubiera dicho que no, que no estaba bien en absoluto, que precisaba que se quedara conmigo las pr\u00f3ximas horas, los pr\u00f3ximos d\u00edas y meses y, por qu\u00e9 no, el resto de mi vida.\u00a0<\/p><p>\u2014S\u00ed, claro, estoy bien. \u2014Sonre\u00ed con los labios tirantes.\u00a0<\/p><p>Desde ni\u00f1a cre\u00ed que la desventura deb\u00eda traer consigo una recompensa, como el \u00faltimo enano de la fila que bajo el brazo trae una pepita de oro. Y si eso no ocurr\u00eda, si no me tocaba la pepita de oro, al menos las desgracias deb\u00edan tener un sentido que aparecer\u00eda en el momento menos pensado. Y si todo eso fallaba, estaba la posibilidad de que el desconsuelo me permitiera ver el mundo con m\u00e1s lucidez y compasi\u00f3n y me volviera una mejor persona. Sin embargo, a mis treinta a\u00f1os a\u00fan no hab\u00eda experimentado ninguna de esas revelaciones, y dada mi naturaleza nihilista era poco probable que algo as\u00ed aconteciera.\u00a0<\/p><p>Pero para mi sorpresa, despu\u00e9s de que Langton McCuller partiera y yo me quedara en medio de la sala a\u00fan aferrada a mi mochila, me lleg\u00f3 la primera revelaci\u00f3n. No voy a decir que los cielos se rasgaron y los dioses se abrieron paso entre las nubes, aunque sin duda algo ocurri\u00f3. De pronto entend\u00ed que mis consecutivas desventuras, as\u00ed como los escasos regalos que me otorgaba la vida, no eran m\u00e1s que meros accidentes. Accidentes del destino. Lo que significaba que, tambi\u00e9n por accidente, todo pod\u00eda cambiar.\u00a0<\/p><p>Prend\u00ed la calefacci\u00f3n y di varias vueltas por tu diminuto y desamparado departamento para entrar en calor. Hasta que un cansancio monumental se dej\u00f3 caer sobre m\u00ed. Sin desvestirme me recost\u00e9 sobre tu cama, me cubr\u00ed con mi abrigo e intent\u00e9 dormir. Pero entonces un ruido deton\u00f3 en mis o\u00eddos. La cornisa que estaba sobre tu ventana se hab\u00eda desprendido con la tormenta y sujeta de un solo punto se golpeaba salvajemente contra el muro de cemento. Abr\u00eda la ventana para intentar cogerla \u2014un acto vano frente a la fuerza del viento y la lluvia\u2014 cuando un rel\u00e1mpago estall\u00f3 sobre mi cabeza, seguido del retumbar ensordecedor de un trueno. Me acuclill\u00e9 en el suelo, me hice un ovillo y me tap\u00e9 los o\u00eddos. Esta deb\u00eda ser la segunda revelaci\u00f3n. Lo dif\u00edcil era saber de qu\u00e9.<br \/><br \/><br \/><strong><em>Mi vida robada,<\/em> de Carla Guelfenbein, <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/tematicas\/356981-ebook-mi-vida-robada-9789563845136\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">sigue aqu\u00ed<\/a><\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"50\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"50\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"ixw336z\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p class=\\\"MsoNormal\\\"><strong>OTROS\u00a0CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/primeras-paginas\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Primeras p\u00e1ginas: as\u00ed comienzan las novedades literarias m\u00e1s relevantes del momento<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/ficciones\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\" rel=\\\"noopener\\\">Ficciones: cuentos, relatos, rescates e 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