Literatura

La muerte de Virginia Woolf por Leonard Woolf: la contemplación imperturbable

El 28 de marzo de 1941, Virginia Woolf se quitó la vida adentrándose en el río Ouse cerca de su casa de campo en Rodmell. Pocos meses antes, ella y su marido habían abandonado Londres, ya asediada por los brutales bombardeos nazis y la amenaza de una invasión a la isla. En «La muerte de Virginia» (Lumen), Leonard Woolf revisita aquellos meses previos en los que su esposa se mostraba alegre, serena y en un estado de premonitoria quietud y contemplación imperturbable de la muerte como algo extraordinariamente cercano y real.

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Pocos meses antes, ella y su marido hab\u00edan abandonado Londres, ya asediada por los brutales bombardeos nazis y la amenaza de una invasi\u00f3n a la isla. En \u00abLa muerte de Virginia\u00bb (Lumen), Leonard Woolf revisita aquellos meses previos en los que su esposa se mostraba alegre, serena y en un estado de premonitoria quietud y contemplaci\u00f3n imperturbable de la muerte como algo extraordinariamente cercano y 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style=\\\"text-align: right;\\\">Retrato de Virginia Woolf. Cr\u00e9dito: Getty 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volver atr\u00e1s desde el suicidio de Virginia en marzo de 1941 hasta los cuatro \u00faltimos meses de 1940, me he preguntado a menudo por qu\u00e9 no tuve ning\u00fan presentimiento de la\u00a0<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/arturo-perez-reverte-y-la-guerra\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">cat\u00e1strofe<\/a> <\/span>hasta principios de 1941. \u00bfCu\u00e1l era su verdadero<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\">\u00a0<\/span>estado de \u00e1nimo y su salud en el oto\u00f1o y a comienzos del invierno de 1940? Entonces pens\u00e9, y sigo pens\u00e1ndolo ahora, que estaba m\u00e1s tranquila, m\u00e1s estable y m\u00e1s alegre y serena de lo habitual.<\/p><p>Cuando est\u00e1s en el centro exacto de un <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/gabriel-garcia-marquez\/monologo-de-isabel-viendo-llover-en-macondo\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">cicl\u00f3n o de un tornado<\/a>,<\/span> te encuentras rodeado de una calma mortal, mientras todo a tu alrededor es un rugiente torbellino de viento y olas. Fue como si en aquellos \u00faltimos meses de 1940 que pasamos en Rodmell hubi\u00e9semos entrado de pronto en el ojo silencioso e inm\u00f3vil del hurac\u00e1n de la guerra. Era una pausa, nada m\u00e1s que una pausa, mientras esper\u00e1bamos<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"> <a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/fenomenos\/la-peste-vendra-la-muerte-y-tendra-tus-ojos\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">el siguiente desastre<\/a><\/span>; pero esperamos en una calma absoluta, sin tensi\u00f3n, con la amenaza de la invasi\u00f3n sobre nuestras cabezas, y las bombas y los bombardeos a nuestro alrededor. En parte se deb\u00eda a que nos sent\u00edamos aislados f\u00edsica y socialmente, apartados de todo. Hab\u00edamos tenido que abandonar Londres por culpa de los bombardeos. A partir de noviembre, se hizo necesario economizar gasolina y ya no pudimos ir a Londres en coche. Los viajes en tren cada vez resultaban m\u00e1s tediosos.<\/p><p>Eso significaba que, por primera vez en nuestras vidas, Virginia y yo nos sentimos como si fu\u00e9semos campesinos y aldeanos. Y tambi\u00e9n por primera vez nos quedamos sin criados en el sentido victoriano del t\u00e9rmino. En Londres, antes de la guerra, hab\u00edamos reducido el servicio a solo una persona, una cocinera, la extra\u00f1a, silenciosa y melanc\u00f3lica Mabel. Cuando empezaron los bombardeos de Londres, se mud\u00f3 con nosotros a Rodmell, pero, aunque era una t\u00edpica campesina del oeste de Inglaterra, no le gustaba el campo y odiaba estar <span style=\\\"text-decoration-line: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/mapa-de-las-lenguas-2022\/ana-iris-simon-feria\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">lejos de la capital<\/a><\/span>. Al cabo de unas cuantas semanas no lo resisti\u00f3 m\u00e1s y decidi\u00f3 que prefer\u00eda las bombas de Londres. Nos dej\u00f3 para irse a vivir con su hermana y trabajar en una taberna. Quedarnos sin criados, sin otra responsabilidad que cuidar de nosotros mismos, nos hizo reparar a\u00fan m\u00e1s en la libertad y la calma mort\u00edfera del ojo del 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calma era producto en parte de la rutina, de la agradable monoton\u00eda de vivir. Trabaj\u00e1bamos toda la ma\u00f1ana, com\u00edamos, pase\u00e1bamos o cuid\u00e1bamos del jard\u00edn, jug\u00e1bamos a la petanca, prepar\u00e1bamos la cena, le\u00edamos y o\u00edamos m\u00fasica y nos \u00edbamos a la cama. El diario de Virginia muestra con mucha claridad que aquella vida le procuraba tranquilidad y bienestar. El 12 de octubre escribi\u00f3:<\/p><p><em>\u00ab<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/mapa-de-las-lenguas-2022\/rodrigo-cortes-los-anos-extraordinarios\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Cu\u00e1nta paz y libertad<\/a><\/span>. No viene nadie a vernos. No tenemos criados. Comemos cuando queremos. Creo que nos apa\u00f1amos bien reduciendo los gastos al m\u00ednimo\u00bb.<\/em><\/p><p>Y, dos d\u00edas despu\u00e9s, una larga entrada describe la profundidad y el trasfondo de su estado de \u00e1nimo (la publiqu\u00e9 en <em>Diario de una escritora<\/em>, pero la cito aqu\u00ed por su relevancia):<\/p><p><em>\u00abOjal\u00e1 tuviese m\u00e1s cosas que hacer durante el d\u00eda: la mayor parte de mis lecturas no son m\u00e1s que una especie de aperitivo. Si no fuese traici\u00f3n decirlo, un d\u00eda as\u00ed es casi demasiado, no dir\u00e9 feliz, pero s\u00ed llevadero. La tonada cambia de una agradable melod\u00eda a otra. Todo se interpreta (hoy) en ese teatro. Las colinas y los campos; no me canso de mirar; octubre est\u00e1 en pleno esplendor: campos arados y las marismas que se desdibujan. Ahora se levanta la neblina. Y una cosa \\\"agradable\\\" detr\u00e1s de otra: el desayuno, escribir, pasear, el t\u00e9, los cuencos, leer, dulces, irse a la cama. Una carta de Rose cont\u00e1ndome lo que ha hecho ese d\u00eda. Casi dej\u00e9 que me estropeara el m\u00edo. Luego me recuper\u00e9. El mundo gira otra vez. Detr\u00e1s\u2026, \u00a1oh, s\u00ed! Pero estuve pensando que debo intensificarlo. En parte por Rose. En parte porque me aterra la aceptaci\u00f3n pasiva. Vivo intensamente. En Londres, ahora o hace dos a\u00f1os, estar\u00eda vagando como un b\u00faho por las calles. Mucho m\u00e1s emocionante e intenso que aqu\u00ed. Debo compensar eso, pero \u00bfc\u00f3mo? Creo que\u00a0<a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/ficciones\/las-inseparables-simone-de-beauvoir\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\"><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\">inventando libros<\/span>.<\/a> Y siempre queda la posibilidad de una gran ola: no, no volver\u00e9 a mirar eso con lupa. Retazos de recuerdos que refrescan mi esp\u00edritu. He terminado esos tres art\u00edculos (uno lo he enviado hoy). He terminado una p\u00e1gina sobre Thoby. He olvidado el pescado. Tendr\u00e9 que pensar en algo para la cena. Pero todo es tan libre y f\u00e1cil. L. y yo solos. Esta semana le hemos subido el sueldo a Louie* de doce chelines a quince. Est\u00e1 tan oronda y feliz como un ni\u00f1o al que le han dado una propina. Tambi\u00e9n tengo a mano mi alfombra. Otra satisfacci\u00f3n. Y nada de obsesionarse con la ropa, como hac\u00eda Sybil, la vida social ha desaparecido. Pero quiero recordar algo positivo de estos a\u00f1os de guerra. L. est\u00e1 recolectando manzanas. Sally, ladra. Imagino la invasi\u00f3n del pueblo. Es raro c\u00f3mo se ha limitado la vida al entorno del pueblo. Hemos comprado le\u00f1a suficiente para varios inviernos. Todos nuestros amigos est\u00e1n aislados junto a fuegos invernales. Cartas de Angelica, Bunny, etc\u00e9tera. No hay coches. Ni gasolina. Los trenes son poco fiables. Y nosotros en nuestra preciosa isla oto\u00f1al. Pero me dedicar\u00e9 a leer a Dante, y a mi excursi\u00f3n por el libro de literatura inglesa. Me alegr\u00f3 ver el C.R.** manoseado por los lectores de la biblioteca p\u00fablica a la que estoy pensando en inscribirme\u00bb.<\/em><\/p><p><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"tz8d0mp\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p>Fue como si en aquellos \u00faltimos meses de 1940 que pasamos en Rodmell hubi\u00e9semos entrado de pronto en el ojo silencioso e inm\u00f3vil del hurac\u00e1n de la guerra. Era una pausa, nada m\u00e1s que una pausa, mientras esper\u00e1bamos el siguiente desastre; pero esperamos en una calma absoluta, sin tensi\u00f3n, con la amenaza de la invasi\u00f3n sobre nuestras cabezas, y las bombas y los bombardeos a nuestro alrededor.<\/p><p><\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#000000\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"40\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"24\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Vollkorn\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"45\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"30\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"95\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"95\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"50\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"89xohr5\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p>Otra entrada en su\u00a0<span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/cartas-gabriela-mistral-doris-dan-maria-moreno\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">diario<\/a><\/span> (la del 2 de octubre), que inclu\u00ed en <em>Diario de una escritora<\/em>, describe de manera v\u00edvida su estado de \u00e1nimo ese oto\u00f1o, una especie de quietismo y contemplaci\u00f3n imperturbable de la muerte, que hab\u00eda dejado de ser, como lo es para todos durante toda la existencia, el final, algo lejano e irreal, como si la contempl\u00e1ramos por el lado equivocado del telescopio de la vida, sino que se hab\u00eda convertido en algo mucho m\u00e1s inmediato, extraordinariamente cercano y real, que pend\u00eda constantemente sobre nuestras cabezas, algo que pod\u00eda caer con estr\u00e9pito en cualquier momento y aniquilarnos. \u00abLa otra noche \u2014escribi\u00f3\u2014 una gran explosi\u00f3n bajo la ventana. Tan cercana que los dos nos sobresaltamos\u00bb. Su reacci\u00f3n inmediata fue: \u00abLe dije a L.: No quiero morir todav\u00eda\u00bb. Y luego sigue una descripci\u00f3n extraordinariamente v\u00edvida de lo que se sentir\u00eda al morir destrozado por una bomba:<\/p><p><em>\u00ab\u00a1Oh!, intento imaginar c\u00f3mo te mata una bomba. Me he representado con viveza la sensaci\u00f3n; pero despu\u00e9s no veo m\u00e1s que una sofocante inexistencia. Creo\u2026, \u00a1oh!, yo quer\u00eda otros diez a\u00f1os\u2026, no esto\u2026, y por una vez no sabr\u00e9 describirlo\u00bb.<\/em><\/p><p>Creo que la muerte, la contemplaci\u00f3n de la muerte, siempre estuvo a flor de piel en la imaginaci\u00f3n de Virginia. Formaba parte del profundo desequilibrio de su mente. Estaba a medias \u00abenamorada de la Muerte que todo lo alivia***\u00bb. Puedo entenderlo, pero solo desde el punto de vista intelectual; emocionalmente nada me resulta m\u00e1s ajeno. Antes de empezar a envejecer, apenas pensaba en la muerte. Sab\u00eda que era el final inevitable, pero en el fondo soy un fatalista convencido. Tal vez se deba en parte a la tradici\u00f3n jud\u00eda y a ese fatalismo esc\u00e9ptico que impregna incluso a Jehov\u00e1 en el Eclesiast\u00e9s y todo el libro de Job; y despu\u00e9s, en casi dos <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/art-spiegelman-liniers\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">mil a\u00f1os de persecuciones y guetos en Europa<\/a><\/span>, los jud\u00edos han aprendido que combatir o escapar a los males evitables de la vida requiere mucho esfuerzo. Aceptar\u00eda el riesgo de la inmortalidad, si me lo ofrecieran, pero no me preocupa mi muerte inevitable. A medida que uno envejece se ve obligado a pensar en ella, pues se va volviendo cada vez m\u00e1s pr\u00f3xima; llega el momento en que reparas en que la gente se sorprende de que sigas vivo, en que sabes que si plantas un \u00e1rbol en el jard\u00edn no estar\u00e1s vivo para ponerse bajo sus ramas, o, si compras una botella de Burdeos joven para \u00abguardarla\u00bb es probable que mueras antes de que madure. He llegado a la \u00e9poca en que \u00abNo estar\u00e9 aqu\u00ed para verlo\u00bb ya no es acad\u00e9mico, pues uno sabe que ser\u00e1 pasado ma\u00f1ana. La <em>pallida mors<\/em> horaciana, la muerte p\u00e1lida, est\u00e1 sentada sobre el hombro del jinete. Pero no creo estar jact\u00e1ndome o enga\u00f1\u00e1ndome si digo que aunque lamento la inminencia de la muerte, no me preocupo por ella. Es el destino, lo inevitable, y no se puede hacer nada.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#1a1a1a\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"18\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Fort-Book\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"27\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"0\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"0\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"2b2tu62\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p>Otra entrada en su diario describe de manera v\u00edvida su estado de \u00e1nimo ese oto\u00f1o, una especie de quietismo y contemplaci\u00f3n imperturbable de la muerte, que hab\u00eda dejado de ser, como lo es para todos durante toda la existencia, el final, algo lejano e irreal, sino que se hab\u00eda convertido en algo mucho m\u00e1s inmediato, extraordinariamente cercano y real, que pend\u00eda constantemente sobre nuestras cabezas.<\/p>\",\"section_style\":\"\",\"align\":\"\",\"align_tablet\":\"\",\"align_mobile\":\"\",\"text_color\":\"#000000\",\"typography_typography\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_size\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"40\"},\"typography_font_size_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_font_size_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"24\"},\"typography_font_family\":\"custom\",\"typography_font_family_custom\":\"Vollkorn\",\"typography_font_weight\":\"\",\"typography_text_transform\":\"\",\"typography_font_style\":\"\",\"typography_line_height\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"45\"},\"typography_line_height_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"em\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_line_height_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"30\"},\"typography_letter_spacing\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"typography_letter_spacing_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"size\":\"\"},\"_section_style\":\"\",\"_margin\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"95\",\"bottom\":\"58\",\"left\":\"95\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"0\",\"right\":\"30\",\"bottom\":\"50\",\"left\":\"30\",\"isLinked\":false},\"_margin_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_tablet\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_padding_mobile\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_animation\":\"\",\"animation_duration\":\"\",\"_css_classes\":\"\",\"_section_background\":\"\",\"_background_background\":\"\",\"_background_color\":\"\",\"_background_image\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_background_position\":\"\",\"_background_attachment\":\"\",\"_background_repeat\":\"\",\"_background_size\":\"\",\"_background_video_link\":\"\",\"_background_video_fallback\":{\"url\":\"\",\"id\":\"\"},\"_border_border\":\"\",\"_border_width\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_border_color\":\"\",\"_border_radius\":{\"unit\":\"px\",\"top\":\"\",\"right\":\"\",\"bottom\":\"\",\"left\":\"\",\"isLinked\":true},\"_box_shadow_box_shadow_type\":\"\",\"_box_shadow_box_shadow\":{\"horizontal\":0,\"vertical\":0,\"blur\":10,\"spread\":0,\"inset\":\"\",\"color\":\"rgba(0,0,0,0.5)\"},\"_section_responsive\":\"\",\"responsive_description\":\"\",\"hide_desktop\":\"\",\"hide_tablet\":\"\",\"hide_mobile\":\"\"},\"defaultEditSettings\":[],\"widgetType\":\"text-editor\",\"editSettings\":{}},{\"id\":\"he3c1gs\",\"elType\":\"widget\",\"isInner\":false,\"settings\":{\"section_editor\":\"\",\"editor\":\"<p>La actitud de Virginia respecto a <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/tute-caloi\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">la muerte era muy distinta<\/a>. <\/span>Siempre la ten\u00eda presente. El hecho de que hubiese intentado suicidarse en dos ocasiones \u2014y casi hubiera tenido \u00e9xito\u2014 y el saber que la desesperaci\u00f3n o la depresi\u00f3n m\u00e1s terribles pod\u00edan volver a abrumarla significaba que la muerte nunca se alejaba mucho de su <span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/despedidas\/joan-didion-zadie-smith\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">pensamiento<\/a><\/span>. La tem\u00eda y no obstante, como he dicho, estaba a medias \u00abenamorada de la Muerte que todo lo alivia\u00bb. Sin embargo, en esos \u00faltimos meses de 1940 con la muerte rode\u00e1ndola por doquier, cuando las bombas estallaban tan cerca. \u00abLe dije a L.: \\\"No quiero morir todav\u00eda\\\"\u00bb. La raz\u00f3n era que estaba m\u00e1s feliz y tranquila de lo habitual. Eso se deb\u00eda en gran parte a <a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/audur-ava-olafsdottir-la-escritora\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">la satisfacci\u00f3n y facilidad de su escritura<\/a>.<\/p><p><br \/><br \/><br \/>* Desde 1932 Louie viv\u00eda en una de las dos casas que yo pose\u00eda en Rodmell. Nos ayudaba con las tareas dom\u00e9sticas: llegaba a las ocho, fregaba los platos, hac\u00eda las camas y limpiaba la casa, y lo sigue haciendo en 1969.<\/p><p>** El <em>Common Reader,<\/em> donde se recogen los ensayos cr\u00edticos de Virginia Woolf.<\/p><p>*** Verso de <em>Oda a un ruise\u00f1or,<\/em> de John Keats (1795-1821).<br \/><br \/><br \/><br \/><br \/><br \/><\/p><p><strong>OTROS CONTENIDOS DE INTER\u00c9S:<\/strong><br \/><br \/><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/cartas-gabriela-mistral-doris-dan-maria-moreno\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Las cartas de Gabriela Mistral: un cl\u00f3set de cristal<\/a><br \/><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/entrevistas\/lina-meruane-marta-sanz-zona-ciega\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Lina Meruane por Marta Sanz: literatura contra el dolor<\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\\\"text-decoration: underline;\\\"><a href=\\\"https:\/\/www.penguinlibros.com\/es\/revista-lengua\/literatura\/pierre-lemaitre-diccionario-apasionado-de-la-novela-negra\\\" target=\\\"_blank\\\">Una muy breve historia de la novela 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10 minutos

Retrato de Virginia Woolf. Crédito: Getty Images.

Al volver atrás desde el suicidio de Virginia en marzo de 1941 hasta los cuatro últimos meses de 1940, me he preguntado a menudo por qué no tuve ningún presentimiento de la catástrofe hasta principios de 1941. ¿Cuál era su verdadero estado de ánimo y su salud en el otoño y a comienzos del invierno de 1940? Entonces pensé, y sigo pensándolo ahora, que estaba más tranquila, más estable y más alegre y serena de lo habitual.

Cuando estás en el centro exacto de un ciclón o de un tornado, te encuentras rodeado de una calma mortal, mientras todo a tu alrededor es un rugiente torbellino de viento y olas. Fue como si en aquellos últimos meses de 1940 que pasamos en Rodmell hubiésemos entrado de pronto en el ojo silencioso e inmóvil del huracán de la guerra. Era una pausa, nada más que una pausa, mientras esperábamos el siguiente desastre; pero esperamos en una calma absoluta, sin tensión, con la amenaza de la invasión sobre nuestras cabezas, y las bombas y los bombardeos a nuestro alrededor. En parte se debía a que nos sentíamos aislados física y socialmente, apartados de todo. Habíamos tenido que abandonar Londres por culpa de los bombardeos. A partir de noviembre, se hizo necesario economizar gasolina y ya no pudimos ir a Londres en coche. Los viajes en tren cada vez resultaban más tediosos.

Eso significaba que, por primera vez en nuestras vidas, Virginia y yo nos sentimos como si fuésemos campesinos y aldeanos. Y también por primera vez nos quedamos sin criados en el sentido victoriano del término. En Londres, antes de la guerra, habíamos reducido el servicio a solo una persona, una cocinera, la extraña, silenciosa y melancólica Mabel. Cuando empezaron los bombardeos de Londres, se mudó con nosotros a Rodmell, pero, aunque era una típica campesina del oeste de Inglaterra, no le gustaba el campo y odiaba estar lejos de la capital. Al cabo de unas cuantas semanas no lo resistió más y decidió que prefería las bombas de Londres. Nos dejó para irse a vivir con su hermana y trabajar en una taberna. Quedarnos sin criados, sin otra responsabilidad que cuidar de nosotros mismos, nos hizo reparar aún más en la libertad y la calma mortífera del ojo del huracán.

Dicha calma era producto en parte de la rutina, de la agradable monotonía de vivir. Trabajábamos toda la mañana, comíamos, paseábamos o cuidábamos del jardín, jugábamos a la petanca, preparábamos la cena, leíamos y oíamos música y nos íbamos a la cama. El diario de Virginia muestra con mucha claridad que aquella vida le procuraba tranquilidad y bienestar. El 12 de octubre escribió:

«Cuánta paz y libertad. No viene nadie a vernos. No tenemos criados. Comemos cuando queremos. Creo que nos apañamos bien reduciendo los gastos al mínimo».

Y, dos días después, una larga entrada describe la profundidad y el trasfondo de su estado de ánimo (la publiqué en Diario de una escritora, pero la cito aquí por su relevancia):

«Ojalá tuviese más cosas que hacer durante el día: la mayor parte de mis lecturas no son más que una especie de aperitivo. Si no fuese traición decirlo, un día así es casi demasiado, no diré feliz, pero sí llevadero. La tonada cambia de una agradable melodía a otra. Todo se interpreta (hoy) en ese teatro. Las colinas y los campos; no me canso de mirar; octubre está en pleno esplendor: campos arados y las marismas que se desdibujan. Ahora se levanta la neblina. Y una cosa "agradable" detrás de otra: el desayuno, escribir, pasear, el té, los cuencos, leer, dulces, irse a la cama. Una carta de Rose contándome lo que ha hecho ese día. Casi dejé que me estropeara el mío. Luego me recuperé. El mundo gira otra vez. Detrás…, ¡oh, sí! Pero estuve pensando que debo intensificarlo. En parte por Rose. En parte porque me aterra la aceptación pasiva. Vivo intensamente. En Londres, ahora o hace dos años, estaría vagando como un búho por las calles. Mucho más emocionante e intenso que aquí. Debo compensar eso, pero ¿cómo? Creo que inventando libros. Y siempre queda la posibilidad de una gran ola: no, no volveré a mirar eso con lupa. Retazos de recuerdos que refrescan mi espíritu. He terminado esos tres artículos (uno lo he enviado hoy). He terminado una página sobre Thoby. He olvidado el pescado. Tendré que pensar en algo para la cena. Pero todo es tan libre y fácil. L. y yo solos. Esta semana le hemos subido el sueldo a Louie* de doce chelines a quince. Está tan oronda y feliz como un niño al que le han dado una propina. También tengo a mano mi alfombra. Otra satisfacción. Y nada de obsesionarse con la ropa, como hacía Sybil, la vida social ha desaparecido. Pero quiero recordar algo positivo de estos años de guerra. L. está recolectando manzanas. Sally, ladra. Imagino la invasión del pueblo. Es raro cómo se ha limitado la vida al entorno del pueblo. Hemos comprado leña suficiente para varios inviernos. Todos nuestros amigos están aislados junto a fuegos invernales. Cartas de Angelica, Bunny, etcétera. No hay coches. Ni gasolina. Los trenes son poco fiables. Y nosotros en nuestra preciosa isla otoñal. Pero me dedicaré a leer a Dante, y a mi excursión por el libro de literatura inglesa. Me alegró ver el C.R.** manoseado por los lectores de la biblioteca pública a la que estoy pensando en inscribirme».

Fue como si en aquellos últimos meses de 1940 que pasamos en Rodmell hubiésemos entrado de pronto en el ojo silencioso e inmóvil del huracán de la guerra. Era una pausa, nada más que una pausa, mientras esperábamos el siguiente desastre; pero esperamos en una calma absoluta, sin tensión, con la amenaza de la invasión sobre nuestras cabezas, y las bombas y los bombardeos a nuestro alrededor.

Otra entrada en su diario (la del 2 de octubre), que incluí en Diario de una escritora, describe de manera vívida su estado de ánimo ese otoño, una especie de quietismo y contemplación imperturbable de la muerte, que había dejado de ser, como lo es para todos durante toda la existencia, el final, algo lejano e irreal, como si la contempláramos por el lado equivocado del telescopio de la vida, sino que se había convertido en algo mucho más inmediato, extraordinariamente cercano y real, que pendía constantemente sobre nuestras cabezas, algo que podía caer con estrépito en cualquier momento y aniquilarnos. «La otra noche —escribió— una gran explosión bajo la ventana. Tan cercana que los dos nos sobresaltamos». Su reacción inmediata fue: «Le dije a L.: No quiero morir todavía». Y luego sigue una descripción extraordinariamente vívida de lo que se sentiría al morir destrozado por una bomba:

«¡Oh!, intento imaginar cómo te mata una bomba. Me he representado con viveza la sensación; pero después no veo más que una sofocante inexistencia. Creo…, ¡oh!, yo quería otros diez años…, no esto…, y por una vez no sabré describirlo».

Creo que la muerte, la contemplación de la muerte, siempre estuvo a flor de piel en la imaginación de Virginia. Formaba parte del profundo desequilibrio de su mente. Estaba a medias «enamorada de la Muerte que todo lo alivia***». Puedo entenderlo, pero solo desde el punto de vista intelectual; emocionalmente nada me resulta más ajeno. Antes de empezar a envejecer, apenas pensaba en la muerte. Sabía que era el final inevitable, pero en el fondo soy un fatalista convencido. Tal vez se deba en parte a la tradición judía y a ese fatalismo escéptico que impregna incluso a Jehová en el Eclesiastés y todo el libro de Job; y después, en casi dos mil años de persecuciones y guetos en Europa, los judíos han aprendido que combatir o escapar a los males evitables de la vida requiere mucho esfuerzo. Aceptaría el riesgo de la inmortalidad, si me lo ofrecieran, pero no me preocupa mi muerte inevitable. A medida que uno envejece se ve obligado a pensar en ella, pues se va volviendo cada vez más próxima; llega el momento en que reparas en que la gente se sorprende de que sigas vivo, en que sabes que si plantas un árbol en el jardín no estarás vivo para ponerse bajo sus ramas, o, si compras una botella de Burdeos joven para «guardarla» es probable que mueras antes de que madure. He llegado a la época en que «No estaré aquí para verlo» ya no es académico, pues uno sabe que será pasado mañana. La pallida mors horaciana, la muerte pálida, está sentada sobre el hombro del jinete. Pero no creo estar jactándome o engañándome si digo que aunque lamento la inminencia de la muerte, no me preocupo por ella. Es el destino, lo inevitable, y no se puede hacer nada.

Otra entrada en su diario describe de manera vívida su estado de ánimo ese otoño, una especie de quietismo y contemplación imperturbable de la muerte, que había dejado de ser, como lo es para todos durante toda la existencia, el final, algo lejano e irreal, sino que se había convertido en algo mucho más inmediato, extraordinariamente cercano y real, que pendía constantemente sobre nuestras cabezas.

La actitud de Virginia respecto a la muerte era muy distinta. Siempre la tenía presente. El hecho de que hubiese intentado suicidarse en dos ocasiones —y casi hubiera tenido éxito— y el saber que la desesperación o la depresión más terribles podían volver a abrumarla significaba que la muerte nunca se alejaba mucho de su pensamiento. La temía y no obstante, como he dicho, estaba a medias «enamorada de la Muerte que todo lo alivia». Sin embargo, en esos últimos meses de 1940 con la muerte rodeándola por doquier, cuando las bombas estallaban tan cerca. «Le dije a L.: "No quiero morir todavía"». La razón era que estaba más feliz y tranquila de lo habitual. Eso se debía en gran parte a la satisfacción y facilidad de su escritura.




* Desde 1932 Louie vivía en una de las dos casas que yo poseía en Rodmell. Nos ayudaba con las tareas domésticas: llegaba a las ocho, fregaba los platos, hacía las camas y limpiaba la casa, y lo sigue haciendo en 1969.

** El Common Reader, donde se recogen los ensayos críticos de Virginia Woolf.

*** Verso de Oda a un ruiseñor, de John Keats (1795-1821).





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